I have talked often about living in the grey zone of survivorship. I know I am not alone in saying that this stage of breast cancer life is harder than the beginning when I was having additional testing and preparing for surgery. I had never discussed what it means to be a survivor with anyone when I was first diagnosed. No one sat down and talked about survivorship with me in the beginning, either. The focus was on getting all the information to formulate a treatment plan.

Then it hit me like a brick wall after I was at a point when all the surgical recovery was essentially complete. I remember the moment at about 3 months after surgery when I realized that is when it gets more difficult. I am facing my future, which is filled with uncertainty. That is nothing new but there is an added consideration to add to my “future life”: Breast cancer. I do not know when or if the breast cancer will return.

For my listeners, I want to share experiences that you might relate to. An episode of the Breast Cancer Conversations podcast that I listened to over the weekend really resonated with what I have been going through for the past 15 months. The Breast Cancer Conversations podcast has had a few episodes that made a huge impact on me in the earliest months of my survivorship. When I listened to the episode #192 (referenced below), with guest David P. Bullis PhD, I knew immediately I had to share it with my listeners.

In the episode, Dr Bullis talks about his work and experience, which comprises the content of his book, How to Get a Grip: Coping Strategies for Complicated Times. Dr Bullis says that the biggest enemy in cancer treatment is uncertainty. He really nailed it! Facing a future where the cancer might change my life goals or interfere with how I thought I would spend the rest of my life or my future years way down the road…… Cancer comes into my vision. I cannot put aside the “what ifs” of a breast cancer history (it is permanently part of my story/my life).

In the episode, Dr Bullis also touches on control and decision-making, pointing out that we are using the best of our abilities at the time when we are making decisions.

Once I read the book, I will share more. In the meantime, I encourage you to listen to the Breast Cancer Conversations episode and read Dr Bullis’s book.

How to Get a Grip: Coping Strategies for Complicated Times by David P. Bullis, PhD

https://www.breastcancerconversations.org/podcast Episode #192 (released March 26, 2023)

I listened on Apple Podcasts. This link is to the podcast website.

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The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

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I recently met someone who said that they learned about my podcast from my LinkedIn profile. We were meeting regarding our work. She shared that she also had a recent diagnosis of breast cancer - at the same time that I did. She was new to survivorship just like me.

It has been just over a year since the heaviness of survivorship really hit me. It forced me to leave my job because I happened to be working specifically with breast cancer clinical trials. I had to get outside of my head and find a way to get back to living life and not be obsessed with breast cancer and my fear of it limiting my life.

So my energy to keep sharing my story and providing anecdotes that help me to get on with my life has been boosted after that interaction last week with someone who knows what it feels like to be on this journey.

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The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

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Life has evolved since last year, when I was in my breast cancer screening and diagnosis journey. Not long after I recovered from the mastectomy and reconstruction, I learned how hard it is to be a breast cancer survivor. The psychological aspects of being a survivor, particularly the fear of cancer recurrence, prevailed after the incisions healed. To get a sense of control over survivorship, I realized I had to prioritize sleep, exercise, and nutrition to care for myself. Survivorship takes more energy (mentally for certain) than the screening, diagnosis or surgery ever did.

Early in survivorship, I spent time trying to care for myself. I sought out cancer support resources to get the help I needed to adjust to life as a survivor. Then, earlier this year, I reached a point where I felt like something was missing (not referring to my left breast, which was removed during the mastectomy). I decided it was time to go back to work as a nurse.

In this episode, I look back at three months on the job and talk about how I managed to keep myself from falling apart. I did not perfectly fit in exercise. I lost track of how close I was to the recommended 150 minutes of exercise per week. I prioritized walking to the subway as a primary source of movement in the workdays. I found places in my work day to fit in “exercise snacks”, those small bursts of activity to exert myself and raise my heart rate. I even found places at work where I can stand and work at a computer.

I managed to accept disrupted sleep as part of my life and used some of those early morning moments for an early start at the gym. Some days I allowed myself to wake up a little later, even if it meant skipping the gym before work. I tried to be kind to my body and take the cue that more sleep is needed.

I love food and found that although I had the best intentions of packing health snacks for work, I was not bringing enough to keep me from feeling low on energy and very hungry at the end of the day.

The silver lining I share in this episode is that, after 3 months in the job, I now have additional flexibility to work remotely some days and get an extra day off some weeks. So after three months of getting by and being gone every week day all day, I get some time back in my week to restore the balance in my self-care priorities.

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The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

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In this episode, I share 2 of the thoughts that have recently come up in my life as a breast cancer survivor. There are currently not any healthcare appointments or other reminders of my cancer experience going on. So that is a nice break from times when there were several necessary things I had to do because of my breast cancer history.

At this point in my survivorship, new thoughts have come to mind. These are generally positive thoughts and are helping me to normalize this whole experience. l talk about how I view the implant (my breast reconstruction) as such a normal thing. Secondly, I talk about how I hear myself saying in my head that exercise is my best medicine. It is a prescription for doing what I can to lower my risk of the cancer recurring and I do not need to wait for a doctor to tell me this.

Breast Cancer Life is a podcast about my breast cancer experience. This is for you, the person who may be facing a diagnosis, and the person who knows someone facing the reality or real possibility of a breast cancer diagnosis. Nothing could have prepared me for this lived experience. My hope is that you get a glimpse of what this life is like.

Subscribe, rate, and review the Breast Cancer Life podcast.

The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains the opinions of the host.

LET'S CONNECT:

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There are many facets to what makes us who we are in our own world. To fit in all that is necessary to live our life as we hope to, it takes work. I share strategies that have guided me in fitting everything together, and I hope they inspire and support you on your own path.

Breast Cancer Life is a podcast about my breast cancer experience. This is for you, the person who may be facing a diagnosis, and the person who knows someone facing the reality or real possibility of a breast cancer diagnosis. Nothing could have prepared me for this lived experience. My hope is that you get a glimpse of what this life is like.

Subscribe, rate, and review the Breast Cancer Life podcast.

The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

Book referenced in this episode:
Tranquility by Tuesday - Author Laura Vanderkam

https://lauravanderkam.com/2022/08/tranquility-by-tuesday-the-9-rules/

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It has happened a lot: I come up with what I call surviving and thriving phrases. The phrases (perhaps vignette is a more beautiful word to use) have helped me to organize a lot of what has consumed so much of who I am and how I live my life since the screening and diagnosis began and now as a survivor. In this episode, I share more of these phrases.

Breast Cancer Life is a podcast about my breast cancer experience. This is for you, the person who may be facing a diagnosis, and the person who knows someone facing the reality or real possibility of a breast cancer diagnosis. Nothing could have prepared me for this lived experience. My hope is that you get a glimpse of what this life is like.

Subscribe, rate, and review the Breast Cancer Life podcast.

The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

Episodes mentioned:

A Breast Cancer Screening Experience, Part 1

A Breast Cancer Screening Experience, Part 2

A Breast Cancer Screening Experience, Part 3

A Breast Cancer Screening Experience, Part 4

Breast Cancer Patient Experience: Tamoxifen and the End of Intimacy as I know it

Breast Cancer Patient Experience: Surviving and Thriving Phrases that Characterize Breast Cancer Life Part 1

LET'S CONNECT:

connect@breastcancerlife.org

It has happened a lot: I come up with what I call surviving and thriving phrases, that characterize my breast cancer experience. Since the screening and diagnosis journey began, these phrases have helped me to organize a lot of what has consumed so much of who I am and how I live my life. In this episode, I start to share these phrases that describe breast cancer life.

Breast Cancer Life is a podcast about my breast cancer experience. This is for you, the person who may be facing a diagnosis, and the person who knows someone facing the reality or real possibility of a breast cancer diagnosis. Nothing could have prepared me for this lived experience. My hope is that you get a glimpse of what this life is like.

Subscribe, rate, and review the Breast Cancer Life podcast.

The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

LET'S CONNECT:

connect@breastcancerlife.org

The core principles of my self-care are adequate sleep, exercise, and nutrition. I have a new job and am back to work after some time off. As I adjust to a new schedule of going to work, I am in transition with all aspects of what is really important to me in my efforts to control what I can in reducing the risk of breast cancer recurrence.

In this episode, I provide an update on a different week of trying to fit in self-care essentials.

Breast Cancer Life is a podcast about my breast cancer experience. This is for you, the person who may be facing a diagnosis, and the person who knows someone facing the reality or real possibility of a breast cancer diagnosis. Nothing could have prepared me for this lived experience. My hope is that you get a glimpse of what this life is like.

Subscribe, rate, and review the Breast Cancer Life podcast.

The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

Episode mentioned:

Learning to Row in a Community of Breast Cancer Survivors

LET'S CONNECT:

connect@breastcancerlife.org