Hard to describe how bad this is.

Possibly the worst book I have ever 'read' and the worst audio production I have ever heard. I can only assume that it was a vanity publishing by the owner of Audible or that someone had blackmail material on same. Audible should be ashamed for putting something this bad in their catalogue and should withdraw it.

The story itself is ludicrous and seems to have attempted to be a parody of Raymond Chandler mixed with Scott Meyer's, Off To Be The Wizard. It fails on all counts.

The book summary claims 'the original (and often humorous) sound effects from Faux Fiction Audio make the story come alive in ways you never expected.' Laughable yes, humorous no. The sort of thing a stage comedian does by tapping the microphone or blowing into it to indicate door knocking or a stormy night. Again self publishing amateurish in the extreme. Where other effects are used they are on a loop and drown out the narrator (no bad thing) as in the party/game scene where they seem to have recorded and repeatedly looped the screams from a roller coaster.

Then there was the narration. The worst thing about it. Each section starts with a quote from Scottish poet Robert Burns. I am dual nationality Scottish and Irish. I should have quit as soon as I heard the opening quote. The accent is like a Scooby Doo Irish, but nothing like any Scottish accent I have ever heard. (The Irish accent attempted when quoting W B Yeats is worse.) Not only did he make a mockery of the accent he couldn't pronounce the words. Some research might have helped, and he might even have managed to get the name of a famous, but awful, whisky correct.

One final insult by author and narrator. At one point he describes someone as being as lovely as woman in a Robert Burns novel. Really? I and a world of Burns scholars would love to know where he found such a thing

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