In this is the fourth and final episode in the Letters to Wives season, my guest is Melissa Grace Tablada. She’s a Catholic psychotherapist and fertility care practitioner. Throughout this Letters to Wives series, many of my guests have mentioned how marriage therapy radically changed their marriage for the better.

Melissa and I are talking about what you should be looking for in a marriage therapist, the lies that keep you from therapy, and how to love your spouse in challenging seasons.

But we’re also talking about connecting with your spouse while raising a family, how to make date nights intentional, and how to have good, quality conversations with your husband.

Whether you’re looking for a quality marriage therapist to help your marriage thrive or you want some tips for having a quality conversation on your next date night, sister, this letter is for you.

Topics we cover:

• Melissa’s story as a Catholic woman

• Why you shouldn’t wait for a crisis to consider marriage therapy

• How to go about choosing a good therapist for you and your marriage

• Some of the reasons that women and couples stay away from marriage therapy

• Bringing up your desire for marriage therapy with your spouse

• What to do if your spouse is hesitant to go to therapy with you

• Melissa’s advice for what to do if you’re feeling disconnected from your spouse while raising a family

• How to connect with your spouse on date night and Melissa’s surprising advice about how to get into deeper connection

• Why Melissa and her husband go on a marriage retreat every year and Melissa’s advice for going on a retreat with your spouse

• How Melissa lives out the feminine genius in her daily life as a wife

Resources for you:

• Follow Melissa on Instagram

• Check out Melissa’s website

• Melissa’s (free!) 25 questions for better connections in your marriage

• 14 Day Marriage Connection Challenge (use the code LETTERS for 15% off!)

• Subscribe to Naptime Notes and get early, ad free access to all the Letters to Women episodes for just $5 a month

Discussion questions:

1. Have you been to marriage therapy? If yes, how has it impacted your marriage? If not, what are your thoughts on reaching out to a therapist after listening to this conversation with Melissa?
   

2. Have you believed the lie that your marriage “isn’t that bad” or the lie that your marriage is “beyond saving”? How do you think the Lord desires to speak truth over your relationship and sacrament?
   

3. Does your marriage have a support team? If not, what is the first step that you could take today to creating a community around your marriage to support and encourage you?
   

4. What are three questions you can ask your spouse on a date night or as you connect at the end of the day that can facilitate connection?

In this third episode of the Letters to Wives season, my guest is Kathryn Whitaker. She’s been married to her husband, Scott, for almost thirty years. We’re talking about the advice she wishes she would go back and give herself, how hard seasons have impacted her marriage, and what she’s looking forward to in her marriage as her kids all grow up and leave the house.

She’s also giving her advice on how to disagree with your spouse in a way that still honors them and your marriage, as well as when and how to reach out to a good marriage therapist for help healing your marriage.

So, if you’re looking for advice and encouragement when it comes to building a marriage that not only lasts, but is truly joyful, life-giving, and authentic, sister, this letter is for you.

Topics we cover:

• Kathryn’s story as a Catholic woman

• The advice Kathryn would give to herself at the beginning of her relationship

• How a 44 day NICU stay imploded Kathryn’s marriage and how she and Scott have found healing

• How to make time to connect with your spouse so you don’t wake up twenty years from now realizing you don’t know your spouse

• Knowing when you need the help of a marriage therapist and what to do if your spouse isn’t interested in therapy together

• Three ways to work through disagreements in a way that honors your spouse and your marriage together

• What Kathryn is looking forward to in this next season of her marriage as her kids head off to college

• How Kathryn lives out the feminine genius in her ordinary, daily life as a wife

Resources for you:

• Check out Kathryn’s book, Live Big, Love Bigger

• Visit Kathryn’s website

• Listen to Kathryn’s radio show and NICU support podcast

• Follow Kathryn on Instagram

• Subscribe to Naptime Notes and get early, ad free access to all the Letters to Women episodes for just $5 a month

Discussion questions:

1. As you reflect on your own marriage, what are some things about your spouse, yourself, and your marriage that you’ve learned along the way?
   

2. How can you make time to connect with your spouse if you’re in a busy season of life?
   

3. When you disagree with your husband, do you handle the conflict in a way that honors your spouse and your marriage? If not, what changes can you make the next time an argument arises?
   

4. What are you looking forward to in this current season of your marriage?

In this second episode of the Letters to Wives season, Rebekah Olson and I are talking about what it looks like to run a business with your spouse—and her business, Ginger and Peach, happens to be a model-free lingerie company that she started out of her one room bedroom apartment.

Now she and her husband run a team of seamstresses all sewing from their homes in the US - and they partner with an ethical manufacturer in Nepal to bring fresh starts and fulfilled lives to women living in the margins.

We’re talking about her company, her advice if you’re listening in and think that there’s no way you could ever be confident in lingerie, and she’s dismantling some of the lies that we believe about our bodies as wives.

So if you’ve a wife looking to ditch the comparison and embrace your true worth as wonderfully made and loved, this letter is for you.

Topics we cover:

• Rebekah’s story as a woman and a wife

• The origin story of Ginger & Peach Lingerie

• How Rebekah honors the dignity and beauty of each woman by running a model-free lingerie company

• Why you don’t actually need lingerie to heal your body image or to have a great marriage - and what DOES bring healing in your heart

• Body image as one of the very first issues women face after the fall and how Jesus brings relationship and redemption

• How Rebekah’s husband, Andrew, spoke the truth over her desire to start a business and inspired her to become a lingerie designer

• The lies that we believe as women when it comes to our bodies and shame

Resources for you:

• Explore Ginger & Peach collections on their website and use the code LETTERSTOWOMEN for 10% off any purchase

• Follow Ginger & Peach on Instagram

• Habits for a Sacred Home by Jennifer Pepito

• Subscribe to Naptime Notes and get early, ad free access to all the Letters to Women episodes for just $5 a month

  
  

  Discussion questions:

  1. Rebekah chose to have Ginger & Peach be a model free lingerie company to combat comparison. Do you struggle with comparing your body to other women around you (in real life and online)? What would it look like to live confidently as the woman God created you to be?
     

  2. You don’t need lingerie to heal your marriage, you need Jesus. What is one area of your marriage that you can invite the Lord into today?
     

  3. Rebekah shares about how Andrew spoke the truth about her gifts and helped point her towards the mission of Ginger & Peach. In your marriage, when has your husband spoken truth over you and revealed something about who you are to yourself?
     

  4. Do you believe that you are fearfully and wonderfully made? In what areas of your life have you believed the lies from the devil that say you are not loved, not good, and not created with purpose?
     

  5. Rebekah shared how she creates because she is made by God who is a creator. What are some ways you enjoy being creative — and if you can’t think of any, what creative pursuits could you make space for in your daily life?