I felt alone in a crowded room. Have you ever felt that way? I was thinking today of those memories I have of feeling lonely when I was in middle school, high school, and college. I had lots of friends growing up, but I never felt like I measured up, that I was as pretty, and that I fit in quite as well as everybody else seemed to.

When I was introduced to alcohol, I became a continuously seeping volcano. The more I drank, the more destructive my self-talk. There was this "happy place" I could get to if I drank just the right amount where my problems didn't disappear (unfortunately), but I just didn't care anymore. The more I drank, I would surpass that comfort zone into an erupting volcano of depression. The very thing that was taking away the pain and discomfort was ultimately killing me.

I drank every day from my late teens until I was 42 years old with very few exceptions. In today's episode, I talk about what it was like to start going to AA. If you've ever wondered what it's like, listen to this episode.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts and on ⁠YouTube⁠!

Visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠rachel@recoverydailypodcast.com⁠.

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