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We wrote a movie! Jason Voorhees was traveling to see Allison’s yabbos. We aren’t sure of the distance. Gary Riley was in the movie, of course. Shrout was LIVID regarding the possibility that we might mix Halloween and Christmas in this movie. Jason got super hungry, like as hungry as four dudes. He had a craving for cow’s milk. He also asked for salt, so someone had to get it from the highest possible cabinet in the kitchen, at the very back, where it was totally out of reach. Andy was super into our movie, so naturally he fell asleep to it. Maybe he was just tired from trying to hide the baloney pony? Now, tart faces, take your Clark Bars and sit the hell down and listen to this episode!

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Happy Halloween, friends and enemies! This one is about a Disney movie that talks a whole hell of a lot about virgins, which is really weird. So, there’s this virgin, who hasn’t had sex yet. He meets this girl at school who he is totally into, especially since he’s a virgin that hasn't had sex yet. This virgin takes his sister trick or treating, and runs into the girl that he likes. They all decide to go to this witch house. Instead of not being a virgin anymore, he lights this black flame candle, and the witches come back from the dead. After this, chaos ensues. There’s a talking cat, a zombie, two of the HARDEST dudes ever (Jay and Ice), and lots of fun. Spoiler alert: the virgin is still a virgin at the end of the movie. Join us as we discuss Hocus Pocus!

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Hey y’all. Mom wants to know if your friends want some grape punch. Andy harnesses Mama Fratelli. Scatman John makes an appearance. Not only does Shrout not like football, he actively HATES it. Maybe it’s a result of the way his mom spoke to him when he was a kid. He really needs to find the safe where his humor lives, and unlock that shit. Dr. Pibb. Chris Farley is, pound for pound, better. You’d take your medicine if you knew what was good for you (but stay away from speedballs). How did this fool case the takeoff?! Jason longs to be friends with Kid Rock. You know, he’s got another White House down there in Nashville. If more people believe it, that means it’s true! Wangers on the glass?! You are bullshit. DO WE HAVE ANY NICKELBACK FANS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT?!

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Whe are The Movie Roulette Podcast, and whe like to party. Whe are the ONLY hwones who party. Whait, whe can’t ALL party. OK, let’s party! Now, on to the episode! Rod whants to be the best stuntman ever. The problem is that he sucks. He also whants to kick his stepfather’s ass to gain his respect. The problem is that his stepfather needs a heart transplant, which is not covered by insurance. Whith help from his crewh, his crush, and the powher of the flaming crocodile claw, Rod sets out to perform his largest stunt yet, raise money for the heart transplant, whin the girl, and finally kick his stepfather’s ass. Life is short, stunt it. Peep the strategy, and join us while whe discuss the movie Hot Rod!

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Hey friends and cohorts! What would your secret knock be? Maybe the Firestorm intro?! We have a Yankees rap for your aural enjoyment. Slammy Sosa approves. Falling cameras. Sic balls! Can you believe Andy actually thinks Shrout and Jason can’t read?! He’s the one reading The Body (For Dummies). The funny thing is, he can’t remember names. What a cock knocker.

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Dick Dreyfuss here! How are ya? Some kids catch wind of a dead kid that was found along the railroad tracks far from town. (The poor bastard got hit by a train while picking blueberries). They decide to journey to the dead body so they can see it. Excitement, craziness, and bonding all happen along the way. Three things before I leave you… 1. You get two for flinching. 2. Chris Chambers never misses. 3. Andy bought the book, Andy read the book, and Andy brings up the book every 2-3 minutes. Brace yourselves, and join my friends Shrout, Andy, and Jason, as they discuss the iconic movie: Stand By Me!

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Come on! We’re going on a road trip out west, to Nilbog Valley. Bill Brasky and Ricky Sweats are coming with us. (Wait, who?) Anyway, they have these kid casinos out there, but folks are trying to have them shut down due to the kids getting addicted to candy bars, bubble gum, and licorice. Oh, and maybe for employing underage candy servers. Johnny Love will be performing a set during open mic at the casino bar. Oddly enough, they serve beer. Why ask why? (Try Bud Dry!) Along the way, we’ll get ice cream cones. Is it even possible to be upset while eating an ice cream cone? We think not. They’ll make a movie about this trip. It’ll be 2.5 hours long (Jesus Christ!), and it’ll be called “Do The Ladder Rungs Ever End? How High Are We Going?” What makes it special is that this will be Jason and Andy’s first trip to this amazing place. But not Shrout’s. He’s been everywhere…man.

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This week, we’ve got one that may or may not be based on Andy’s childhood experiences. A few kids go on the road trip of their lives, on their way to compete in Video Armageddon, the ultimate video game competition. Along the way, they encounter (and try to escape from) all kinds of characters, from family, to creepy private investigators, to teenage bullies, to the ultimate gamer (he brings out our bully instincts due to the actor being a real life creep), hustling anyone they can in video games to make some cash to survive the trip. So, without further ado, join us as we discuss…The Wizard!

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