I've been racking my brain for a phrase to compete with my favorite "Wellbutrin Wins," to similarly describe my experience with the anti-depressant Lexapro.

Wellbutrin, an anti-depressant medication I started a year and a half ago, helped quiet some of the constant panic and terror I felt about every day living. It also helped tune out my sense of everyone else's feelings and needs, so I could better center around my own.

Six months later, I worked with my psychiatrist to add Lexapro to the mix. It helped me land in my body, with my thoughts and emotions still vibrant and swirling around me, but no longer sweeping me away.

In this podcast, I talk about situational depression ( 3 months of shoulder pain!), and seasonal depression (bitterly cold and early dark days of winter) crashing together to leave me thinking... "Why Monday?"

I don't know that medication will benefit everyone who needs it and tries it.

But I do know that it still feels incredibly shameful and scary to talk about needing mental health support. And this keeps people who could benefit greatly from it from even considering it.

Depression and anxiety are already such incredibly lonely experiences. And help - whether medication, therapy, exercise, or a combination thereof - can take time to kick in. Staying committed to getting better, when everything already feels so hard, is a true act of courage.

Come check out the Hot Mess series on TikTok, and watch as I lose my mind - and find it again - writing, producing, and acting in a show!

#CreatingIsHealing🦋

Medical trauma. Suuuuuuuuuuper fun topic, right?

I'm (obvi) not a doctor, and this isn't an official diagnosis. Or expert advice.

This is one long-running patient who is processing the (unknown, unseen) mental health effects of repeated surgeries and endless doctors who can't find anything wrong.

It takes a toll.

As I prepare myself for shoulder surgery - my third (!!) - this week, I've been processing some medical trauma (again: undiagnosed. And I recognize the term trauma gets thrown around a lot lately, but I do think it applies here. And it is a useful framework for understanding my reaction to the upcoming procedure.)

I kept thinking it must be severe anxiety, or total overwhelm, but the truth is I'm an expert planner, and once I knew we were doing this, I was ready.

Logistically, at least.
Ready with frozen meals and button down shirts and post op meds.

Yet I found myself checking out at random intervals.
Feeling both this desperate need to run and this panicked sensation of being frozen in place.

This was not a reaction to the upcoming surgery.
This was a reaction to past unprocessed traumatic experiences.

Come check out the Hot Mess series on TikTok, and watch as I lose my mind - and find it again - writing, producing, and acting in a show!

#CreatingIsHealing🦋

As a girl who lives by her to do list... I find the idea of surrender extremely uncomfortable.

How am I supposed to trust that the work I am doing, the work I am putting out into the world, the people I am meeting and connecting with - that it will all lead to the kinds of roles I want to play, and stories I want to tell?

I am not good with things I can't control.

This week I'm sharing about how I am rethinking the idea of surrender. So it doesn't reflect a lack of agency, but rather an amplification of my creative spark.

Come check out the Hot Mess series on TikTok, and watch as I lose my mind - and find it again - writing, producing, and acting in a show!

#CreatingIsHealing🦋