Showing results by narrator "Arte Johnson" in All Categories

Guy de Maupassant was a master of the short-story genre, producing more than 300 during his lifetime. These concise stories contain twists and shocking turns, and range from the fantastic and supernatural, with characters descending into madness....

In October 1872, the fastidious Phileas Fogg—a British gentleman who rarely ventures outside the comforts of home or his beloved club—bets his compatriots that he can travel around the entire world in just eighty days. With his newly hired valet, Passepartout, as his traveling companion, Fogg embarks on a wild journey, traversing the continents. He is determined not to lose the bet, no matter what obstacles arise—and they do arise—in this classic tale of adventure and romance!

Prepare to be entertained by a host of Hollywood celebrities reading the finest collection of short mystery stories surrounding the world of entertainment.

This collection of short stories displays Ed Gorman's talents as a masterful storyteller across a range of genres.

A mysterious and beautiful girl who teaches arrogant young men about true love, a lonely traveling salesman who learns that his passenger is Death, children who can absorb the psychic pain of their parents, a desperately pursued serial killer who hides his face under gauze in a hospital room, and a woman who loves the alien infant nobody else wants - these stories and 10 others make up this collection by award-winning author Ed Gorman. Here are stories that led him to be called "one of the best" by Dean Koontz and "one of the most original writers in crime fiction today" by Kirkus Reviews. Here, you'll find the extraordinary range of storytelling skill and powerful emotions that won Gorman the prized International Fiction Award.

Included in Different Kinds of Dead, and Other Tales are "Different Kinds of Dead", "Deathman", "A Girl Like You", "Loverboy", "Muse", "Riff", "The Brasher Girl", "Survival", "Masque", "Second Most Popular", and others.

This collection reveals the extraordinary range of storytelling skill and powerful emotions that won Gorman the prized International Fiction Award. His protagonists, gritty and gruff, are strangely likable, and his writing, according to Mystery News, is "powerful, disturbing, [and] often poetic".

Now is not the time to start that fitness program! Instead, laugh along with humorist Dave Barry as he debunks, demotivates, and delights on the subject of fitness. Hear his inimitable views on exercise ("the best time would be the first thing after Easter, but not the one coming up"), weights ("big-time lifters have turned into 400-pound hairy sweaty shapeless grunting masses of tissue. And the men are even worse"), and much more.

Murder in a Distant Land the stories for this annual collection of the Mystery Writers of America were selected for their strange and exotic locales. Breathtaking suspense, cold-blooded crime, and challenging twists of plot - set in the four corner of the world - make this recording a chilling audio experience. We suggest you listen with the lights on!

In More of the 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said, Ross and Kathryn Petras continue their connoisseur's compendium of awkward utterances, slips of the tongue, doubletalk, and just plain stupid statements from politicians, celebrities, sports figures, social leaders and average joes.

What do best-selling writers Sue Grafton, Danielle Steel, and Tom Clancy all have in common? They’ve all been shockingly murdered in a manner both gruesome and appropriate to their style. Now, an extremely paranoid Stephen King is convinced that he will be the next victim....

A collection of coast-to-coast murder and mayham, including these unabridged short stories: "Vaudeville" by Whitley Strieber, read by Roddy McDowell; "Lucky Day" by Mary Higgins Clark, read by Betsy Palmer; "Starstruck" by Jon A. Breen, read by James Stacy; "Snookered" by Gerald Tomlinson, read by David Birney; "It Was Bad Enough" by Ron Goulart, read by Arte Johnson and Gee Whiz; "My Lovely" by Betty Buchanan, read by Joan Rivers.

If there's even a smidgen of Scrooge in your psyche, just say, "Bah-Humbug!" and laugh at this satire of the treacly best seller, The Christmas Box. Among the variations on the theme are: The Christmas Vox, in which a young man finds himself having phone sex with Ms. Santa Claus; The Christmas Jury Box, a touching memoir by a sequestered O.J. juror who misses her fruitcake; and The Christmas Box Lunch, the touching tale of a caterer's X-mas. You'll be pleased to learn that the true meaning of Christmas is receiving.

This collection features a selection of classic short stories and poems by legendary Western authors Stephen Crane, Bret Harte, and Jack London.

What would it take to lure a serious young newswoman from a respectable New England paper to the most notorious supermarket tabloid in America? The call of journalistic adventure? How about a promise of a salary that's triple what she's making? En route to her new job at the Weekly Galaxy, Sara Joslyn stumbles across a bloody corpse in a Buick Riviera. A big story? Not at this paper. The problem is compounded when the dead man vanishes, Buick and all.

From the grand old man of comedy, George Burns to the up-to-the minute observations of today's everyman, Dave Barry, these great humorists share one thing in common: their very individual, often raucously funny perception of the world around them. Laugh and enjoy!

Today, as the years have passed, readers and listeners have become increasingly passionate about Russell Baker's writing, addicted to his columns and fanatic in their admiration of him. Here is the best of the best of Russell Baker, arranged into a dozen different themes that give us a view of American life at once wise and most amusing.

For nearly 30 years, Paul Dickson's Toasts has been the the perfect reference for any occasion where one needs to raise a glass. Organized by category, it contains sayings famous and profound, suitable and sentimental. Covering births, weddings, graduations, and other events both major and minor, Dickson also provides a history of the toast, and a guide on how to do it well. Revised for the first time since 1991, this new audio edition of Toasts is as useful as ever.

Dave Barry didn't know what he was letting himself in for when he invited his Legion of Alert Readers to submit their nominees in the Bad Song Survey. "Song badness," he soon learned, "is an issue that Americans care deeply about."Now John Ritter and Arte Johnson present for you the songs that Americans love to hate. There is Gary Puckett and the Union Gap Band's "Young Girl" ("Young girl, get out of my mind, my love for you is way out of line..."), which is not to be confused with "Woman", and "This Girl Is a Woman Now"....

Blackstone Audio presents An American Family Shakespeare Entertainment: Based on Charles & Mary Lamb's 20 Tales From Shakespeare, augmented by miscellaneous scenes and soliloquies from Shakespeare's plays, featuring Elizabethan songs and dances in new arrangements for stringed instruments.

Harry Beltway, idealistic young conservative and grandson of a famous evangelist, has just come back from a two-years tour as a missionary when he is persuaded to join the campaign staff of Tim Duncannon, an arch-conservative television commentator who has set his sights on the Republican nomination for presidency so that he can build a barbed wire fence around America.

Dave Barry exposes natural childbirth for what it is: a pop phenomenon of the 1960's that, along with paisley bell-bottoms and creative sideburns, deserves a rest. His new book gives parents-to-be the hard facts they need. He examines the new federal law requiring prospective fathers to free themselves from their self-made macho prison - to laugh, cry, love and just generally behave like certified wimps.

When Dave Barry writes funny, you write back. And when you write funny, Dave Barry talks back! Pulitzer Prize-winning author and columnist Dave Barry gets more response from readers than any other writer in the United States. And now the absolute best of Dave Barry is available, complete with those items sent in by Dave's legion of Alert Readers all across the country. But Dave Barry doesn't only talk back to readers. He talks back to traffic cops, dentists, doctors, Congress, and his very dumb dogs.