If you know about my journey to motherhood, how it was clouded by loss, seasoned with tears, and suffocated by moments of hopelessness, then you can only imagine the intensity of my joy when our daughter was born. That intensity often comes into play in my relationship with her now as she grows into a little person.Like so many mothers, I want to smother her with my love, to shield and protect her from this world, and to give her everything her heart desires because she is my heart’s desire. But her life doesn’t exist merely as a fulfillment of my hopes and dreams.Her life doesn’t exist merely as a fulfillment of my hopes and dreams.She is a person with her own purpose, developing thoughts, hopes, dreams, and validity— kid or not. I have to be careful that our relationship doesn’t become too me-centered. She should be just as much a part of our relationship as I am. She should be heard, seen, and guided, not smothered and spoiled.This week, as we close out the month of love, I am reflecting on what it means to show up with love as a mother.xo, m.The Self Love Letter Love, Maaden is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber."Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." — Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)Sarah Jakes Roberts described parenting in her first book, Lost & Found, as being a foster parent to this being who is, in actuality, God’s child. That’s so well stated. While our children are in our custody and care, they really do belong to God. It’s God’s purpose, protection, and plan that rules their lives, not ours.Still, we have a supremely important role in the lives of our children. While we can’t or shouldn’t live their lives for them, we do have a vital responsibility as their parents to “start children off on the way they should go”. Here are some ideas on how:Guide. On a trail, a guide is someone who has traveled the path before and can advise us on which way to go and the best route to take. Our role in "starting children off on the way they should go" requires us to be their guide. Proverbs 13:24 states, "The one who loves their children is careful to discipline them." It's our responsibility to teach right from wrong, provide structure and accountability, and correct them when they go off course.Support. Be your kids’ cheerleader. Just like in a marathon, the support you have on the sidelines can determine how far you go. Be careful that the energy you put into correcting and rebuking your child doesn’t overshadow the energy you expend to affirm, validate, and support them. Scream it at top of your lungs — value their ideas, show enthusiasm for their interests, and dedicate your time and attention to them.Model. Guiding them down this path means showing them the way. Be conscious not just of how you speak to and interact with your children, but also of how you speak about them, how you treat others, and how you talk about yourself. Demonstrate the respect that you expect, and the patience that you require. Be kind, be generous, be open to learn. They're always watching.I am grateful that God has chosen my husband and I to start our little one off on the way that she should go, and I trust that He will keep her the rest of the way!For the last nine months, I've been co-producing the Mamas In Waiting Retreat with my friend and founder, Erica Williams Simon, and it’s absolutely what I’m loving. This retreat was born from our shared experience of unexpectedly challenging journeys to motherhood, and we’ve designed it to offer what we wished we had during that time. And let me tell you, it's going to be amazing.I'm personally inviting you to attend if you're a mama-in-waiting, or to encourage someone you know to join us even if you're not. Being a mama-in-waiting isn't just about struggling to conceive; it includes so much more:* It's for the woman who has experienced the loss of a newborn, pregnancy, or pregnancies (1 in 4).* It's for the woman who has a child and is struggling to have another (1 in 10).* It's for the woman considering adoption after infertility (1 in 20).* It's for the woman who dreams of being a mother one day but doesn't see a clear path yet.* It's for the woman who feels like she's giving up or has given up on her desire.This retreat is for every one of those women and more. And it's not about "getting pregnant," giving advice, or offering encouragement. It's about creating a space for sharing, processing, and allowing ourselves to be loved and cared for amidst our unhealed grief and unanswered prayers. It will be luxurious, restorative, and nourishing. And I can hardly wait.Also, in the spirit of Love & Motherhood, I am loving the Family Connection Kit (available now in in my shop, Love Goods Co.) Our family uses the card deck during the week at dinnertime, and it has allowed us to practice vulnerabilty and ...
