Toxic
Tackling 'Razor' and Finding the Real Me
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Toxic
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Narrated by:
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Neil Ruddock
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Stuart Nurse
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By:
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Neil Ruddock
About this listen
'Neil's book has given me a new-found appreciation of how he used the "Razor" alter ego to mask what he was going through. The recent turnaround in him, both physical and mental, is a revelation.' ALAN SHEARER
'Love Neil Ruddock. One of the old school. He's honest and funny as f**k. A beautiful read and a strong bit of memoir. Well done son.' DANNY DYER
'You think you know "Razor" Ruddock? Well, think again. This is a courageous and fascinating autobiography by my ex-teammate, a book which will inspire so many others to confront their past and change their life.' ROBBIE FOWLER
'Neil has always been the life and soul of the party but I can't tell you how much Toxic has given me a more rounded picture of him. To have the strength and determination to transform his life is a special thing.' ROBBIE WILLIAMS
'Neil's book blew my mind. Now I understand my friend's journey to finally being comfortable in his own skin.' IAN WRIGHT
Neil 'Razor' Ruddock tells the inspiring and uplifting story of how he faced the battle of his life: to become a different person.
In this inspiring and uplifting memoir, Neil Ruddock charts his toxic journey of self-destruction, a path littered with food addiction, plummeting self-confidence and a dangerous relationship with drink which took him to the brink of death.
'Razor' was his caricature of the larger-than-life football hardman, a persona which turned from a natural extension of Ruddock's character to a comfort blanket to smother every mood, every emotion. When his front door closed, the laughter stopped. He was depressed and despairing. Football had institutionalised him. Talking about his inner feelings wasn't an option, owning up to mental health issues was an absolute no-no.
In a remarkable series of confessions, and with his trademark humour and brutal honesty, Ruddock recounts how he spiralled so far out of control that he lost sight of who he really was. No matter how he was feeling, he reached for the same old answer - the mask of 'Razor' and a big night out.
Following the fitting of a pacemaker and drastic stomach surgery, Ruddock has lost nine stones, firmly pressed the reset button on his life, and found the strength to free himself of the shackles of the bloke he thought he needed to be in order to become the man he always knew he was.
Toxic tells the story of how Ruddock faced the battle of his life: to become a different person. No longer does he feel the need to be anything but his true self. As he now says: I'm half the man I used to be, but twice the man I used to be.'©2024 Neil Ruddock (P)2024 Headline Publishing Group Limited
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What listeners say about Toxic
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lindsey Dean
- 06-11-24
A shame
Absolutely fascinating story. But what a shame about the voice absolutely dreadful would have been better if read by someone not pretending to be a Londoner
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- richard sims
- 20-11-24
Great insight into Razor
Really enjoyed the football stories & Razors shenanigans off the pitch too . Thoroughly enjoyed it . Always did like Razor
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- DBS
- 17-10-24
Inspirational
As a suffer with weight issues I could identify with everything Razor …. Sorry Neil wrote and it has inspired me to seek help to start a long journey.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tracey
- 04-11-24
A genuine account!
Loved every minute of this genuine account of a footballers life… the ups and downs, the mental health aspect. All the stuff we as fans don’t see watching our favourite teams week in week out!! Told in a way that grass root fans will relate too and hopefully many will take something from this honest account!! Great read!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- 2303jwr
- 18-10-24
outstanding
brilliant very, very funny stories.. and some serious heart warming ones too. definitely worth a listen even if you aren't a football fan
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Pete
- 11-10-24
Amazing
Fabulous account of Neil’s life, absolutely inspiring me to speak up about my issues and troubles I’m having
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