Change is challenging, for all kinds of different reasons. But one thing that can make it more challenging than it actually needs to be is when we insist on going it alone.

Whether you're aiming to improve your health, boost your productivity, or cultivate a new skill, having a solid support strategy can be the difference between frustration and success.

But getting the people around you to support you in ways that you find supportive can be challenging. Here are some ways to set yourself up for success.

Key Takeaways

1. Be specific when asking for support from friends and family. Don't expect them to read your mind – tell them exactly how they can help.
2. Remember that unsupportive behavior from others is often more about their own insecurities than about you.
3. Curate your environment to reflect the person you're becoming. Remove obstacles and add elements that propel you towards your goals.
4. Seek out people who share your goals and motivations and are actively pursuing the kinds of things you want to incorporate in your life.

Work with Me

30 Day Nutrition Upgrade

Weighless Program

Keynotes and Workshops

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Dr. Michelle Segar is an NIH-funded researcher at the University of Michigan. She’s also a best-selling author and health coach. She’s spent close to thirty years studying how to create sustainable changes and healthy behaviors that can survive the complexity and unpredictability of the real world.

In this episode, Monica talks with Dr. Segar about her newest book, The Joy Choice, as well as her 3-step process for staying on track even when life goes off the rails.

Highlights

• Why it is hard to follow through on our best intentions
• How research on ADHD has influenced behavior change
• The concept of Goal Shielding
• How working memory affects our behaviors and how we can leverage it
• Michelle's "POP" 3-step process and why play is such an important aspect of it

Mentioned

The Joy Choice, by Michelle Segar

MichelleSegar.com

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Goals come in different flavors--and they don’t all work same way. By understanding the differences, we can uncover ways in which our goals may be a bit fuzzy, lacking support, in conflict with one another, or even just out of balance. That insight can help us fine-tune our efforts, helping us create lives that are healthier, happier, more productive, and more meaningful!

Key Takeaways:

• Make sure that your emotional and outcome goals are supported by specific behavioral goals.
• There’s an important difference between emotional goals (how we want to feel in our lives) and the desire to simply “feel better right now,” which can often lead us to act in ways that thwart our progress toward our actual goals.
• It can be hard to stay motivated by behavioral goals alone, so try to be clear on what emotional or outcome goals your behavioral goals are in service of.
• We also want to check our goals for alignment with our other goals and our values and adjust as necessary.

Lab Experiment:

Make a list of your current goals, objectives and aspirations and sort them into behavioral, emotional, and outcome goals.

• Does one category dominate your list?
• If most of your goals are behavioral, what sort of outcome or emotional goals will these behaviors lead to?
• Are your emotional goals supported by behavioral goals?
• Are your outcome goals supported by specific behavioral goals?
• Why do these outcomes matter to you; how do they align with your values and long-term vision?
• What emotional goals might your outcome goals serve?
• Do you have goals that are in conflict with one another? Can these two goals co-exist?
• If not, how do your values suggest you ought to proceed?
• Do your goals reflect the things you care about most? Do they bring you closer to a life that is aligned with your deepest values?

Mentioned

Weighless Program for sustainable weight management

Overcoming stress and emotional eating

Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

Ep #146: Sense foraging: How to do an end run around the DMN

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.