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Marriage Be Hard

By: Kevin Fredericks, Melissa Fredericks
Narrated by: Kevin Fredericks, Melissa Fredericks
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Summary

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Discover the keys to upholding your vows while staying sane in this hilariously candid guide to relationships, from the husband-and-wife team of comedian Kevin Fredericks and influencer Melissa Fredericks

FINALIST FOR THE NAACP IMAGE AWARD • “Kev and Melissa are not afraid to tell the truth!”—Tabitha Brown, New York Times bestselling author of Feeding the Soul

Growing up, Kevin and Melissa Fredericks were taught endless rules around dating, sex, and marriage, but not a lot about what actually makes a relationship work. When they first got married, they felt alone—like every other couple had perfect chemistry while the two of them struggled. There were conversations that they didn’t know they needed to have, fears that affected how they related to each other, and seasons of change that put their marriage to the test.

Part of their story comes across like a Christian fairytale: high school sweethearts, married in college, never sowed any wild oats, with two sons and a thriving marriage. But there’s another side of their story: the night Melissa kicked Kevin out of her car after years of communication problems, the time early in their marriage when Kevin bordered on an emotional affair, the way they’ve used social media and podcasts to conduct a no-holds-barred conversation about forbidden topics like jealousy, divorce, and how to be Christian and sex positive. (Because, as Kevin writes, “Your hormones don’t care about your religious beliefs. Your hormones want you to subscribe to OnlyFans.”)

In Marriage Be Hard, the authors provide a hilarious and fresh master class on what it takes to build and maintain a lasting relationship. Drawing on interviews with experts and nearly two decades of marriage, they argue that

Compatibility is overrated.

Communication is about way more than simply talking.

Seeing divorce as an option can actually help your marriage.

There’s such a thing as healthy jealousy.

Real marriage is not automatic. It ain’t no Tesla on the open road. Sometimes it’s a stick shift on a hill in the rain with no windshield wipers. But if you get comfortable visiting—and revisiting—the topics that matter, it can transform your bond with your partner and the life you’re building together.

Written for those tired of unrealistic relationship books—and for anyone wondering if they’re the only ones breaking all the rules—Marriage Be Hard is a breath of fresh air and the manual you wish existed after you said “I do.”

©2022 Kevin Fredericks, Melissa Fredericks (P)2022 Random House Audio
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Critic reviews

“Honey, listen, I’ve been married for nineteen years, and the title of the book lets me know that Kev and Melissa are not afraid to tell the truth! They had me at chapter 1, ‘Expectations Be Hard.’ Baby, this book ain’t hard to love!”—Tabitha Brown, actress, vegan foodie, and New York Times bestselling author of Feeding the Soul

“While Kev and Melissa show us how hard marriage can be, they also show us how beautiful it can be if you’re willing to be vulnerable and really do the work. This is essential reading for anyone married or for anyone remotely considering marriage.”—Tommy and Codie Oliver, creators of Black Love, Inc.

Marriage Be Hard is a relatable, honest take on life, love, and relationships. In their typical style, Kev and Melissa are authentic and engaging, playful and downright hilarious. They humbly offer readers real talk that both models healthy relational skills and vulnerably pulls the curtain back on some of the most common marital concerns. As a relationship counselor, I’d recommend the book to any couple wanting a fun, structured way (with awesome prompts!) to approach some deep, growth-promoting conversations.”—Morgan Johnson, MA, LPC, relationship counselor and trust recovery specialist

What listeners say about Marriage Be Hard

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Masterpiece

You both should be proud of yourselves. As a single person, i have learnt alot from your shows and this book did not fail to deliver! I have learnt lessons that I hope will help me in continuing to be a better for version of me. Thank you!

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Absolutely fantastic, appreciate your transparency

This will definitely help my marriage, so refreshing and encouraging. Thank you both for being so vulnerable and sharing 18 years worth of wisdom.
May God continue to bless you beyond your wildest dreams and please continue to do all you do to impact the marriages within this world and those preparing for marriage!!! Love it!

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Love The OnStage's 🥰🥰🥰

I'm about halfway through and I'm so grateful for their vulnerability and honesty through this book. Hearing them voice this book is perfect. It's already sparking such interesting conversations with my husband already.

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A really important exploration

There are so many good approaches to relationships within this book. Married or not, everyone can learn from Kev and Liss here.

It’s about character, attitude, determination, fun and most of all, love.

Well worth the listen.

At times, feels performing instead of read smoothly but that’s a small price to pay for pure gold!

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Nice easy listen finished in two days

I enjoyed this book as a person who has been in a committed relationship for 20 years. Kev and Melissa gave us so many gems and also an insight into there marriage.
As they said they have often been portrayed as “couple goals” but no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. That marriage be hard. It was really interesting to hear Melissa’s side of the story being bought up in the church and sex not being explained to her as a child or young adult. I had the same experience.
This is a great book.

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Lights camera and boundaries.

Hearing a couple's journey of growth and development from courtship to marriage, while still in their thirties in 2020's is so appericated. Established media infulencers many know of them,and I personally engaged with the brand through lockdown due to the offering of authentic engagement. Hearing the journey of their union so far, is awe inspiring, and really covers all angles for those in marriages, dating or just doing life solo. I hope an anniversary gift of a second installment appers in the next 22yrs for the Fredricks, and if not, we shall keep our eyes on the next generation of 'Stages' to set up and continue the journey.

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I knew this would not disappoint

I found this to be very enlightening. As someone who isn’t married I think a lot of what was said resinated and can be used in many relationships. I appreciate the openness and honesty from both Kevin and Melissa. Great listen!

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Excellent

A great read! I know understand why married folks say marriage be hard!! When my time comes I will read this again.

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beautiful

to have watched a part of your journey, especially the love hour & here's the thing - I can only aspire to build something as precious as you both. Melissa, I can listen to you all day. However, the sincerity and vulnerability that both of you have displayed in this book is just beautiful! 🎊

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Couldn't finish

As a newly wed I wanted to like this book, but it felt rather superficial and self absorbent. It lacked any real depth for me. There was very little biblical emphasis which is disappointing. Not for me I'm afraid.

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