I have talked often about living in the grey zone of survivorship. I know I am not alone in saying that this stage of breast cancer life is harder than the beginning when I was having additional testing and preparing for surgery. I had never discussed what it means to be a survivor with anyone when I was first diagnosed. No one sat down and talked about survivorship with me in the beginning, either. The focus was on getting all the information to formulate a treatment plan.

Then it hit me like a brick wall after I was at a point when all the surgical recovery was essentially complete. I remember the moment at about 3 months after surgery when I realized that is when it gets more difficult. I am facing my future, which is filled with uncertainty. That is nothing new but there is an added consideration to add to my “future life”: Breast cancer. I do not know when or if the breast cancer will return.

For my listeners, I want to share experiences that you might relate to. An episode of the Breast Cancer Conversations podcast that I listened to over the weekend really resonated with what I have been going through for the past 15 months. The Breast Cancer Conversations podcast has had a few episodes that made a huge impact on me in the earliest months of my survivorship. When I listened to the episode #192 (referenced below), with guest David P. Bullis PhD, I knew immediately I had to share it with my listeners.

In the episode, Dr Bullis talks about his work and experience, which comprises the content of his book, How to Get a Grip: Coping Strategies for Complicated Times. Dr Bullis says that the biggest enemy in cancer treatment is uncertainty. He really nailed it! Facing a future where the cancer might change my life goals or interfere with how I thought I would spend the rest of my life or my future years way down the road…… Cancer comes into my vision. I cannot put aside the “what ifs” of a breast cancer history (it is permanently part of my story/my life).

In the episode, Dr Bullis also touches on control and decision-making, pointing out that we are using the best of our abilities at the time when we are making decisions.

Once I read the book, I will share more. In the meantime, I encourage you to listen to the Breast Cancer Conversations episode and read Dr Bullis’s book.

How to Get a Grip: Coping Strategies for Complicated Times by David P. Bullis, PhD

https://www.breastcancerconversations.org/podcast Episode #192 (released March 26, 2023)

I listened on Apple Podcasts. This link is to the podcast website.

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The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

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I recently met someone who said that they learned about my podcast from my LinkedIn profile. We were meeting regarding our work. She shared that she also had a recent diagnosis of breast cancer - at the same time that I did. She was new to survivorship just like me.

It has been just over a year since the heaviness of survivorship really hit me. It forced me to leave my job because I happened to be working specifically with breast cancer clinical trials. I had to get outside of my head and find a way to get back to living life and not be obsessed with breast cancer and my fear of it limiting my life.

So my energy to keep sharing my story and providing anecdotes that help me to get on with my life has been boosted after that interaction last week with someone who knows what it feels like to be on this journey.

Subscribe, rate, and review the Breast Cancer Life podcast.

The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

LET'S CONNECT:

connect@breastcancerlife.org

Life has evolved since last year, when I was in my breast cancer screening and diagnosis journey. Not long after I recovered from the mastectomy and reconstruction, I learned how hard it is to be a breast cancer survivor. The psychological aspects of being a survivor, particularly the fear of cancer recurrence, prevailed after the incisions healed. To get a sense of control over survivorship, I realized I had to prioritize sleep, exercise, and nutrition to care for myself. Survivorship takes more energy (mentally for certain) than the screening, diagnosis or surgery ever did.

Early in survivorship, I spent time trying to care for myself. I sought out cancer support resources to get the help I needed to adjust to life as a survivor. Then, earlier this year, I reached a point where I felt like something was missing (not referring to my left breast, which was removed during the mastectomy). I decided it was time to go back to work as a nurse.

In this episode, I look back at three months on the job and talk about how I managed to keep myself from falling apart. I did not perfectly fit in exercise. I lost track of how close I was to the recommended 150 minutes of exercise per week. I prioritized walking to the subway as a primary source of movement in the workdays. I found places in my work day to fit in “exercise snacks”, those small bursts of activity to exert myself and raise my heart rate. I even found places at work where I can stand and work at a computer.

I managed to accept disrupted sleep as part of my life and used some of those early morning moments for an early start at the gym. Some days I allowed myself to wake up a little later, even if it meant skipping the gym before work. I tried to be kind to my body and take the cue that more sleep is needed.

I love food and found that although I had the best intentions of packing health snacks for work, I was not bringing enough to keep me from feeling low on energy and very hungry at the end of the day.

The silver lining I share in this episode is that, after 3 months in the job, I now have additional flexibility to work remotely some days and get an extra day off some weeks. So after three months of getting by and being gone every week day all day, I get some time back in my week to restore the balance in my self-care priorities.

Subscribe, rate, and review the Breast Cancer Life podcast.

The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

LET'S CONNECT:

connect@breastcancerlife.org