2024 hasn’t been a red letter year for the human race. War, polarization, and despair are all on the rise, and 2025 isn’t exactly set up for success. Fortunately, entertainment continues to be the number one doctor recommended band aid for your all consuming existential dread, and the past year has been generous with the quantity, if not necessarily the quality, of distraction. 2024 saw the rise of Glen Powell and Sydney Sweeney into stardom, the passing of a few Hollywood legends like James Earl Jones and Donald Sutherland, the explosion of AI, and the comic book movie remains in a cruel, agonizing state of artificially prolonged life as studios continue to invest and lose money in the dying genre in hopes of reviving its glory days. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the news and choices, however, let the Magellans at the Movies sort it out for you into a few convenient lists of the best and worst of 2024! Happy new year and let’s get it started with a bang!

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As 2024 breathes its last, wintry breaths and minds turn towards all the resolutions that need prompt breaking, let us take a moment to draw near to loved ones, be they romantic or platonic, and reflect on the rock upon which the Hallmark church has been built. What is it to love? What virtue is there in affection? What does it demand of us? Think on these questions and deepen your understanding of what the Greeks referred to as agápē, érōs, philía, philautía, storgē, and xenía. If that all sounds too hard, however, just pop Love Actually in and call it a day. While less enlightening than an in-depth philosophical journey, the watching of Richard Curtis’ 2003 holiday rom-com is by far the more popular option, and it’s not hard to see why. Love Actually hails from a different era of film, when cinema was more sincere and postmodernist irony was only just beginning to rise from its infernal cradle. High art it is not, but it’s the kind of undemanding, sugary treat that greets life optimistically and with a corny joke or two- aaaaand Elliot’s out. I jest, of course, no one yet knows what the moviegoing Magellans think of this movie, but that’s all about to change on today’s new episode! If you want to use the podcast as cover while you declare your love to your best friend’s wife, we won’t judge you (much), but make sure you rewind to the start and listen to the whole thing after you’ve finished betraying your buddy’s trust. Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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Everyone knows that zombies aren’t what they used to be. If anything, a decaying, shambolic corpse is probably the perfect metaphor for the genre as it exists right now: decrepit, feeble, and limping slowly towards nowhere in particular. There was a time, however, when zombie fiction was almost as popular as movie westerns were in their day, and that time, of course, was the early 2000s, inarguably the worst period of culture since the 1510s (your poetry sucks, Henry VIII). That’s not necessarily to say that zombie media was a reason for that decade’s irritating obsession with film grain and infuriating hatred for colors that are not gray, but it may go some way towards explaining why, as aesthetic tastes shifted, certain genres like comic book films or crime fiction survived the jump while zombies did not. Zombie stories, after all, are pretty gray, grainy affairs that aren’t built for much tonal variation, with the notable exception of Shaun of the Dead, a horror-comedy zombie flick directed by Edgar Wright. Shaun of the Dead is remembered fondly by many viewers for its humorous take on the walking dead, but how fondly will Nathan and Elliot look on it? That, my friend, is the question we set out to answer today on our brand new episode. Grab a pint, throw on your headphones, and wait for this whole thing to blow over with the soothing tones of your favorite hosts. Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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TBD

Power, oh man don’t you wish you just had some? Power, in whatever form be it political, cultural, or laser eyes, gives you access to neat stuff like respect, authority, and cheat codes to the legal system. Even in lower stakes arenas like the professional music scene power can unlock lots of doors for you, many of them leading to places of murky ethics. I’m not just talking about forcing your orchestra to play the alphabet song for laughs, though, I’m referring to far more serious misdeeds like forming inappropriate relationships and handing out favors to your allies. That, at least, is how the eponymous conductor of Tár, Todd Field’s 2022 psychological drama, chooses to wield her influence. Tár is one of those movies that got rave reviews from critics, a strong response from audiences, and decent results at the box office before winning an award or two and settling in for the long descent into obscurity. Before the film is forgotten, however, it will be brought before the Magellans at the Movies for its final analysis. Don’t feel the need to enter into a questionable relationship with us if you want to be a part of it, though, just press the play button and then afterwards maybe we can have lunch and talk about your future here? Just think it over, there’s a lot of benefits to being in our good graces, you know. Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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Everyone needs friends to get through life, that’s why I’m so miserable all the time. Friends lift us up when we’re low and congratulate us when we’re high (or give us a ride home). Fickle friends, best friends, old friends, new friends, the varieties of companions are endless, but what happens when one of those friends decides to dissolve their partnership and go their separate ways to the great confusion and dismay of the other party? Why, then you would have most of the plot of The Banshees of Inisherin, a 2022 darkly comedic drama directed by Martin McDonagh. Banshees was a critical darling and serious Oscar contender in its day, but we all know the Academy Awards are small potatoes these days, the real prestige comes from earning a strong review from Magellans at the Movies. Has this bleak tale of lonely hearts and petty strife earned itself just such acclaim? Well just shush-like and start the episode to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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If you like dysentery, the old west is for you. If you like filth, the old west is for you. If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to live utterly at the mercy of the elements and corrupt lawmen while you work your tenant field of sorghum for two cents a day that you can spend on bathtub whiskey at the local saloon, then your only option is to somehow travel back in time to live in the old west. Or move to Texas. For the rest of us, however, we’re generally content to see all that unpleasantness from afar on the silver screen, which is why they make so many movies about the American frontier, but none quite like Bone Tomahawk, a 2015 western/horror directed by S. Craig Zahler. This gritty genre blend wasn’t much commercially, but garnered plenty of praise critically, which meant that it was only a matter of time before western fan Elliot watched and subsequently forced his brother to do the same. Now that both brothers have taken it in, what do they think? The only way to find out is by starting the episode, so before you amputate your gangrenous leg, maybe take the edge off with an exciting new installment of Magellans at the Movies!

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There truly is nothing like crime to bring a family together. Why are criminal organizations organized by families? Why do family businesses that get big also commit massive fraud? The answer is obvious: taking stuff that doesn’t belong to you is just the spit shine that your fraying familial ties are in need of. After all, it’s by embezzling listener donations that Elliot and Nathan fund their wild weekends in Vegas, and thereby foster the close sibling bond that makes this program what it is. Don’t just take my word for it, though, take it from the true intellectuals of modern society: movie directors! Specifically, director Hirokazu Koreeda’s 2018 family drama Shoplifters. This is one of those movies that people effusively praise at parties in lieu of developing a personality, and which of our favorite hosts will be effusively praising the film, I wonder? Only one way to find out, so grab that pomegranate and make a beeline for the exit so you can listen to the episode in the comfort of your own home rather than the cold austerity of a jail cell.

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