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  • To Kill or Be Killed

  • A True Crime Memoir from Prison
  • By: Joni Ankerson
  • Narrated by: Tanya Eby
  • Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (86 ratings)

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To Kill or Be Killed cover art

To Kill or Be Killed

By: Joni Ankerson
Narrated by: Tanya Eby
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Summary

The day we met in October of 1997, I was working at the District Court in Traverse City, Michigan as a Deputy Clerk. It was like most other days with arraignments, sentencings, civil case hearings, and the like. People shuffling in and out, everyone taking care of their important business with court appearances, document filings, paying tickets, fines, and bonding loved ones out of jail.

I loved my job. It was extremely satisfying and interesting with constant interaction with all walks of life, including people on either end of the judicial spectrum and many in between. Suddenly, there he was. Tall, handsome, and looking so impressive and important in his Michigan State Police uniform with his hat, gun belt, and badge. A powerful man who had chosen a profession to serve and protect. He was extremely friendly and upbeat, smiling profusely. Best of all, he, too, was unattached.

What could go wrong? He was like a dream man. We clicked, immediately, and began dating exclusively. But he was not a dream man. He was a nightmare...as I learned over the next 12 years.

Twelve years of enduring domestic violence at its absolute worse. Constant abuse, control, manipulation, and threats. Sadistic sexual deviance and sexual violence. It was only going to end one way: someone would die in our bed and someone would go to prison for murder.

This is my story about domestic violence, resilience, reckoning, and survival.

©2020 by Joni Ankerson (P)2020 by Blackstone Publishing

What listeners say about To Kill or Be Killed

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Hard to believe its true

At first I was gripped by this totally disturbing account of this abusive marriage

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Sad but important

This book helped me understand why abuse victims stay with their abusers for so long. It is incomprehensible how one human being can do such a thing to another human being...

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

I’m not sure…

I escaped from an abusive relationship so I can relate to some of this book but some of the info just goes over my head. I’m not sure how much to believe. An example would be when he takes away her cell phone when she’s away from him…she says she can’t contact her family, what about a landline?or when he threatens using the mallet..she could have spoke to someone at the garage..I know it takes courage to leave and it effects you for the rest of your life…so yes it’s an important book but some of the info needs to be taken with a pinch of salt. Narration was fine.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Interesting story

Narrator’s voice just did not fit at all, took me a while to get into this story because the narrator’s voice was just the wrong tone. I put this one down and then started again and persevered. Interesting story.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic

What a story of just how much one person can break another. Shocking. Just shows how thoroughly manipulative and controlling some people are. But this lady also had poor mental health for some of her marriage. Nothing like kicking a girl when she's down. A sad tale indeed. Thank goodness she's free of him now ... even if she did have to shoot him.

I honestly couldn't tear myself away from this book.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

interesting but not fantastic

I found this book interesting but didn't expect it to be as God related as it was. I wish there had been more about Jodie's life in prison since her sentencing.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Wow

Amazing how these disgusting people live . I’m so glad he’s dead & believe she did the right thing . What she went through & how on earth didn’t his family see him for what he was a disgusting thing . Great book listened to it whilst gardening in one day 👍🏼

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    5 out of 5 stars
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a truly breath taking listen. so sad

the book was fantastic, the narrator was excellent, putting emotions and feelings in her reading of it . it is such a shame what she went through

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Very insightful

Firstly, I had to remind myself that this is just one side of a story, however i found it extremely insightful into the thoughts and feelings of those suffering domestic violence. Some of the situations described are harrowing and i felt my heart being tugged in all sorts of ways. I recommend this book whole heartedly but remember a man is dead and this is the story of the surviving spouse

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Brilliant account of real life domestic abuse

This account was brilliant and I believe anyone who has experienced domestic abuse can relate to this woman. Her story resonated so many aspects of my ex husbands behaviour, I found it quite chilling to hear. I hope she is at peace with herself and able to sleep well knowing he can’t hurt her anymore. Good luck to you Jonie x

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