Star Wars Loose Canon

By: Nick Oswald Chris Higgins Patrick Ebersole Alex Lowe
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  • Summary

  • Why aren’t droids allowed in Mos Eisley Cantina? How does hyperspace travel work? What’s so special about Endor? The Star Wars Loose Canon podcast answers these questions and many more. We’re just three dudes with a breadth of Star Wars knowledge and severe penchants for snark. Come for the bad puns, stay for the petulant Emperor impressions.
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Art Comedy & Humour
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Episodes
  • The Kenobi Timeline Part 2 with the Brothers Krynn

    The Kenobi Timeline Part 2 with the Brothers Krynn
    Nov 1 2024
    The Brothers Krynn come back on the pod to share part 2 of their fan fiction idea, The Kenobi Timeline. Inspired by the Legends novel, Secrets of the Jedi, the story follows the what-if scenario of Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan's lover, Siri secretly having a child. From there events unfold unexpectedly, especially with lesser-known companions of Anakin and Obi-Wan who are the focus of the narrative. Each of these characters has a fully fleshed-out backstory with motivations that weave into but never contradict the events of the Prequels. Want more energy and essential vitamins for your day but want to limit your caffeine intake? Visit https://magicmind.com/starwars now to get up to 48% off your first subscription or 20% off a one-time purchase with code STARWARS20 at checkout. As you listen along, you can refer to the character glossary provided by the Brothers Krynn: Tahlon Kenobi: son of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Siri Tachi (Kenobi), Wields a double-sided Blue lightsaber, his style is Form IV (Ataru variant) Talanis Salazzar: Mandalorian warrior woman, 5 years older than Tahlon. Number one Mandalorian bounty-hunter after Jango Fett Darael Feran: Trandoshan Jedi Master, Wields double-sided Green lightsaber, his style is Form III (Soresu variant), Melirah Stardust’s master before leaving the order to join the Jedi, who chose to leave to work with Dooku in the CIS Melirah Stardust: A young Jedi, same age as Anakini with Red hair, born on Tattooine to a Moisture Farmer, she is hot-headed, yet dreams of being a healer. She was Darael Feran’s padawan. She is the most gifted seer of her generation. Her style is Form VI (Jar’Kai) (Form IV Ataru Variant) Her right-handed lightsaber is yellow, her left-handed one is blue Mi’kraan Darklighter: A young Jedi, born on the same day, same hour as Melirah, though the two are not related, they share a bond with each other. She is tall and blonde haired, statuesque, the more beautiful of the two. A gentle soul who specializes in diplomacy and teaching younglings. She dislikes violence in all its forms, and has requested to resign her military position, but has been refused. A favourite of Yoda. Her style is Form VI (Jar’Kai) (Form III Soresu variant) Her right-hand lightsaber is Green, her left-hand is Yellow Fergus Feld: One year older than Anakin, a personality like Sturm Brightblade (Dragonlance), is fanatically loyal to the order, and a good friend of Tahlon. He does not trust Anakin and thinks he will turn to the darkside, and in extension dislikes Obi-Wan, a favourite of Yoda, who was abused by his master, Yaduu. His lightsaber style is Form V, and Form VII (Shien/Djem-So and Juyo) his lightsaber colour is blue Grrwyan: A wookie Jedi Tahlon grew up with. He dislikes Tahlon. His style is Form V (Shien/Djem-So) His lightsaber colour is Blue Ivec’leba: A twi'lek initiate Tahlon grew up with, she was sold into slavery, and liberated by Millennia Far’lin. She dies in Tahlon’s arms when he is an initiate Jedi Master Chirus: A half-Blind Solustan jedi, who exposed his previous padawan’s affair with another jedi, which led her to commit suicide, which traumatized. He later becomes Tahlon’s master, and is three years older than Dooku. He dies on Geonosis. His apprentice was a young woman by the name of Yasmina Shen. Her former lover fled with her child to the outer rim, and founded a Jedi cult which her widow and son will end up fighting in the clone wars on the side of the Republic, as Chirus made peace with him three years before he died. Chirus’ style is Form VI (Niiman) His colour is Green. Millennia Farland: The daughter of a deceased freedom fighter of Ryloth, Millennia picked up his torch and his movement to liberate all the Twi’leks from the Hutts and the Exchange, she has since become the Senator of Renkloth. (We set the planet in the neighbouring star system next to Ryloth.) She is a firebrand, who is friends of Tahlon, hates the Hutts and consistently pushes for Republican interference in twi’lek affairs, and has become disillusioned with the Senate. She is also given a military commission for the Grand Army of the Republic. Alpha Squad: Tahlon’s personal Commando unit. They consist of RC-1515 “Quinze” (Leader), RC-9888 “Zuko” (Demolitions), RC-0109 “Nate” (Weapons) and RC-2898 “Wyatt” (Tech Specialist) RC-1515 “Quinze”: The leader of Alpha Squad, he has a sardonic sense of humour, similar to that of Qui-Gon Jinn. He is also strict, and at times inflexible, and is very shy around beautiful women. He is force sensitive. RC-9888 “Zuko”: The Demolitions expert of Alpha Squad, he is argumentative, severe, who complains a lot, and has a bit of a temper. He is always arguing and fighting with Nate, and yet the two consider each other almost twins. RC-0109 “Nate”: The weapons expert: He is chatty, gabby, cheerful and friendly. Nate loves heavy-grade weaponry. He considers his voice a gift from the force. He also loves show ...
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    1 hr and 40 mins
  • JOIN THE EMPIRE

    JOIN THE EMPIRE
    Oct 10 2024

    Your planet has just been invaded ahem liberated by the Empire and you now have the option to join their army or face the consequences. What will you do? The answer is simple. You will join the Empire to bring peace, order, and justice to the galaxy!

    Want more energy and essential vitamins for your day but want to limit your caffeine intake? Visit https://magicmind.com/starwars now to get up to 48% off your first subscription or 20% off a one-time purchase with code STARWARS20 at checkout.
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 1 min
  • The Kenobi Timeline Pt. 1 with The Brothers Krynn

    The Kenobi Timeline Pt. 1 with The Brothers Krynn
    Sep 26 2024
    The Brothers Krynn come back on the pod to share their fan fiction idea, The Kenobi Timeline. Inspired by the Legends novel, Secrets of the Jedi, the story follows the what-if scenario of Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan's lover, Siri secretly having a child. From there events unfold unexpectedly, especially with lesser-known companions of Anakin and Obi-Wan who are the focus of the narrative. Each of these characters has a fully fleshed-out backstory with motivations that weave into but never contradict the events of the Prequels. As you listen along, you can refer to the character glossary provided by the Brothers Krynn: Tahlon Kenobi: son of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Siri Tachi (Kenobi), Wields a double-sided Blue lightsaber, his style is Form IV (Ataru variant) Talanis Salazzar: Mandalorian warrior woman, 5 years older than Tahlon. Number one Mandalorian bounty-hunter after Jango Fett Darael Feran: Trandoshan Jedi Master, Wields double-sided Green lightsaber, his style is Form III (Soresu variant), Melirah Stardust’s master before leaving the order to join the Jedi, who chose to leave to work with Dooku in the CIS Melirah Stardust: A young Jedi, same age as Anakini with Red hair, born on Tattooine to a Moisture Farmer, she is hot-headed, yet dreams of being a healer. She was Darael Feran’s padawan. She is the most gifted seer of her generation. Her style is Form VI (Jar’Kai) (Form IV Ataru Variant) Her right-handed lightsaber is yellow, her left-handed one is blue Mi’kraan Darklighter: A young Jedi, born on the same day, same hour as Melirah, though the two are not related, they share a bond with each other. She is tall and blonde haired, statuesque, the more beautiful of the two. A gentle soul who specializes in diplomacy and teaching younglings. She dislikes violence in all its forms, and has requested to resign her military position, but has been refused. A favourite of Yoda. Her style is Form VI (Jar’Kai) (Form III Soresu variant) Her right-hand lightsaber is Green, her left-hand is Yellow Fergus Feld: One year older than Anakin, a personality like Sturm Brightblade (Dragonlance), is fanatically loyal to the order, and a good friend of Tahlon. He does not trust Anakin and thinks he will turn to the darkside, and in extension dislikes Obi-Wan, a favourite of Yoda, who was abused by his master, Yaduu. His lightsaber style is Form V, and Form VII (Shien/Djem-So and Juyo) his lightsaber colour is blue Grrwyan: A wookie Jedi Tahlon grew up with. He dislikes Tahlon. His style is Form V (Shien/Djem-So) His lightsaber colour is Blue Ivec’leba: A twi'lek initiate Tahlon grew up with, she was sold into slavery, and liberated by Millennia Far’lin. She dies in Tahlon’s arms when he is an initiate Jedi Master Chirus: A half-Blind Solustan jedi, who exposed his previous padawan’s affair with another jedi, which led her to commit suicide, which traumatized. He later becomes Tahlon’s master, and is three years older than Dooku. He dies on Geonosis. His apprentice was a young woman by the name of Yasmina Shen. Her former lover fled with her child to the outer rim, and founded a Jedi cult which her widow and son will end up fighting in the clone wars on the side of the Republic, as Chirus made peace with him three years before he died. Chirus’ style is Form VI (Niiman) His colour is Green. Millennia Farland: The daughter of a deceased freedom fighter of Ryloth, Millennia picked up his torch and his movement to liberate all the Twi’leks from the Hutts and the Exchange, she has since become the Senator of Renkloth. (We set the planet in the neighbouring star system next to Ryloth.) She is a firebrand, who is friends of Tahlon, hates the Hutts and consistently pushes for Republican interference in twi’lek affairs, and has become disillusioned with the Senate. She is also given a military commission for the Grand Army of the Republic. Alpha Squad: Tahlon’s personal Commando unit. They consist of RC-1515 “Quinze” (Leader), RC-9888 “Zuko” (Demolitions), RC-0109 “Nate” (Weapons) and RC-2898 “Wyatt” (Tech Specialist) RC-1515 “Quinze”: The leader of Alpha Squad, he has a sardonic sense of humour, similar to that of Qui-Gon Jinn. He is also strict, and at times inflexible, and is very shy around beautiful women. He is force sensitive. RC-9888 “Zuko”: The Demolitions expert of Alpha Squad, he is argumentative, severe, who complains a lot, and has a bit of a temper. He is always arguing and fighting with Nate, and yet the two consider each other almost twins. RC-0109 “Nate”: The weapons expert: He is chatty, gabby, cheerful and friendly. Nate loves heavy-grade weaponry. He considers his voice a gift from the force. He also loves show tunes and pretty women. RC-2898 “Wyatt”: The Tech specialist, he is sarcastic, a little vain about his appearance, he has a superiority complex in regards to his IQ, and is the quiet member of the team, even as he considers himself a connoisseur of ...
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    1 hr and 44 mins

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