Talking can help unearth problems and direct you towards possible solutions and compromises. But the wrong conversations reinforce an image of the relationship as problematic, and upset your partner.

So, what should you do instead? When and how should you bite your tongue? Matt and Graham explore these questions and more in today's episode.

The blogpost they discuss is available here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/get-some-help/202412/bite-your-tongue-when-to-stay-quiet-in-your-relationship

Email us at crazyinlovepodcastuk@gmail.com

Romantic relationships today carry heavy expectations. We want our partner to be our best friend, confidant, co-parent, caregiver, and lover. This is a lot to ask of one person; no wonder many relationships struggle under the weight of expectations.

In this episode, Matt and Graham focus on when it's OK to stray - emotionally, socially, or intellectually - to help sustain a fulfilling relationship.

The Psychology Today blogpost this episode is based on can be found here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/get-some-help/202411/when-its-ok-to-stray

Email us at crazyinlovepodcastuk@gmail.com

Sex is brilliant. But how much is enough? Do you need to spice things up from time to time? How do you make sure your sex life stays healthy when kids and careers get in the way? How do you stay attracted to each other when the body gets looser and flabbier over the years? Should you ever have sex when your heart's not fully into it?

Graham and Matt explore sex and sexlessness in this episode, with a particular focus on their Psychology Today blogpost on the subject, available here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/get-some-help/202410/just-do-it-sex-can-be-vital-in-a-long-term-relationship

Email us at crazyinlovepodcastuk@gmail.com

Money matters. 75% of couples say financial stress is affecting their relationship. Why? How can you avoid it getting in the way of your relationship satisfaction? What if one partner earns loads more than the other? What do you do if your spending habits differ? Is a prenup the answer to all your problems?

Graham and Matt explore money this week.

Their Psychology Today blogpost is available here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/get-some-help/202410/looking-for-a-man-in-finance-money-and-relationships

Email us at crazyinlovepodcastuk@gmail.com

This episode, Matt and Graham try to help listeners answer the key question of when to stay and work hard on an imperfect relationship, and when to call it quits.

In a culture of instant gratification, we're often told to cut and run.

But relationships aren't meant to be easy, and a good life involves accepting life on life’s terms. If you end it, you might be missing the satisfaction and self-growth that come via the joint effort.. You might even live longer: married people are 20 percent less likely to die prematurely.

Even if you choose to stay and fight for the relationship, how do you make that work? What might you need to change within yourself?

Email us at crazyinlovepodcastuk@gmail.com

It's 25 years since the release of David Fincher's movie Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is, of course, never to discuss Fight Club.

Matt and Graham disagree. More couples should talk about fighting. Arguments happen. The trick is to make sure you fight well.

Email us at crazyinlovepodcastuk@gmail.com

Cultivating good relationships is like learning a new language: there are certain grammatical "rules" to guide you; practice makes perfect; making mistakes is a key part of getting better. But we often mistakenly assume we just absorb those skills during our early lives.

Today, Matt and Graham explore skills we need to learn along the way to get better at relationships and how to learn to put aside some of the learning we did in our childhood homes ("we never argue in this house", "when things get difficult, doors get slammed" etc.) and lean into the differences our partners bring to the table.

Along the way, the delve deeper into some of the specific skills we could all do with practicing to improve our relationships.

The star-cross'd lovers, Romeo and Juliet, are often held up as paragons of a romantic ideal. But are they really?

Today, Matt and Graham have a look at the mistakes we make in love: the assumption that there should be "the one" who "completes" us; the idea that the intensity of teenage love should continue into adulthood; the concept that we should simply accept relationships becoming stale and boring.

Along the way, they have a look at the behaviours that need to be fixed to lead to more fulfilling relationships and talk about what "imperfect love" looks like.

Some references in this episode:

The wonderful Before Sunset trilogy of movies by Richard Linklater: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112471/

Love's Executioner by Irvin Yalom: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Loves-Executioner-Irvin-D-Yalom/dp/014197544X

Irwin Hirsch on "imperfect love": https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15240650701518532