Showing results by narrator "Kaplan" in All Categories

From a dysfunctional family who turn their mother's wake into a full-blown riot, to funeral crashers looking for free meals, to a horse-drawn hearse taking the dearly departed for the ride of their afterlife, these accounts from actual undertakers will have you laughing, thinking, and gasping in disbelief. A literal graveyard of wild coincidences, slapstick humor, and touching moments, Over Our Dead Bodies explores the lighter side of the dead, the living, and the lone undertaker who has to make it all go as planned - even if it doesn't.

What was once the Western United States is now home to the Republic, a nation perpetually at war with its neighbors. Born into an elite family in one of the Republic's wealthiest districts, 15-year-old June is a prodigy being groomed for success in the Republic's highest military circles. Born into the slums, 15-year-old Day is the country's most wanted criminal. But his motives may not be as malicious as they seem. From very different worlds, June and Day have no reason to cross paths - until the day June's brother, Metias, is murdered and Day becomes the prime suspect.

The Garde have suffered the ultimate betrayal: Number Five has allied himself with the Mogadorians, killing Eight and helping the Mogs to abduct Ella from the safe house. Now the fight for Earth's survival has just become that much more impossible. The Garde may not have time to mourn their fallen ally, but they'll make sure to avenge him. And help is at hand from the most unlikely of sources: Adam, a Mogadorian, has turned his back on his people. He might just be their lifeline, but are the Garde repeating past mistakes by putting their trust in him?

Als ich in die Kleinstadt zurückkehre, in der ich aufgewachsen bin, liegt mein Leben in Scherben. Der Plan war, mich selbst zu finden ... und nicht den schamlos flirtenden Mitinhaber des hiesigen Winter-Resorts. Wesley Price ist ein Hüne von einem Mann, seine Augen sind stechend und mit seiner direkten Art bin ich mehr als überfordert. Aber er gibt mir zum ersten Mal seit Langem das Gefühl, wieder eine begehrenswerte Frau zu sein. Und das, obwohl ich bei unserem ersten Treffen eine Vogelscheuchenfrisur, Jogginghosen und einen übergroßen Mantel trage.

For years the Garde have fought the Mogadorians in secret, but now the invasion has begun. If the Garde can't find a way to stop the Mogs, humanity will suffer the same fate as the Lorien: annihilation. When the Elders sent the Garde to Earth, they had a plan - one which the Garde are finally starting to understand. A group of the Garde travelled to an ancient pyramid in Mexico where they awoke a power that had been hidden for generations. Now this power can save the world or destroy it. It will all depend on who wields it.

Yearbook is a collection of true stories that I desperately hope are just funny at worst, and life-changingly amazing at best. (I understand that it's likely the former, which is a fancy 'book' way of saying 'the first one.') I talk about my grandparents, doing stand-up comedy as a teenager, bar mitzvahs and Jewish summer camp, and tell way more stories about doing drugs than my mother would like. I also talk about some of my adventures in Los Angeles, and surely say things about other famous people that will create a wildly awkward conversation for me at a party one day.

They call it the Taskforce. Commissioned at the highest level of the U.S. government. Protected from the prying eyes of Congress and the media. Designed to operate outside the bounds of U.S. law. Trained to exist on the ragged edge of human capability. Pike Logan was the most successful operator on the Taskforce, his instincts and talents unrivalled–until personal tragedy permanently altered his outlook on the world.

While other books give you tips on how to “write funny,” this book offers a paradigm shift in understanding the mechanics and art of comedy and the proven, practical tools that help writers translate that understanding into successful commercial scripts. The Hidden Tools of Comedy unlocks the unique secrets and techniques of writing comedy. Kaplan deconstructs sequences in popular films and TV that work and don’t work and explains what tools were used (or should have been used).

A psychotherapist and hit podcaster brings empathy and humor to her first book, a radical reimagining of the self-help genre that teaches listeners how to “process their emotional sh*t,” let it go, and enjoy the life they’re living.

The second book in Marie Lu’s New York Times best-selling Legend trilogy - perfect for fans of The Hunger Games and Divergent! June and Day arrive in Vegas just as the unthinkable happens: The Elector Primo dies, and his son Anden takes his place. With the Republic edging closer to chaos, the two join a group of Patriot rebels eager to help Day rescue his brother and offer passage to the Colonies. They have only one request - June and Day must assassinate the new Elector.

Ten years ago, Roy Peter Clark, America's most influential writing teacher, whittled down almost 30 years of experience in journalism, writing, and teaching into a series of 50 short essays on different aspects of writing. In the past decade, Writing Tools has become a classic guidebook for novices and experts alike and remains one of the best loved books on writing available. This new edition includes five brand-new, never-before-shared tools.

Far in the future, 60,000 light-years from Earth, a loose confederacy of Terran exiles is locked with the enigmatic Protoss and ruthless Zerg swarm. Each species struggles to ensure its own survival among the stars in a war that will herald the beginning of mankind's greatest chapter - or foretell its violent, bloody end. Danny Liberty was a good reporter...too good. When his investigations struck too close to the heart of the corrupt Terran Confederacy, he faced a simple choice: continue his current series of exposés, or take a hazardous new assignment covering the Marines.

Penguin presents the unabridged, downloadable audiobook edition of The Rise of Nine by Pittacus Lore, read by Neil Kaplan, Devon Sorvari and Marisol Ramirez. Until I met John Smith, Number Four, I’d been on the run alone, hiding and fighting to stay alive. Together we are much more powerful. But it could only last so long before we had to separate to find the others... I went to Spain to find Seven, and I found even more, including a tenth member of the Garde who escaped from Lorien alive.

I thought things would change when I found the others. We would stop running. We would fight the Mogadorians. And we would win. But I was wrong. Even though we have come together, we barely escaped from them with our lives. And now we're in hiding, figuring out our next move. The six of us are powerful - but not strong enough to take on their entire army. We haven't discovered the full extent of our Legacies. We haven't learned to work together. Time is running out, and there's only one thing we know for certain: We need to find Number Five before they do.

Dying for a Drink is a true story of the chaos and hurt caused by an alcoholic. The author, telling her own story, writes of time spent in multiple rehabs, both in the United Kingdom and Sydney, Australia. She writes in the hope that her story will encourage other alcoholics and addicts (which can be anybody addicted to anything) - that they will see in their own stories the similarities rather than the differences.

'We are the last defence.I've seen him on the news. Followed the stories about what happened to John Smith. To the world he's a mystery, but to me...he's one of us. Nine of us came here, but sometimes I wonder if time has changed us, if we all still believe in our mission. There are six of us left. We're hiding, blending in, avoiding contact with one another, but our Legacies are developing, and soon we'll be ready to fight....'

Demons, fairies, and fallen angels are everywhere. They lurk at crossroads, crouch behind doors, hide in trees, slip into beds, wait in caves, hover at weddings and childbirths, disguise themselves as friends, relatives - even disguise themselves as you. They are powerful; they are protean; they are enchanting. And, to the uninformed, they are often invisible. This guide - the first of its kind - reveals the remarkable permutations of the demon and fairy species worldwide.

Far in the future, 60,000 light-years from Earth, a loose confederacy of Terran exiles are locked in battle with the enigmatic Protoss and the ruthless Zerg Swarm. Each species struggles to ensure its own survival among the stars in a war that will herald the beginning of mankind's greatest chapter - or foretell its violent, bloody end.

Women who opt not to be mothers are frequently warned that they will regret their decision later in life, yet we rarely talk about the possibility that the opposite might also be true - that women who have children might regret it. Drawing on years of research interviewing women from a variety of socioeconomic, educational, and professional backgrounds, sociologist Orna Donath treats regret as a feminist issue: as regret marks the road not taken, we need to consider whether alternative paths for women currently are blocked off.

For the poor, hardworking citizens of the Confederacy's fringe worlds, the Guild Wars have exacted a huge toll. Swayed by the promise of financial rewards, a new batch of recruits joins the fight. Eighteen-year-old Jim Raynor, full of testosterone and eager to make things right at home, ships off to boot camp and finds his footing on the battlefield, but he soon discovers that the official mission is not what he's really fighting for.