Negative consequences—while the term might sound harsh, the reality is that some kids truly thrive when they know they are surrounded by sturdy, solid, immovable limits.

There are certain children, especially strong-willed or "gladiator" kids as I call them, who push back against every boundary—insisting they don’t need rules, testing limits at every turn, and even retaliating when consequences are enforced.

However, despite their resistance, clear, consistent, and loving boundaries actually make them feel safer and more emotionally regulated.

If you’ve ever felt guilty about enforcing consequences or struggled to set limits that actually work, this episode is for you. Tune in and learn how to create a structured and supportive environment where your child can thrive.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Setting the Stage for Negative Consequences (00:00)
• Understanding Anxiety in Kids (02:06)
• The Importance of Consistent Limits (04:32)
• Setting Effective Consequences (06:24)
• Practical Tips for Implementing Consequences (07:56)
• Connecting Before Correcting (14:48)
• Resources and Support for Parents (15:39)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Parenting can be a beautiful journey, but it often brings challenges that strain relationships. From the demands of daily life to the push-and-pull dynamics of kids testing boundaries, the connection between parents can sometimes feel like it’s taking a back seat.

In this week's episode I explore how vital it is to protect and prioritize this bond, emphasizing that a strong relationship between parents doesn’t just benefit you—it’s a gift to your children.

Kids thrive when they see their parents working as a team, and how division or tension can create stress and confusion in the family dynamic.

Listen in to learn practical strategies to reconnect, communicate effectively, and maintain a sense of partnership even during the busiest times.

Whether it’s setting aside time to nurture your relationship, finding ways to support each other even in small ways, or understanding the role of teamwork in parenting, this episode is packed with insights to help you strengthen your parenting partnership and create a harmonious family environment for everyone involved.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Importance of a United Parental Front (00:00)
• Challenges in Two-Parent Families (01:21)
• The Impact of Parental Relationship on Children (02:30)
• Recognizing and Responding to Bids for Attention (03:56)
• Changing the Lens and Spending Adult Time Alone (05:39)
• The Importance of Date Night (07:41)
• Using the Calm Technique and Avoiding Policing (09:09)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Welcome to the first Connected Parenting episode of 2025!

After spending the holidays with my family, I’m excited to reconnect with all of you.

The holidays are often a mix of joy, warmth, and togetherness, but they can also bring tension, big feelings, and unresolved conflicts.

As Ram Dass so wisely put it, "If you think you're enlightened, go spend a week with your family."

In this episode, we explore how to navigate those lingering emotions and patterns that surface during family gatherings, especially as we enter a new year.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Reflecting on Family Dynamics and Emotional Programs (00:00)
• Understanding Implicit Beliefs and Their Impact (01:29)
• The Role of Parents as Substitute Frontal Lobes (05:44)
• Practical Steps to Manage Implicit Beliefs (07:35)
• Inner Child Work and Self-Care (12:45)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).