Showing results by narrator "Jonathan Smith" in All Categories

Terry has spent the last several years lusting after his best friend Darrel, who has been happily dating an adorable blonde bottom since before they met. When Darrel's boyfriend is captured by alien tentacle monsters, he springs to action to save the love of his life with Terry at his side. Little do they know that the invasion will change everything.

Aliens and humans alike play positions based on physiology, creating receivers that jump 25 feet into the air, linemen that bench-press 1,200 pounds, and linebackers that literally want to eat you. Organized crime runs every franchise, games are fixed, and rival players are assassinated. Follow the story of Quentin Barnes, a 19-year-old quarterback prodigy that has been raised all his life to hate, and kill, those aliens. Quentin must deal with his racism and learn to lead, or he'll wind up just another stat in the column marked "killed on the field."

It’s high-stakes, win-or-die football action in the far future, as aliens and humans fill positions based on physiology and leave their blood, sweat, and tears on gridirons across the galaxy. Last season, 19-year-old rookie quarterback Quentin Barnes overcame his racism and unified his team. He led the Ionath Krakens to a lower-tier championship, a championship that earns them promotion into the meat grinder known as “Tier One”. Now, he and the Krakens have to compete against the greatest football teams ever assembled and do far more than just survive each game.

In one of the most shocking chapters in the Jensen family saga, America's fearless frontier clan is about to take on an enemy as cold and relentless as evil itself - a mad, sadistic surgeon skilled with knives and his gang. They're gunning for the Jensen Sugarloaf ranch to ravage Jensen women, and spill an ocean of Jensen blood....

Pawns in a millennia-old struggle, the young people known only as the Birthday Children were genetically engineered to survive on the planet Omeyocan - but they were never meant to live there. They were made to be “overwritten”, their minds wiped and replaced by the consciousnesses of the monsters who created them. Em changed all of that.

No one thought that MacTrump - Lord of MacTrump Towers, Son of New York - would ascend to the highest position in the kingdom. Yet with the help of his unhappy but dutiful wife Lady MacTrump, his clever daughter Dame Desdivanka, and his coterie of advisers, MacTrump is comfortably ensconced in the White Hold as President of the United Fiefdoms, free to make proclamations to his subjects through his favorite messenger, McTweet. The Democrati, mourning the loss of their cherished leader O'Bama, won't give up without a fight.

Traffic is piling up, and strange things are headed your way in this new story collection by World Fantasy Award-winning author Tobias S. Buckell. In these twenty-four stories you’ll find inhabitants of a small town who won’t vaccinate against a zombie plague, a lone sentry keeping motorists from stumbling into something ancient and evil, a man who puts stranded ghosts to rest, an ex-soldier traveling the seas who trades his new life of hardship for a return to swords and blood, and many more tales of speculative fiction.

In the epic conclusion to the Cornerstone saga, the sinister forces at work in the troubled ville grow insidiously stronger, and Ryan Cawdor is the only one with first-hand knowledge of the true enemy. However, he’s trapped outside the ville, wanted for murder, and, with a hijacked Cornerstone mission team, must return to the redoubt where he and Jak Lauren nearly died, in hopes of finding the means to defeat the monster in Cornerstone’s midst.

The bear seems harmless—at first. Just a lost and confused grizzly poking around Big Rock. Then the killings begin. A horse wrangler is mangled. A rancher mauled. Then a bartender in the heart of town is found clawed to a bloody pulp. Now every man in Big Rock is taking up arms to hunt down the beast before it strikes again—which worries the local sheriff. He’s afraid this amateur hunting party could turn into a mass funeral real fast. So he asks Smoke Jensen to help keep everyone calm and contain the panic. Unfortunately, it’s too late. The panic is out of control. And the hunt is on.

Pawns in a millennia-old struggle, the young people known only as the Birthday Children were genetically engineered to survive on the planet Omeyocan - but they were never meant to live there. They were made to be “overwritten”, their minds wiped and replaced by the consciousnesses of the monsters who created them. Em changed all of that.

It’s the kind of job Luke Jensen hates. A millionaire mine owner is willing to pay $5,000 to the man who captures the half-breed outlaw Tom Eagle. Normally, Luke would turn down an offer like this—it smacks too much of being a hired gun. But when the millionaire tells him that Eagle is responsible for killing his son, Luke agrees to take on the job. Which means he’ll have to take the road to hell itself—aka Hard Rock, Montana.

In all his years of bounty hunting, not one injury could rival the pain Lou Prophet felt when he thought he’d lost his old partner Louisa Bonaventure. Now that he’s rescued her from the brink of death in Mexico, they’re seeking a fresh start in Juniper, Wyoming, which had once been called Helldorado before Lou’s friend, “Hell-Bringin’” Hiram Severin, cleaned it up. Or thought he had....

Shady Rest, Texas, has the dubious reputation for being the deadliest town in America. Getting yourself killed is as easy as blinking and twice as quick. Sure enough, Matt Jensen hasn't swallowed his whisky before the town's marshal is gunned down before his eyes. Matt defends himself by putting two bullets in the shooter's chest, unaware that he's in line for a $5,000 bounty - as long as he stays in Shady Rest to collect it. And staying gets even more tempting when a red haired beauty decides to be the next town marshal....

When Kiowa war chief, Santana, boasted that he had led a war party against a wagon train of freighters, he set the stage for his arrest. The war party had robbed, tortured and mutilated members of the wagon train, and now the Kiowa chiefs were to be tried in a Texas court. The case seemed open and shut, but attorney Joe Woolfolk made it clear that the U.S. would have to prove its charge without using Santanas boastful self-incrimination.

Sheriff Jess Carey and his oddball band of sidekicks have pulled off the impossible, taming Hell’s Half Acre, the most lawless town in Texas, infamous for murder, mayhem, prostitution, and every random act of bloodshed imaginable. Now the no-good politicians in Austin have decided it’s cheaper to dump hordes of criminals on Jess Carey’s town than hanging ‘em. In one dreadful week, it seems as if the gates of Hell have burst open.

While most folks are busy preparing for Christmas, the tightknit Jensen clan can only hope they’ll make it home. Luke Jensen is in San Antonio tracking down a dangerous outlaw. But when he finds the man leading a wholesome life — as a charity-working Hill Country pastor — Luke agrees to wait until after Christmas to bring him to justice.

All it took was one phone call and TV show host and archaeologist Annja Creed is in mortal danger. Her producer Doug Morrell has been abducted by a greedy treasure hunter who's seeking the lost raubgold, or looted gold of Nazi Germany. The terms are simple: retrieve the bounty and Doug lives. Fail, and he dies....Now Annja and her friends must find a missing German fighter plane that was shot down over the Alps in 1945.

An invitation too irresistible to refuse from the Museum of Cadiz leads archaeologist Annja Creed to the sun-drenched southern coast of Andalucia, Spain. In a region rich in Moorish and Roman ruins, she leaps at the chance to join a dig across the Bay of Cadiz, where she unearths a bronze bull statue that makes the entire trip worth every minute. Until the day after her discovery, when she sees the same artifact beside the body of a dead Spaniard, killed by the estocada, the final sword thrust used by bullfighters to bring down the bull.

Coel’s journey eastward with the sorcerer Reza Walladid earned him the wrath of the Hobgoblin Hordes and the Lord of the Assassins. The terrible secret he discovered there could turn humanity against him, yet now it must be revealed. Now nation after nation falls before the Horde’s inexorable march west, either slaughtered and eaten in battle or accepting the Horde’s terrifying terms of surrender. In every shadow, Assassin daggers lurk.

A Rocky Mountain winter has left Breck reeling from the carnage unleashed by bloodthirsty trapper Judd Carnahan - and readying a quest for vengeance as ruthless as their prey. It gets even deadlier when Carnahan lays siege to a trading post on the Yellowstone River. He’s left the owner dead and kidnapped a pretty hostage who can turn a nice profit once he puts her to work. Following his trail takes Breck clean to Santa Fe, where Carnahan’s set up a brothel bursting with hardened beauties, a saloon for cutthroats and thieves....