[SEGMENT 1-1] Christmas songs repeat 2023 [SEGMENT 1-2] Learn to enjoy Christmas It’s Christmas Day and I hope you are enjoying life with friends and family. And if you happen to be alone, then thank you for including me in your Christmas, and know that I am with you in spirit. When I was an engineer, I had a friend who hated the holidays, especially Christmas. I thought he was kidding, but each year he got very depressed at this time. It was so difficult for me to understand this, because I’m a “cup half filled” person. What was so intriguing to me is that any other time of year, this guy was just like me. He was truly the Merry Mexican. One of the technicians on my engineering team, and the guy was a joy to be around…except during the holidays. In a way I get it. The most wonderful time of the year for God-loving people is almost approached with trepidation. It’s the time of year to keep your mouth shut. Yes, we’ve spent all year fighting the lunatic Left, and now we’re supposed to gather around the dinner table, smiling politely as Aunt Karen waxes poetic about “how presidential” Gavin Newsom looks in a windbreaker. The Unbearable Expectations of Christmas Christmas is supposed to be festive, but for many, it’s a pressure cooker of unrealistic expectations. Let’s start with the car commercials. Who are these people getting luxury cars with big red bows? I swear, I’ve never met anyone who’s walked outside on Christmas morning and found a shiny new Lexus in the driveway. Not one. This isn’t a gift—it’s a financial ambush. “Merry Christmas, honey! Here’s a monthly car payment the size of our mortgage.” Also, can we talk about the fact that Hollywood now feels obligated to diversify these commercials? Oh, look, it’s Jamal and Shanice, living their best lives in matching sweaters, unwrapping a BMW. I’m not saying it hasn’t happened, but let’s not pretend this is a universal experience. For most of us, the biggest thing we’re unwrapping is the family pack of socks from Costco. New Year’s Resolutions: The Annual Lie And then there’s New Year’s. We treat it like a fresh start, even though it’s literally just the day after December 31. “This year, I’m going to the gym!” Sure, you are, Karen. Right after you finish the leftover pecan pie and delete Netflix. Why do we lie to ourselves like this? The same people who couldn’t manage to walk their dog more than twice in 2023 are now planning to train for a marathon. Stop it. Holidays with the Left But let’s get to the real Christmas buzzkill: Leftists. From Thanksgiving onward, we Conservatives are given a strict set of holiday rules. Don’t wear your MAGA hat to dinner. Don’t mention Trump. Don’t bring up Biden unless you’re praising his “resilience.” It’s like the PC police have infiltrated our homes, ready to pounce if you so much as hum “God Bless America.” Even in victory—and Trump’s 2024 win was a victory for America, the world, and maybe even Mars—we’re told to tone it down. “Don’t gloat,” they say. Meanwhile, they’ve spent four years calling us racists, fascists, and worse. Well, guess what, Aunt Karen? This Christmas, I’m drinking eggnog from my TKJN Trump Nickname mug and flaunting my Trumpiness like a MAGA elf at the North Pole. Why Conservatives Need Christmas Here’s the thing: We Conservatives need Christmas. It’s our time to recharge, to celebrate faith, family, and freedom. While the Left spends the season trying to cancel Rudolph for being “problematic” (too red, obviously Republican), we’re out here keeping the traditions alive. Caroling? Check. Nativity scenes? Double check. Loudly pointing out that Jesus was not a socialist? Triple check. And let’s not forget, Christmas is the ultimate reminder that good triumphs over evil. It’s like a Hallmark movie on steroids. The world needed a savior, and boom, Jesus arrived. And in the spirit of that divine intervention, let’s celebrate another miracle: Trump saved us from Bidenomics, open borders, and the Ministry of Truth. You better believe that’s worth a toast. Dealing with the Lunatics Potential Funny AdditionsA fake Christmas letter from the DNC: “Dear Conservatives, Please don’t celebrate too loudly. It’s making us look bad.”A MAGA-themed Christmas song parody: “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Freedom.”A holiday card: “All I want for Christmas is four more years!” I hope today you have on your Trump MAGA hat, drink from your TKJN Trump Nickname mug, and flaunt your “Trumpiness” like Trumpian elves. [SEGMENT 1-3] Christmas toys repeat 2023 [SEGMENT 1-4] Government trophy girlfriend I was thinking about this, and I’ve said many times that it’s the rough patches in life that teach you lessons. You learn little from the good times. That's why so many billionaires' kids end up in rehab. And plastic surgeons feast on the ...
