Showing results by narrator "Larry G Jones" in All Categories

Counsels and Maxims is a classic work by noted German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer. His work has influenced some of the modern world's greatest thinkers, including Carl Jung, Sigmund Freud, and Erwin Schrödinger. This piece was originally translated by Thomas Bailey Saunders.

Have you ever wanted to know the best place to get a chicken-fried steak, breakfast taco, or margarita in Texas? Well, look no further than The Funny Travel List Texas: Eat and Drink, a thorough collection of the finest local Texas hot spots for the best food and drink in the lone star state. Whether you’re a native looking for a new favorite spot, a transplant trying to get the lay of the land, or you’re just passing through, this Texas restaurant guide will give you the low-down on the must-try places around the state.

Not all that glitters is gold, and gold mining was not the simple get-rich-quick scheme many thought it was. The Diary of a Forty-Niner draws readers into the day-to-day life of a prospector during the California Gold Rush.

Sitting Bull lives on in legacy as a Native American chief who fought against white oppression. When the US government broke land treaties to seek gold in the Black Hills, Sitting Bull took a stand against the desecration of this sacred land. He led his people, the Hunkpapa Lakota, through a period of resistance amidst crisis. He persisted through the end of the Great Sioux Wars, famously facing off against George Armstrong Custer in the 1876 Battle of the Little Bighorn. Though shot and killed in 1890, Sitting Bull's immortal spirit of resistance continues to inspire.

Poe brings the reality of life and death to the forefront as he weaves a story within a story. When the narrator runs into an old man, the man begins to tell the tale of how he aged so rapidly. Only a day before, he was young - but lost his shipmates into a vicious maelstrom and the powers of the sea. After the initial terror of the event has subsided, he is able to examine the beauty and the power of the forces that can both provide life and take it away without note.

On December 29, 1890, the US military entered the Lakota Pine Ridge Indian Reservation with the intention of disarming the natives. When met with resistance, the cavalry opened fire on the Lakota in a massacre that killed several hundred men, women, and children. A few months later, some of the Lakota survivors met with the Commissioner of Indian Affairs in Washington to state their side of the story. These powerful testimonies present this horrific event from the perspective of those most hurt by it.

Many consider Theodore Roosevelt to be America’s most conservation-minded president. Throughout his presidency, he worked to preserve endangered animals and their habitats. In this 1907 speech to Congress, he states, “The conservation of our natural resources and their proper use constitute the fundamental problem which underlies almost every other problem of our national life.” Hear this speech to experience Roosevelt’s conservationist fervor firsthand.

Mark Twain delivered this humorous speech on taxation and morality at the Tuskegee Institute to commemorate its 25th anniversary. With his signature ironic wit, he told the audience woefully of the public vs. private morals of Christians. He says the Christian maintains the nation’s integrity 363 days a year, but the "other two days of the year he leaves his Christian private morals at home and carries his Christian public morals to the tax office and the polls, and does the best he can to damage and undo his whole year's faithful and righteous work."

After 20 years in public service, George Washington turned down a third term as president with this memorable farewell address. In it, he implores the American public to be united above all else, putting aside fervor for their political parties and state lines. He also warns against forming long-term partnerships with foreign nations. Originally this was a 32-page document that was read and distributed widely throughout America after its initial publication, and it deserves the same avid listenership today.

Declaration of the Causes and Necessity of Taking Up Arms is an important document in the history of the United States. In it, the Second Continental Congress explained why the Colonies had taken up arms against Britain.

"An Account of An Extraordinary Fireball Bursting at Sea" is a short, first hand account of a phenomenal event that occured in 1749. Aboard his ship Montague, the author witnessed a blue fireball on the Mediterranean Sea. Some believe it to be a first hand account of a UFO.

In 1877, the US government ordered the Nez Perce Indians to leave their tribal lands in the Pacific Northwest for a reservation in Idaho. Though this mandate violated previous treaty agreements, the army forced the Indians to flee. Led by Chief Joseph, they trekked over 1,000 miles while being pursued by the army. Charles Erskine Scott Wood was present at the end of this fateful trek and recorded the history of the Nez Perce war, its conclusion, and Chief Joseph’s memorable surrender.

With this biting speech, Mark Twain dissects the damaging role newspapers can play in society. He argues that America’s public opinion is formed “by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse.” Twain accompanies these criticisms with personal anecdotes and tales of libel both humorous and disheartening. He concludes by saying that there are virtues to newspapers, but such remarks would not have made for such an interesting speech.

Mark Twain gave this speech at an event honoring Andrew Carnegie, who helped found the Simplified Spelling Board. Twain mentions how uncomfortable it is to only receive compliments when one is the guest of honor, so he critiques Carnegie’s “pestiferous” ideas about spelling reform. In doing so, he provides his own suggestions for fixing “this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.” This speech is a fine example of the brazen humor that made Twain himself famous.

One of Edgar Allen Poe’s more lighthearted stories, this details the investigation of a mummy named Allamistakeo. After finding the body of the mummy in good condition, the mummy researchers use electricity to bring him back to life. Allamistakeo then proceeds to have a conversation with the crew - from what ancient Egypt was like to what religion was like. The conversation ends abruptly when the researchers ask him a question about the beginning of the universe, calling to play the reigning religion at the time.

In this story, the narrator showcases his friend, Toby Dammit, who is a man of low morals and often makes bets against the devil. One day, while on a bridge, Dammit sees a turnstile and bets the devil his head he can make it that far. An old man goads Dammit into making the leap - and the cost is about what you might expect.

Ever want to blame the worst thing you’ve ever done on someone (or something) else? Edgar Allan Poe believes you don’t have to, and that each time someone does something that is against their best interest, they are being visited by the Imp of the Perverse. The narrator of this story, in fact, is visited by this imp after he murders a man via poisonous candle. After thinking he got away with it, he gets a visit from the imp on the streets of his town - and begins to question whether he can hold his secret in any longer.

In 1790, Moses Seixas of the Touro Synagogue wrote a letter to President Washington. Representing a people who had been escaping persecution for generations, he wanted confirmation that Jews would be given full freedom in the United States. Washington assured Seixas, and those of all religions. This letter provides insight into two founding principles of America: freedom of religion and separation of church and state.

George Washington gained a reputation for military excellence for his service in the French and Indian War. This experience, combined with his unique situation as a relative outsider, made him an obvious choice to lead the Continental Army. Washington managed to get a ragtag army into fighting form, leading them to victory against all odds. Yet he remained humble; in this acceptance speech, he said, “I am truly sensible of the high Honor done me in this Appointment.... I do not think myself equal to the Command I am honored with.”

As the Revolutionary War came to an end, Congress had failed to pay many of its soldiers. In response, a group of officers from the Continental Army planned a mutiny. When they met to discuss their plans, George Washington arrived on the scene to have his say. In this emotional speech, he acknowledged their concerns but condemned their methods.