This week licensed therapist Kati Morton offers ways to increase our resilience and tolerance to life’s stressors, why it’s important to speak up in therapy, and why we can sometimes wish our therapist could read our mind. She then discusses the reasons we can struggle to talk about our issues in therapy without feeling full of shame about it.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 250 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT

Audience questions: 1. Can you provide any tips or techniques to increase resiliency and tolerance to life's stressors? 00:58

2. Is getting a therapy appointment about once a month (due to extremely limited availability at college clinics) worth it even if it doesn’t feel like it’s helping? What can you do when your insurance deductible is really high and you’re a college student working multiple jobs just to make rent, food, etc? Especially when parents won’t help pay. I’ve tried medication but nothing feels like it’s working. Hope this gets answered because I feel like there are lots of people in this situation. 06:15

3. You often say that if something your therapist says or does bothers you or triggers you, you should bring it up and talk about it with your therapist. But I often feel like if I say something to them and they stop doing/saying whatever it is, then I'm not really learning how to deal with similar situations in the real world. Realistically, I can't go around telling the world to not say or act a certain way so I feel reluctant to say anything when it happens in the therapy room. But then I spiral out and get frustrated with myself for even being bothered by something that I clearly understand was not done intentionally. I also don't want to make my therapist feel... 10:56

4. I’m not sure if I’m the only one who does this, but I’ve noticed that in therapy I often expect my therapist to be able to read my mind. But I know this is impossible and unfair to her. For example, I told her the other day that I had written down some thoughts I had after the previous session and I told her I wasn’t sure if I should read them to her or not. Her response was “It’s up to you.” By her saying it was up to me, I know she was just respecting whichever decision I made and she didn’t want to force me to read it if I didn’t want to. But for some reason I just assumed she could read my mind so when she replied in a respectfully neutral way, I felt a bit let down and I thought to myself “okay but do you REALLY want to know my thoughts?” In that moment I really wanted HER to WANT me to read them to her. Like I suppose in a validation type of way I wanted to feel as if she really WANTED to know my thoughts and inner experience.. to feel like she really cares and is invested in me and my experience. Obviously I know it’s unfair to expect her to have read my mind though...I do this quite often. And I end up feeling frustrated and disappointed and let down. Why do I do this? 24:28

5. How can I learn to manage the shame I feel talking about my 'issues' in therapy? I have CPTSD and I intellectually know shame is a large part of that, but that doesn't stop me feeling overwhelmed by shame having discussed things with my therapist. I go for days thinking that she must be disgusted by me and cannot possibly want me as a client ... and I feel too ashamed to talk about this shame! 31:56 PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton offers her thoughts on using AI chat agents in between therapy sessions, why trauma can be hard to move past, and what it really means to be willing versus just trying. She also talks about wanting friends while being a socially anxious introvert, and why our therapist telling us she cares about us can be triggering.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 249 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions:

1. I’m currently seeing a therapist (cognitive behavioral therapy with a focus on trauma). Since the sessions can be emotionally intense, I’ve started to use ChatGPT between appointments to help process my thoughts and manage difficult emotions. I had previously tried journaling, but it felt more like a monologue and wasn’t as helpful. Using ChatGPT, however, has allowed me to engage in a dialogue, which has been more effective in organizing my thoughts and gaining clarity. When I shared this with my therapist, she expressed concern. She mentioned that using AI in this way might be similar to seeking support from another therapist, which could interfere with the therapeutic process. She also cautioned against the risk of isolation. My question for you: From a psychological perspective, what do you think about using AI as a supplemental tool between therapy sessions? Could it hinder the healing process? If so, what alternatives would you recommend to help navigate emotionally challenging periods between sessions? 00:36

2. I’ve noticed a lot of talk about repressed trauma on the podcast. I, however, remember everything. I’m currently working through some of this with an EMDR therapist. I’m having some difficulty letting go of these incidents, mainly because I feel like this invalidates them. Also, I feel the need to keep them in my back pocket- so to speak- so as to justify my hurt whenever I need to. My question is- what does it look like to work through trauma, while still recognizing that it was awful? As a separate note- why am I having an extreme physical reaction (shaking, almost convulsing) in the midst of EMDR therapy? 04:51

3. What does it really mean to be willing vs just trying? My therapist says I need to stop trying and start being willing, but I don’t understand the difference. In my mind, wanting to get better, going to therapy, and putting in effort is being willing. It sometimes feels like he’s suggesting I’m not trying hard enough, which is frustrating. For context, I have CPTSD from significant childhood emotional neglect and abuse, which has continued into adulthood. Thanksgiving was especially traumatic, and I’m working hard to... 10:43

4. I’m a very socially anxious introvert, which causes me to avoid a lot of social situations and interactions. Sometimes I feel lonely and “friendless” but I am very close to my mom and my sister which feels like enough human connection to me. But is that really enough? 6:49

5. How do I stop being mad at my therapist for telling me she cares about me? Every time she tells me she has been worried or that she cares about me I get this voice in my head screaming at me that it's fake and that this relationship is not a real one. I feel like she says this stuff only because it's... 21:50 PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton

X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton discusses how to know if we are doing therapy “right” and why it can feel so unstructured at times. She then dives into why we can want certain people to worry about us, how isolation can help us and also hurt us, and the effects of having a narcissistic mother and being the eldest daughter. Ask Kati Anything ep. 248 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. I just started therapy at my university, but whenever I think about what I discussed with my therapist and replay the whole conversation after each session, I always wonder whether I'm doing it right. It just feels kind of messy and I feel like I'm all over the place when talking to my therapist. I have never experienced therapy before and I don't know what it's like, so I really don't know if it's going the way it's supposed to. It also feels like I'm... 00:38 2. Why do I want certain people to worry about me? I always have a person, usually it’s only one person at a time, that I get super obsessed with and that I think about 24/7. This is not in a romantic way, it could be but not necessarily. They are all I think about, and I crave their attention a lot, and I also get really jealous when they spend time with other people and I am super sensitive to how they treat me. They can make me feel super happy or really sad. I also want them to worry about me, I think because I ... 08:20 3. Can you please talk about how traumatized ppl use self isolation as a coping mechanism, but that sometimes becomes a negative cornerstone of their personality making connection harder…. Also could you share some tips as to how traumatized individuals can begin updating that personality trait to become engaged and open to the world. 14:07 4. My question contains a lot of context so please bear with me and I'm sorry in advance for the essay. I've been struggling A LOT for the past two years with binge eating, anxiety, depression, and dissociation. After a previous attempt to seek therapy, which didn’t go well (because I was 16 and my mom freaked out and was so stigmatized and when I also talked about it to one of my closest friends and my friend suggested that I go to therapy, my mom happened to read at the texts and told me "see, now your friend thinks you're crazy!"), but anyway, I finally took the step to seek therapy as I've turned 18 and started university and I had 2 sessions so far, and it's all started after my prof encouraged me to go down that path and honestly, she is the sweetest person ever and she is the only... 19:45 PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com