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Don't eat the Pizza. That's the advice from a buddy of mine. He likes to regularly share that advice when the topic comes around to corporate culture and work-life balance.  Ten months of working from home and the internet is busy debating the idea of work-life balance or life-work balance; you get the idea. I have to admit that I've always had difficulty with that phrase and even the thought of it. 

Once upon a time - Time management was King. It was a silver bullet. Merely manage your time correctly, and you'll be more productive. You'll finally be able to spend quality time with your family or start that hobby you've been putting off. 

Emotional Intelligence expert Daniel Goleman in his latest book Focus shares some excellent insight into this internal dilemma.

Emotional intelligence begins with self-awareness—getting in touch with your inner voice.

"Cognitive control" is the scientific term for putting one's attention where one wants it and keeping it there in the face of temptation to wander. 

Practically every form of focus can be strengthened. What it takes is not talent so much as application.

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It's on its way - the count down to Christmas - and the New Year - that time when we traditionally make some new resolutions - resolutions to change our lives - but research show that eight out of ten of us will fail to achieve those resolutions and we will go on as we were.

If it were about resolving to exercise more, give up your favourite treat or learn a new language then you can appreciate that failure is almost too strong a word for it and as that research shows 80% of us go back to what's comfortable and familiar. 

But this year I think it's different - we have all in one way or another put in a tough year - more challenging for some more than others - and it's not a competition -but few have had it easy. When we go through somethings a problematic as the pandemic undoubtedly has been, we are presented with an opportunity - maybe even a reward for the stress and uncertainty we've experienced.

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One more Zoom or teams call and once again someone on the call has to be reminded that they are on mute. It's one of the bear traps of the online communications world we now inhabit. 

On a recent call, I was intrigued to see a contributor chatting away on mute, and it seemed nobody was going to tell them - for an experiment I held back from being the one to say it - just how long would it be before someone said something. 

You join a video conference call. You're one of twenty faces on the screen. About halfway into the call, your mind starts to wander, and you realize you have no idea what the last person just said. 

But good old scient has an explanation...

In 1913, Max Ringelmann, a French architectural engineer, made a discovery that actually explains why virtual meetings are often so unsuccessful. 

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Once upon a time, not too far from where I am sitting, there was a Bronze age settlement.  Nearly 3,000 years ago - people came together in sophisticated groups and shared skills and labour to survive. Powerful families and groups were in constant competition with each other vying for power, and what most of these potential leaders offered was safety.  

If you were pitching for a leadership position back then, you were most likely offering physical strength, cunning and access to allies and resources. And so long as you delivered - you got to keep your position.  

Instead of our managers, leaders and CEO's keeping us safe from marauding tribes, we look instead for leaders that promise us psychological safety.

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As more and more people are facing a forced change of career, change of working environment or even early retirement what can we do to get back in touch with our "purpose in life" and will it come from our job?

This weekend I'm joined by a special guest, Brian McIvor. Brian has been involved in training and development since 1978. He specialises in career and personal development and is also involved as a producer of multimedia material for training for over 40 years; he's an author and coach, loves his music and he's always good for a good chat on our shared topics of interest. 

Brian's website is https://www.brianmcivor.com/

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This episode is not the one I set out to do.  At first, I was going to write a letter to all the bullies I've met along the way. Give them a piece of my mind and share the wisdom of hindsight - say the things I wish I had said at the time when they made me feel crap.  And then I thought f*ck it- No!

These men and women may have rationalised their behaviour in their own minds and put it down to being tough, hard players in the business or media world. To not being weak, soft or nice.

The real culprits that should get our focus are their permission givers - the people who managed the bullies, who permitted them to behave in the way they do.

It's not and never was invisible - someone somewhere knows that a person responsible for others is acting intolerably.

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