Hey lifers,

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. This episode was recorded a week in advance as Britt is visiting Ben in Romania. Britt opens up about some of the challenges of long distance and what she’s really struggling with at the moment.

Britt has also called one of our listeners a loser. We deeply apologise YourGirlSidney

Do you think it’s okay to be in a relationship if you know that the person isn’t ‘the one’ (or end game) for you? How long is it okay to be ‘working’ this out? Does it depend on the age of the people in the relationship?

Vibes for the week:

Britt: Your Girl Sidney

Keeshia: Medusa Wispy Light Human Hair Fringe - Air Bangs- Clip In

Laura App Eat Club

Then we get into your questions!

HE WON’T GO DOWN ON ME & DOESN’T MAKE AN EFFORT TO PLEASURE ME
I'm 21 and my male partner is 23. We have been together for 3 years. Since we have been together he has only gone down on me maybe 3 times in total for about 20 seconds. I have brought this up with him and asked why he doesn't do it and he replies with "I don't like it sorry" which is totally fine but when we do have sex I never get anything out of it as he never really tries to pleasure me. We have tried sex toys but I think he gets awkward about it and then it never happens again. I talk to my friends about it but all they say is tell me that my relationship is not right and tell me about how good they have it. Sometimes I wonder what I am missing out on. Every other part of our relationship is amazing because he is an amazing human who I love so much. Am I missing out ? And if so what the hell do I do?

HE LIED ABOUT HAVING AN STI
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 7-8months. He asked me to help him with a work medical claim, he sent over a pack of documents for me to read to help him write a letter. Reading the documents it said he had herpes. When we first started dating I made sure we both had sexual health checks - he was pushing to have sex without a condom, something I’ve never done and didn’t feel comfortable doing without the STI checks prior. The tests came back with no issues flagged so we started having unprotected sex. 7 months later I read this document - he said initially that “he forgot,” then ended up telling me he lied to me because he thought I would break up with him if I knew. Additional context: his previous girlfriend gave him herpes and also didn’t tell him until 2 months into dating. I don’t know what to do - I thought this guy was my penguin, help!

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS WITH A COLLEAGUE
Should I enter a short term friends with benefits situation with a colleague that’s leaving at the end of the year even though I’m inexperienced and not sure how I’ll emotionally handle it? I think it could be a great idea for my overall satisfaction and self confidence, but I don't want to get rejected, or catch feelings and then get really sad when I’m rejected and/or he moves away. Is it worth the risk for good sex?

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Before being known as Danielle Laidley, she was a hugely successful AFL player and played 151 games for West Coast Eagles and North Melbourne football clubs, and winning premierships and going onto be the youngest senior coach ever at 36, coaching North Melbourne for 149 games across seven seasons from 2003 to 2009.

For decades, Danielle kept her gender to herself and threw herself into sporting success and became a workaholic. Eventually the pain of keeping this secret led to some dark coping mechanisms like substance abuse.

In May, 2020, a police officer took a photo of Danielle in an interview room at a St Kilda police station while wearing a wig and make-up. This photo was shared in a group chat before it was leaked to the media & the public.

Now, following her diagnosis with gender dysphoria, Danielle works extensively as an advocate for transgender people, raising awareness in a quest for acceptance of diversity.

In this chat we speak about:

• The different phases of Danielle's life & always knowing who she is
• Growing up in the hyper masculine environments of football and cricket
• How she coped with the public exposure of her transition before she had been able to speak with her family and friends about it
• How the football world has responded to Danielle's transition
• How parents can help support their kids who experience gender dysphoria
• Her beautiful relationship with a woman she's known since grade 1
• Danielle's perspective on transpeople in sport

You can find Danielle's Instagram and book - Don't look away

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Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx

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Hey lifers,
Keeshia is in the hot seat filling in Britt while she's in Romania.
Have you ever accidentally done something illegal? Laura's renovation project has made Keeshia realise that she's been accidentally shoplifting for over a decade.

Do you ever lie or withhold information from your partner? Do you hide packages or lie about new items that you've bought and say that you've had them forever? There's a tiktok from Thewestcoastmama that has us questioning what's normal and who is in the wrong.

Today we take a deep dive on what friendship means to us and whether we're too quick to deprioritise friendship when other responsibilities rear their heads.
We spoke about Simon Sinek and his conversation on the Prof G Podcast and his Youtube with Trevor Noah

What are you currently looking for in friendship?
Has that shifted over the years as your life has gone through different chapters?
Is there too much pressure to maintain friendships when there are all of these other things that we are trying to do well?

92% of you have experienced a friendship breakup.

Most of you think about the breakdown of a friendship more than the breakdown of a romantic relationship.

We speak about our own experiences of friendship breakdowns and whether we would ever be able to reestablish those friendships.

You can watch us on Youtube

Find us on Instagram

Join us on tiktok

Or join the Facebook Discussion Group

Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.