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Diary of an Occult Resolution Assistant
- And Training Witch Valentine Orphanet
- Narrated by: Michelle Henderson
- Length: 13 hrs and 12 mins
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Summary
Valentine Orphanet had an fairly ordinary life until one grey day, she saw that advert in a news agent's window: "Position of employment offered for a researcher/assistant in the field of occult resolution." It seemed more interesting than basic paperwork and filing, but no where did it say anything about exposure to witches, gnomes, fae, creatures of the night, or vampires that share our world with us without our knowledge. We think we sit firmly upon the apex of the Earth's hierarchy pyramid, but it came as some surprise to Valentine to find out we do not.
Valentine is not always up to speed with her employment routines, but she thought that a short spell in the hospital may offer her a chance to rest and possibly enjoy a bunch of grapes from Mr. Xanthic, her employer who was a demon in meetings and a demon in pretty much all things he did. When Mr Xanthic did pay a visit, he brought with him a bloodied knife and a list of instructions instead of fruit.
Children are being preyed upon in their hospital ward. Young girls have been going missing from small villages across the country. Cattle are being mutilated and left strung across pathways. Demonic rituals are in cupboards. Witches are abroad. And somewhere, an angelic librarian is baking very bad cakes. Someone needs to find out what's happening and, if possible, bring everything to a satisfactory conclusion. All in a weeks work for Valentine Orphanet - all 13 days of it.