Gia and Keisha were okay with today's episode of General Hospital. There were some nice moments: Elizabeth and Lucky (how gracious was Elizabeth, being true to herself and Aidan while at the same time having to endure Lucky's smell!), Sam and Dante (although how hard must Lulu have been bumming listening to that conversation, coma or no coma?), and Ava and Trina (Gia learned the difference between ombre and hombre today!). Nice job!

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Can Gia and Keisha keep it together long enough to discuss one (1) episode of General Hospital? They cannot. So if you were expecting to gain some real insights into the characters and storylines of America's favorite soap opera, you may be disappointed. You will be disappointed. Oh, there is some GH related whining. And a bit of applause for the return of Terry. But mostly there is nonsense. Middle-aged women nonsense. Gia and Keisha apologize, in their way.

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Well the good news is the poker game is finally over! And, perhaps giddy at the thought of never having to pretend he has a losing hand again, Jason kissed Anna! And she kissed him back! Is this anything? No idea. But at least it's not more poker! Meanwhile, Drew continues to poke poor Willow, who is really struggling to keep it together. James may have done Willow a kindness by spilling the beans to Ned about the kiss that probably wasn't even that enjoyable. But will Drew get shut down before he inflicts more of his special brand of charm on Willow? Let's hope so. And finally, where the hell are Laura and Kevin? And Scotty?! Did they find an all-you-can-eat buffet somewhere? That would be fine. We just want to know! Thank you.

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Oh America, World, Portugal. What is happening to our beloved Hospital? The best thing about the last two episodes? No Ric! Of course, there are always going to be stretches where nothing special happens. But it seems like right now stupid things are happening, and Gia and Keisha get enough of that in their own lives. So maybe there could be less of that? Maybe Willow could take a good look at Drew. And then throw up like the rest of us? Maybe Lois could remember who she is and where she's from? Maybe Laura and Kevin could realize they seem to have been written off the show and get the hell back to Port Charles? Anyway, the ship will probably right itself. It's just hard when Gia is already sad because it's the end of watermelon season.

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All right listen General Hospital, no one needs to see greasy old Drew wandering around the Quartermaine grounds like it's the last day at Zuma Beach. Poor Willow. Very difficult to get oil stains out. But isn't Sasha a lovely friend? And distraught, grief-stricken Kristina found a safe space with Felicia, so maybe she can focus more on healing and less on gun stealing. Even Trina seems to be moving forward thanks to Aunt Stella. Now, if only Ric would move on out. That guy is everywhere! Elizabeth, take your French fries and run!

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Gia and Keisha had really hoped to be electrifying tonight. But it's possible they blew a fuse instead. Who is to blame? Gia? A little. Keisha? A fair amount. Global warming? Well, no one thinks straight when it's unseasonably hot and humid. The General Hospital writers? Absolutely positively. So, if the writers aren't even going to try to stay true to characters who have been part of the show for decades, how are Gia and Keisha supposed to stay on topic? Tracy is suddenly shutting down the part of herself that allowed for a little warmth, a little kindness. Sonny is suddenly shutting down the part of himself that allowed for a little warmth, a little kindness. Wait. What? Gia thinks maybe the newest batch of writers may be psychopaths. Interesting. But regardless of whether the writers are cold-blooded or just plain sloppy, Gia and Keisha had to find more satisfying things to talk about, so welcome to the world of watermelon, international coffee, succulents (yes, they're back), Ricky Gervais's After Life, Star Trek, ER (yes, it's back), Emmy winner Lamorne Morris of New Girl (Winston and his cat Furguson)and Fargo, and more (which is somehow less). They apologize once again, but also believe the GH writers owe them and all of the fans an apology.

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Gia and Keisha are not always sharp. This is not new information. Today's episode is a bit of a montage drifting between superficial observations regarding outfits and hair, and superficial observations about characters who get too much airtime (Ric, Drew, Ric) and characters who get none (Liesl--where the hell is Liesl?! Brad, Terry). Also Gia mourns the end of watermelon season, and Keisha wonders if there are real-life mobsters who would be fun to have lunch with.

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It's hard being a parent, especially on a soap opera. Poor Alexis, doing her best to keep her girls safe and sound, and now she's the one falling apart. And Carly, covering for Sonny because that's who she is, but Joss needs her to be someone else. On the flip side, Molly is going to wish Ric was someone else. And the way Portia is acting, Trina might be wishing for the same soon. But Jason will always be Jason, apparently, melting guns next to sacks of coffee. Good for him!? And Sonny will always be Sonny. Is that good for anybody?

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