The Empathy Node Podcast

By: Compassion is Parallel Processing
  • Summary

  • Thoughtful stories and insights on how compassion, understanding, and emotional resonance connect individuals across diverse experiences. Join us and discover the hidden currents that bind our shared humanity.

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Episodes
  • Weight of a Digital Photo
    Dec 29 2024
    What if a single story could inspire you to see the world in a radically new way? Subscribe for free to The Empathy Node, and explore a weekly narrative that might just spark your next big insight.The flash still stings behind my eyes, even now, just the ghost of it. Smile, they’d said, and I did, a practiced thing, a reflex I didn’t even feel. But the picture. That’s what lingers. That’s the ache, all these years later. The blue shirt… thick cotton clinging where it shouldn’t, bunching in places it had no right to be. I remember pulling at it, just before the click, a useless, frantic tug at the fabric of a reality I hadn’t fully grasped until that frozen moment.Looking at it then, right after, my breath hitched. Not a gasp of surprise, more like a stalled engine. A low, guttural no that stayed trapped in my chest. That wasn’t me. Or, no, that was me, and the seeing of it, like catching your reflection in a dark window and not recognizing the weary stranger staring back, it landed with a sickening thud. The curve of my cheek, somehow rounder, softer, less defined. The way the light caught… everything, unflatteringly. I felt hot, a flush creeping up my neck, a wave of self-consciousness so potent I could almost taste it – metallic, bitter. My partner’s arm around me, meant to be comforting, looked… encompassing. The dog, oblivious, a happy blur of fur and wagging tail, the only truly carefree thing in that frame.Later, much later, tucked away on my phone, that picture became a recurring nightmare. I'd scroll through photos, searching for something else, something brighter, and there it would be, a digital ghost haunting my memories. Each time, the same internal cringe, the same whisper of shame. How did I let this happen? It wasn’t just vanity, though that was there, a prickly, unwelcome guest. It was a deeper disconnect. Like my outer shell had become a stranger, heavy and unfamiliar, no longer aligning with the person I felt I was inside.New Year. The clinking glasses, the forced optimism hanging in the air like cheap tinsel. Resolutions. A hollow word, usually. But that year… that year the blue shirt spoke. It screamed. It was a visual indictment, a silent accusation leveled by my own captured image. Change, it seemed to hiss. You have to change.The weeks that followed were a blur of frantic activity, a desperate lunge for control. Juice cleanses that left me weak and irritable. Paleo promises that crumbled under the weight of late-night cravings. Every failed attempt, every rebound, fueled a simmering frustration, a sense of being trapped in this fleshy prison. The picture watched, a silent judge on my phone screen. I'd look at it, that past self, and a bitter voice would whisper, See? You can’t.Then, Keto. Another diet, another promise. But this time, something clicked. Not instantly, not easily. There were still battles, internal arguments with the voice that craved sugar, that insisted on comfort carbs. But slowly, almost imperceptibly at first, things began to shift. The fog in my head lifted. The constant, nagging fatigue began to recede. The numbers on the scale, initially resistant, started to budge. Each pound felt like a small victory, a tiny rebellion against that blue shirt, against the me it represented.Looking at that photo now… Eight years. Fifty pounds. It’s strange. The initial shock is gone, replaced by a complex swirl of emotions. A pang of sympathy for that woman in the blue shirt, so unaware of the journey ahead, so burdened by a weight she didn’t yet know how to shed. A surge of pride, fierce and quiet, for the persistence, the stubborn refusal to stay still. And something else… a gentle understanding.It wasn’t about the weight, not really. The blue shirt was just a marker, a visible manifestation of a deeper unease. It was about feeling disconnected, about letting self-care slip, about losing sight of the person I wanted to be. The weight was a symptom, not the disease. And in shedding it, I shed something else too – a layer of self-doubt, a coating of resignation.The light in that old picture is harsh, unforgiving. But the light I see now, reflecting back from the screen, is different. It’s softer, kinder. It acknowledges the struggle, the long, winding path. It sees not just the physical transformation, but the internal one – the quiet strengthening of will, the growing sense of self-compassion. The me in that picture… she’s a reminder. Not of failure, but of the power of a single moment, a stark realization, to set in motion a cascade of change. That blue echo… it still resonates, but now it whispers not of shame, but of resilience. It whispers of a journey taken, mile by hard-won mile, towards a brighter, lighter space within. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit empathynode.substack.com
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    9 mins
  • Cilantro Spaghetti Is Enough
    Dec 24 2024
    The steam curls up, carrying the bright, grassy scent of cilantro. It's almost… defiant, this smell. It’s not the rich, smoky perfume that usually blankets my kitchen on Christmas Eve. Not the sweet tang of peach glaze, or the deeper, woodsy notes of a bird slowly yielding to smoke. My fingers still remember the heft of those turkeys, the methodical basting, the almost ritualistic dance around the oven. Six, sometimes eight courses, each a carefully considered note in a symphony of flavor. That was… then.Now, the stainless steel pot feels lighter, the wooden spoon stirring a familiar but different rhythm. Just spaghetti. Cilantro spaghetti. My stomach clenches a little, a familiar knot of anxiety tightening. This city feels vast, indifferent. Just me, the kids, and now his small, earnest face at my table. My sobrino. Another plate, another chair, another worry folded into the already too-tight corners of my mind.The clatter of forks is a small, sharp sound in the quiet apartment. I watch them eat, each strand of green-flecked pasta disappearing with surprising speed. Are they… happy? Their faces are turned down, focused on their plates. I search for a flicker of disappointment, a shadow of comparison to the Christmases past. The ones filled with crisp skin and gravy boats, with jewel-toned vegetables and the hushed reverence that accompanied the unveiling of each dish.Then, his voice, small and clear. “I’m done with my spaghetti. Can I have what is next?”A wave of something hot and sharp washes over me. Shame? Embarrassment? It claws at my throat, stealing my breath for a moment. The carefully constructed facade of normalcy feels like it’s about to crumble. My carefully rehearsed, cheerful mask feels thin, translucent. The words catch in my throat, tasting like ash.“We… we only have spaghetti tonight.” The confession hangs in the air, heavy and exposed. I brace myself for the inevitable letdown, the polite but thinly veiled disappointment I’ve anticipated since the first pang of financial worry tightened its grip.But then… nothing. A pause, a flicker of surprise in his young eyes, and then… a shrug. A tiny, almost imperceptible lift of his shoulders. He looks back down at his empty plate, then up at me again, a small smile playing on his lips. “It was really good spaghetti.”And then, a chorus. “Yeah, it’s yummy!” “Can I have some more?” “This is my favorite kind!”A strange warmth begins to bloom in my chest, pushing back against the cold knot of anxiety. It’s unexpected, this lightness. Like a sunbeam breaking through a cloudy sky. I watch their faces, really see them, not through the filter of my own perceived inadequacy, but as they are. Present. Content. Enjoying the simple, slightly tangy flavor of cilantro and garlic.My mind races, trying to reconcile this reality with the ingrained belief that Christmas, real Christmas, meant abundance. Elaborate feasts. Effortless extravagance. The ghosts of past celebrations whisper in my ears, the clinking of champagne flutes, the murmur of appreciative voices. Those memories feel suddenly distant, like looking at a photograph of someone else’s life.A warmth spreads through me, not just in my chest, but down to my fingertips, a gentle thawing. It’s the warmth of connection, of shared experience. They aren’t comparing, aren’t judging. They’re simply… here. With me. Eating spaghetti. And they are happy.A tear pricks at the corner of my eye, not from sadness, but from a startling sense of release. It’s like a tightly wound spring suddenly loosening. For so long, I’ve measured my worth, my success as a mother, by the scale of my Christmas productions. The more elaborate the meal, the more love I felt I was giving, proving. But in this simple, unexpected moment, the truth hits me with quiet force: love isn’t measured in courses, or in the price tag of ingredients. It’s in the shared laughter, the clean plates, the uncomplicated joy reflected in their eyes.The cilantro’s bright scent no longer feels defiant, but honest. Unpretentious. And the taste… the taste isn’t one of lack, but of enough. More than enough. It’s the taste of resilience, of navigating a new landscape, of finding joy in the unexpected simplicity. It's the taste of love served without artifice, received without judgment. The echo of their happy murmurs resonates within me, a quiet symphony of contentment that drowns out the ghosts of Christmases past. This isn't the Christmas I planned, but somehow, it feels like the Christmas my heart needed. A gentle reminder that sometimes, the most profound connections are forged not in extravagance, but in the shared warmth of a simple meal, seasoned with love and a surprising abundance of grace. The shift is subtle, yet profound. The yearning for what was softens into a quiet appreciation for what is. And in that space, a new kind of peace settles in, a peace that smells of cilantro ...
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    7 mins
  • The Pizza Commercial
    Dec 21 2024

    The fluorescent lights hum, a quiet counterpoint to the nervous energy crackling through the room. I stand at the front, ostensibly shuffling papers, but my eyes flicker across the sea of faces before me. Beneath the veneer of academic focus, I see it – the subtle signs of a deeper hunger.

    It's pizza commercial day in Social Media and E-Marketing. On paper, it's about audience targeting and narrative construction. In reality, it's become something far more elemental.

    The first time I brought food, it was almost an afterthought. A box of stale donuts to celebrate a grant approval. I watched as one student, quiet and always hunched in the back row, pocketed three. My initial reaction – a flare of irritation – haunts me still. It wasn't until weeks later, overhearing a hushed conversation about missed meals and overdue rent, that understanding dawned with painful clarity.

    I remember those days. The hollow ache that no amount of caffeine could mask. Trying to focus on lectures while mentally calculating if I could stretch my last pack of ramen for one more day. The shame of it all, carefully hidden behind a facade of academic dedication.

    Now, I watch as they enter, eyes darting to the stack of pizza boxes by my desk. I've stopped announcing it, stopped making it a reward. It simply... is. A constant, like the hum of the lights or the scent of dry-erase markers.

    "Let's see those storyboards," I say, my voice steady despite the lump in my throat. They gather in groups, the shuffle of papers mingling with nervous laughter. And then, as the first box opens, releasing a cloud of yeasty warmth, something shifts.

    Shoulders relax. Smiles come easier. The quiet one who never speaks now gestures animatedly, describing a camera angle. Another student, who I've seen lingering by the vending machines with empty pockets, takes a second slice without hesitation.

    It's not just about filling stomachs. It's about nourishing something deeper. In this moment, we're not professor and students, separated by grades and expectations. We're human beings, sharing in a fundamental act of community.

    As they work, trading ideas and building narratives, I see flashes of brilliance emerging. Unencumbered by immediate hunger, their creativity flourishes. They're not just learning about marketing; they're learning about connection, about seeing the humanity in each other and in themselves.

    When class ends, they file out, leaving behind empty boxes and the lingering scent of cheese and possibility. One student pauses at the door, meeting my eyes. No words are exchanged, but the look conveys volumes. Gratitude, yes, but something more – recognition. In that moment, we see each other, truly see each other, beyond our assigned roles.

    I gather the remnants, my heart full. This won't solve systemic inequality or erase the myriad challenges they face. But for a few hours each week, in this room warmed by more than just pizza, we create a space where everyone's basic needs are met. Where hunger – of body and of spirit – is acknowledged and, however briefly, satisfied.

    And in that satisfaction, something profound takes root. The understanding that beneath our differences, our struggles, our individual journeys, we share a common hunger. For knowledge, yes, but also for connection, for dignity, for the simple grace of being seen.

    As I turn off the lights, the fluorescent hum fading, I carry this truth with me: We are all, in our own ways, both hungry and capable of nourishing each other. Sometimes, the most important lesson isn't found in any textbook, but in the quiet act of breaking bread together. And that is a lesson worth savoring.



    This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit empathynode.substack.com
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    5 mins

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