FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. The Deadly Traps of Adolescence Day 5 of 10 Guest: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: Dating Bob: There are times when a conversation between a father and his daughter can be a little awkward. Dad: Hi, Jules, how was gymnastics? Julie: Good. I landed the double tonight. Dad: All right, way to go. Jules, how are you doing with the guys? Julie: Okay. Dad: You know, your mom and I have been talking about you and all those boys who call on the phone. Julie: Great. Dad: Your mom and I just want to make sure you know what you stand for as you get old enough to date, you know what I mean? Julie: I know, Dad. Dad: I want to ask you a very personal question and, listen, you've got the freedom not to answer if you don't want to, okay? Julie: Sure, Dad, why not? Dad: Have you thought through how far you're going to go physically with the opposite sex? Julie: Uh-huh. Dad: Well, then, would you mind telling me how far you intend to go? Julie: I know, Dad. Dad: Where are you going to draw your boundaries, Jules? Your limits? Julie: Dad, I know what's right and what's wrong, okay? Dad: Okay, I'll take that for an answer – for now. Bob: And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition of our broadcast. Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and, Dennis, your wife Barbara joining us this week as well. I'm Bob Lepine, and the tension in that car between that dad and that daughter … Dennis: … did you hear her keep turning that radio up? Bob: She did not want to talk. Dennis: I've been there. Bob: I've been there, too – got a few radios turned up on me in the conversation. This is a particularly difficult issue for parents to deal with, with their children. We've talked on the last couple of broadcasts about how we've got to press through some of that negative static we get from our kids, and get to the core issues around physical involvement, sexual involvement. But one of the other traps facing our children as they walk through the teenage years is a trap that is right alongside the trap of sexual intimacy. It's the trap of dating. In fact, it may be the gateway. I think you probably have to step in the dating trap before you usually ever get to the sexual relationship trap, and that's where a lot of parents have got to be shrewd in this culture. Dennis: You know, parents have got to realize that as our children grow up and into the teenage years, there are going to be these hidden traps, these hidden snares, that will be set for them, and I think one of the biggest ones that they will face is this issue of dating. I think of the verse over in Psalm 142, verse 3 – it says, "When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way. In the path where I walk, men have hidden a snare for me. Look to my right and see no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge. No one cares for my life." Well, the psalmist didn't feel that, but a teenager ought to be able to say, "I have a parent. I have a mom and a dad. I have a mom, a dad, and a grandparent who care about my way and who are looking out for the hidden snare of dating and the attraction to the opposite sex." Bob: I think the big question, Barbara, for a lot of kids, as they approach junior high, and they start to develop some interest in members of the opposite sex is – when can I start? How soon can I start dating? And that question might creep up on you. Barbara: Oh, I think it does creep up on you, just like a lot of this other stuff creeps up on parents of adolescents. We discovered that early on with Ashley, our oldest. We were at a conference, and we were there with another family, and this other family had a son who was a year older than Ashley, and they had been friends for years, and we just didn't think a whole lot about it. But they decided one day they wanted to take a walk together and go get a Coke, and we let them go, and then kind of later on we realized they spent some time together alone. They're 12 and 13 years old. Dennis: Yeah, she was 12 years old. Barbara: ...
