Episode 3: In today’s episode, George discusses the concept of divorce planning. If you have the time to begin thinking through specific issues, you’ll be much better prepared. Obviously, depending upon the circumstances, this isn’t always possible. However, this discussion might highlight a few issues you should consider. George is a family law attorney primarily practicing in Jefferson County and the surrounding counties. What’s Your Scenario? Generally, there are 3 scenarios leading up to a divorce petition: 1) You’re getting ready to file, 2) Your spouse has already filed, or 3) Both of you realize it’s not working out. The issues involved would still be the same. George often asks about the catalyst for the decision. Has the couple exhausted the other options such as counseling or therapy? These are personal decisions, because in Kentucky it only takes one person to file for a divorce. He advises that you should consider the emotional impact of the decision. How is it going to impact you and/or your spouse? There’s balance to the decision. Then, there’s the consideration of how it’s going to affect others including your children and extended family members. When Is It Time for a Lawyer? It depends on a couple of factors. If you know this is where it’s going, it’s better to engage an attorney as early as possible in the process. If you were surprised by your spouse’s decision, they probably already have an attorney and you should move quickly to retain counsel. You’re going to need someone to advocate on your behalf and to guide you through the process, itself. Can We Have the Same Lawyer? In George’s opinion, this doesn’t usually work. Normally, the attorney would only represent one party. The other party may decide not to hire an attorney, but that’s not very common. Divorce is an adversarial process, so George has a duty to represent his client. Even if the divorce is uncontested, George would still only represent one person. Ideally, the couple would agree on as many of the details as possible, but those informal agreements don’t always remain intact, as the divorce process moves forward. Unfortunately, individuals may not fully understand their legal rights or legal responsibilities while making those agreements. It’s true that having a framework is a good idea, but you should expect your attorney to guide you through the divorce process. What Do We Do about the Kids? This is a common question George hears during the divorce planning stage. He usually responds, “You handle them delicately.” It’s important to effectively manage what the information the kids get, what they see, what they hear, etc. The information or answers to questions should be age-appropriate. Take into account the relationship dynamic each child has with his/her siblings and each of the parents. As best as possible, you should shield them from the reality of what’s happening. George advises that while you do have a responsibility to be honest with your child/children, you should strive to be age-appropriate in your conversations with them. They are caught in the middle, but they don’t have to know every detail. There are adult matters and kid matters. Be judicious in an effort to protect them. Dealing with Finances You need to begin thinking about the financial impact. Begin with food and shelter. While you were together, there may have been two incomes. Going forward, you have only your income. How are you going to make that work? What might you need to make it work if the incomes are significantly different? The value of engaging in divorce planning with your attorney is that he/she can help you to set realistic expectations, based on the law. You need to begin working through the issues, because in all reality, you may not get everything you want. There’s a balance that needs to be struck. George explains it’s important to look at your assets and liabilities from a macro-level. Is real estate involved? How much money is in the bank accounts? Are there retirement accounts? What debts do you and your spouse currently have? Do specific assets or liabilities belong to entirely to one individual (i.e. non-marital)? Now consider child support. How much will most-likely be paid and by whom? Will there be maintenance (“alimony”) paid and by whom? You need to begin gathering financial documentation. Are you the person in the marriage who handles the checkbook? It may be easier for you to get an accurate read on the current bills and balances. Do you know where the accounts are and do you have the passwords required to access them? At some point, you’re going to need this information for all of your assets and liabilities. You’re going to have some level of rights and responsibilities based on the financial information. You may also want to gain access to the financial ...
