Showing titles in Humorous

All that stands between rowdy long-haul trucker Jill MacLeod (aka Junkmouth) and her family back in Boston is two thousand miles of asphalt. Well, that and the monstrous game the System has had her playing ever since it descended on Earth. The reward: mana. Jill's goal: kill, score, drive—and stay alive. Behind the wheel of a turreted forty-ton semi named Bertha, Jill hammers east from Montana through a gauntlet of every kind of chomping, hissing, rabid creature imaginable. Barreling forward in her magical soulbound big rig and chalking up a bumper crop of roadkill, Jill isn't alone for long.

While on holiday in 1925, four-year-old Michael Tolkien lost his beloved toy dog on the beach at Filey in Yorkshire. To console him, his father, J.R.R. Tolkien, improvised a story about Rover, a real dog who is magically transformed into a toy and is forced to seek out the wizard who wronged him in order to be returned to normal. This charming tale, peopled by a sand-sorcerer and a terrible dragon, by the king of the sea and the Man-in-the-Moon, went through several drafts over the years.

A missing king, a dark order, and three fragments of a demon king’s soul… a group of misfits must save Al’terra before a conquering demon is resurrected. The Ranger’s Guild has fallen. The enduring peace that has lasted two thousand years is now under threat. A dark order with one goal—bring back a demon king who nearly destroyed the world—rises to power.

S.T. is a domesticated crow. He is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (those idiots) and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos. But when Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, S.T. starts to feel like something isn't right. His most tried-and-true remedies - from beak-delivered beer to the slobbering affection of the loyal but dim-witted dog Dennis - fail to cure his owner.

1794. Eleanor, once a lowly English maid, is now a member of the League of the Scarlet Pimpernel and a promising conjuror. With a vampire plot thwarted in Paris, the League's next daring rescue is of the Pimpernel's beloved wife, Lady Marguerite, imprisoned in her London townhouse on unjust charges of treason and espionage. But Lady Marguerite’s captivity is only the first threat from the League's vampiric enemy. With the King known to be ill, possibly mad, England is not as it should be.

You meet the most interesting men in medieval prisons. This one time, I met a guy who offered me immortality for the low, low price of changing my diet. I didn’t read the fine print. Because, he wasn’t talking about a gluten-free diet. More like hemoglobin-full. And now, I’m a friggin’ vampire with five centuries of pop culture references.

With the demise of the Old King, there's a prophesy that a queen will ascend to the throne of the Black Hills. Bad news for the king's sons, who are prepared to defend their birthright against all comers. But for blacksmith Keeley Smythe, war is great for business. Until it looks like the chosen queen will be Beatrix, her younger sister. Now it's all Keeley can do to protect her family from the enraged royals.

Henrietta Doryn has never enjoyed fighting. She'd rather be in the kitchen baking cookies. But it's her duty as Warrior Princess to face off against the forces of evil. As such, she's unceremoniously shooed from her kingdom to go eliminate the all-powerful Dark Lord next door. Keith Monfort has never enjoyed ruling with an iron fist. He'd prefer to be in his workroom tinkering with practical magic. But it's his duty to lead the Dark Enchanted Forest and the forces of evil. So when Henrietta shows up at his door, he's only too happy to invite her in for tea to talk it out instead.

Warlock Holmes may have demons in his head, but now Dr. John Watson has a mummy in his bloodstream. Specifically that of the sorcerer Xantharaxes, who when shredded and dissolved in an 8 percent solution, results in some extremely odd but useful prophetic dreams. There's also the small matter of Watson falling for yet another damsel-du-jour, and Warlock deciding that his companion needs some domestic bliss....

Steve, Rista, and Grint survived the first half of their trek across Arkana, but the dangers are only beginning. They have Lumina, the most powerful sword in Arkana, but it is slowly sucking the life force out of Steve. Now, they need to capture a dragon to carry them to their ultimate showdown with Mikol, bringer of darkness.

Skeeve is just settling into his duties as court magician of Possiltum and his training as sorcerer’s apprentice to Aahz, his scaly green demon mentor, when Aahz is suddenly called back to his home dimension on family business. Skeeve figures he can handle things on his own for a while, but then King Roderick convinces Skeeve to use his powers of illusion to take the king’s place while Roderick takes a little “vacation”. That’s when Hemlock, the ruthless, ambitious queen of a powerful neighboring nation, turns up to fulfill her part in an arranged marriage with Roderick.

An army forty thousand strong is clamoring at the gates for human blood, and there is little hope of reinforcements. The Sacred Kingdom’s stron­gest paladin, Remedios, leads the defense of the city, but even she cannot stem the tide on her own. Despite the dire circumstances, the unimaginably powerful King of Darkness has refused to lend a hand for fear of depleting his magical energy right when he needs it to defeat Jaldabaoth once and for all. Time is running out for the defenders if they can’t figure out a way to survive on their own...!

In a world full of super powers, Felix has a pretty crappy one. He has the ability to modify any item he owns. To upgrade anything. Sounds great on paper. Almost like a video game. Except that the amount of power it takes to actually change, modify, or upgrade anything worthwhile is beyond his abilities. With that in mind, Felix settled into a normal life. A normal job. His entire world changes when the city he lives in is taken over by a super villain. Becoming a country of one city. A city state.

In a village of lazy, good-for-nothing Cobalins, one manly man—a true studly stud—stands above them all: the great, the powerful, the King of…Knock. (Desley palms her forehead. You no be King of Shadows! Now we have to start over. Cobalins groan.) The terrible Army of Light knows the secret location of Dedu Tedu Novus. War is here. There's absolutely no avoiding it. Or is there?

After ridding their home of the demon Lieutenant lurking within, Spot and Bee are left with quite the mess to clean up. The castle lay in ruins around them, its repair a daunting task for even the most industrious little vacuum. Fortunately, cleaning is Spot's specialty. But little do they know that their actions have far-reaching consequences. A new threat has begun to rise in the countryside—an undead plague that threatens to scour the land of any human life.

Sandman Slim returns in a stunning, high-octane thriller filled with the intense kick-ass action and inventive fantasy that are the hallmarks of New York Times best-selling author Richard Kadrey. The request from Thomas Abbot, the Augur of the Sub Rosa council, couldn't come at a better time for James Stark, aka Sandman Slim. For a man who's most recently met Death - and death's killer - a few months of normal life is more than he can handle. He needs a little action, and now Abbott wants Stark and Candy to investigate the disappearance of a young boy.

John was a pretty easy going kind of a guy. Work from home desk job. Single dad to a precocious but overall tolerable daughter. Doing ok for himself in most ways by the standards of the old world. Then the System arrived. The everyday world he's known for decades has changed so he must change as well. He will need friends and allies to help keep himself and his daughter safe. He has to find ways to synergise his teleportation power with the abilities of the rest of his team as they fight off waves of monsters.

Containing modified fairytales, contemporary heists, absurdist poetry and at least one set of actual wedding vows, Januaries is a series of magical ruminations on life and love. Olivie explores the timelessness of love, heartbreak, and death through a fairytale lens. This is bewitching, romantic, and infused with the author's signature sharp-edged wit and heart-wrenching twists.

I almost hooked up with a werewolf… but before we got to third base, he dragged me off to jail. Apparently, he's the leader of the pack in town. The fact that I’m an illegal blood wolf—a vampire/werewolf hybrid—doesn’t help my case. And he didn't appreciate me accidentally biting him when we were kissing, either. Luckily, or unluckily, he seems to think I'm his true mate, which means he won't let anyone hurt me. But he also won't let me go. Between his possessiveness, my need to be near him, and the vampire clan hunting me, one thing's becoming clear:

Our antrepid adventurer must lead his new family to the surface to escape the relentless wave of monsters below. After all, the surface only has much weaker monsters and humans to deal with. What could possibly go wrong? Join the Colony as they are reforged and begin to manifest their destiny as the greatest civilization above and below the ground. Oh, and it's time for Anthony to introduce the newest member to his team, the cutest murderball of infinite terror Pangera has ever seen!