Tami and Scott, the Director of Content Development at Seeking Integrity, answer some common questions people new to recovery might have. They cover everything from the difference in SA 12-step programs, what to look for, and what types of resources are available for SA-specific individuals and their betrayed spouses.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:45] Today’s episode covers common questions around the 12-step program.

[3:25] A 12-step program teaches us how to be honest with ourselves and others.

[3:45] Why are 12-step programs different for sex addicts?

[5:00] SA and eating disorder programs are different because we have to define our own sobriety.

[5:55] Scott breaks down the different SA groups you can join.

[11:40] How do I find the right resources for my specific needs?

[17:35] What should a betrayed spouse look for/do?

[18:15] What about programs that aren’t 12-step focused?

[20:20] Remember, 90 meetings in 90 days doesn’t mean you’re magically cured by day 91.

[29:15] What does it mean to have a ‘higher power’ in a s12-step program? I’m not religious.

[34:15] I’m a betrayed partner but my husband won’t admit any wrongdoing. What should I do?

[40:35] Who should my accountability partner be?

[47:50] When does it make sense to ask my partner about his recovery? I don’t want to know the details, but I do want to know the progress.

[52:55] His friends are backing him up and I feel manipulated by him. What should I do?

[56:55] What should you look for in a sponsor?

[1:00:30] Can betrayed partners also attend a SA meeting?

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

QUOTES

• “Eating disorders are about learning how to eat in healthier ways. Sexual sobriety is about what is problematic for me and what is not?”

• “It doesn’t matter which SA group you go to, just be comfortable and be able to be honest. If you can share honestly and openly and get support, great, you’re in the right spot.”

• “Tami and I are fans of 12-step recovery because that’s what’s worked for us, but there are other options. Explore them!”