Who today can claim to be without character flaws, even serious ones. The key question is what we learn from our failures. Do we deny and obfuscate, or do we face reality and achieve incredible ego-negation and purity of focus.

King David had every reason to be bitter, and yet, he managed to see that everything happened for a purpose. With purity of heart, he kept his focus and wasn't bogged down by endless baggage.

Jonathan, King Saul's son, and archrival, King David, made an unlikely pair. In a world of my way or the highway, we'd do well to see how these two great men who were represented two very different paths, supported and loved each other.

Life's ups and downs can be confusing. At times, we seem unable to maintain our equilibrium. It's almost as if we become a different person when we're challenged by others, or just have a rough day. But King David was able to keep his head in the most fluid and dangerous situations.

The key to David's peace of mind was his humility and complete lack of ego --- all based on his pure faith in his Father in Heaven.

David and Goliath: David’s career as Hashem’s warrior is the perfect blend of action and faith. Some sit back and watch Hashem perform miracles, while others act and believe they get the credit. David, on the other hand, acts and at the same time knows that he is but a vessel for the Divine plan. It’s one thing to sit back and appreciate that Hashem runs the world. However, the successful businessman and the mighty warrior have a hard time not seeing themselves as the source of their own successes. Not so David. And as a result, he is the most courageous of men. David fears no one; if it is time to act, he doesn’t allow anything to stand in his way, dissuade, or frighten him. After all, who is it that’s acting, he, or Hashem?  

Some people are born with presence. They command the room. Others, carefully cultivate the persona, skills or knowledge that makes them the most obviously impressive person in the room. The best dressed person, the body builder, sports star, business or political leader, mostly get to where they are by virtue of their being “a somebody".

But when the prophet Shmuel fails to identify David from amongst his brothers as worthy of kingship, Hashem tells Shmuel “Man sees the eyes but Hashem sees the heart”. David’s brothers looked impressive, fooling the prophet Shmuel, David, on the other hand, didn’t look impressive at all. He had no persona that he’d carefully cultivated to present to the world. Instead, David’s heart was full of faith in and yearning towards his Creator. His heart was pure. And more than anything else, it is this pure-hearted relationship with his Creator that led to David’s displays of warrior-like strength, and made him king-worthy.

Some leaders are full of strength, brains, and charisma. Not so David. David was empty. Empty of ego, self-interest, opinions, stubbornness, he was free to present himself fully to the task at hand, namely, representing the kingship of the Almighty here on this earth. What was special about David? The fact that you could pass him by and not even notice he was there. But the moment he was needed, when Saul asked him to step into his (Saul’s) armor to fight Goliath, David steps right up to the task, and grows three feet taller, fitting right into the kingly suit of armor. This shocks Saul, who is this lad, he asks his advisors, is he worthy of kingship?

Back to Ego, again, but doesn't that define life?

Rabbi explores the next step in the Judah/King David journey, wondering why it is that Yaakov entrusts Benjamin with Yehuda and not Ruben?

Responsibility is the foundation for leadership.

What makes Judah the most trustworthy son of his father Jacob?

It is because he submits his entire being under that responsibility, he becomes the vessel to succeed in the mission he’s entrusted with because he negates himself so powerfully.

Jacob can’t bring himself to trust Ruben with the dangerous and consequential mission, as he is worried that Ruben will mix himself into the picture, and fail to bring his entire self to bear on the problems that the Egyptians will surely throw their way.

Under fire, fears of failure, even legitimate ones, will hinder one's ability to focus everything they’ve got, and under fire you’d better have access to all your strength and focus.

Juda, with no self in the picture, is able to decide exactly when to push Yaakov to part with Benjamin. He isn’t rash. He has no need to act if it won’t be 100% useful, and so he waits, patiently, for the perfect opportunity, and he gets one when the food supplies run dry.

Mr. Biker is impatient, for all the talk about King David, Rabbi insists on focusing first on David's ancestor Yehuda.

Why?

Rabbi explains how Yehuda's life illustrates that admitting weakness as a form of strength

Humility = Strength. Ego is the enemy, and getting ourselves out of our own way is the David/Yehuda way to incredible success/Kingship.

When we uphold the image of our successful self, we can take the high road of Yosef, but sometimes the best and most powerful path forward is to admit that we are in fact powerless

With no skin in the game we are able to humbly submit before Hashem and allow Him to lead us to great success that only He knows us to be capable of.

Millions have found strength and powerful inspiration from the various twelve step programs. Step # 3, which is the crux of the program reads as follows: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of G-d…” There’s incredible power in the raw honest living that comes with genuine ego negation.