Setting intentions is more than just a self-help trend—it's a transformative practice that influences how we navigate our daily lives.

My memoir, Little Fag: A Journey of Self-Acceptance & Healing is filled with examples of how my life unfolded both with intention & without.

Intention is about cultivating a mindset and heartset that guides our actions, emotions, and thoughts toward a desired way of being.

Since beginning to partner with intention, which I know to be the creative energy of the Universe, my life has been extraordinarily - even when I struggled to share my authenticity with the world. In everything I do, intention is my partner.

Wayne Dyer describes intention as “a strong purpose or aim, accompanied by a determination to produce a desired result…[it’s] a power that’s present everywhere…”. Intention isn’t a physical action, per say, but a force.

Another way to think of intention comes from Carlos Castaneda:

“Intention is a force that exists in the universe. When sorcerers (those who live of the Source) beckon intention, it comes to them and sets up the path for attainment, which means that sorcerers always accomplish what they set out to do.”

In this podcast I’m going to talk about creating more life with intention, walk you through what intention is, speak to the benefits of intention setting, be practical and give examples of intentions you could set, dive a little deeper into how intention has lived for me and then close with how to set intentions.

What is contemplation?

The Oxford Dictionary describes it as a noun meaning “deep reflective thought”.

I would never have thought I had a contemplative bone in my body, but of course that narrative is bullshit.

My intention with this episode and perhaps every 12th episode, is to share the workings of some level of contemplation from my life.

I’ll focus on the impact of the contemplative thought and choose to be vulnerable in terms of how it has coursed its way - or not - through my life.

In this episode I’ll share a contemplation I call “hang on tightly let go lightly.”

My family taught me to hang on tightly. They had much fear that what we had, which wasn’t much, would disappear if we didn’t white knuckle our grasp onto it. It was clearly a philosophy born from the perspective of lack.

And of course, the tighter we gripped what we had, the quicker it disappeared.

Think about attempting to hold onto a handful of water by grasping it tighter. What happens to the water?

There are so many reasons why people don’t let go of things. Inside of their own brains, those reasons usually make sense, too!

I’m not the only one who holds on to lots of things tightly - a lot of people.

As Joseph Campbell said in The Power of Myth:

There’s a centre of quietness within, which has to be known and held. If you lose that centre, you are in tension and begin to fall apart.

The Centre doesn’t have a location, yet, there are physical regions associated with it. It’s more of a dynamic point of psychic equilibrium or inner balance.

When you’re in the Centre, there’s no internal resistance. Everything simply is.

You are alive, alert, and active. An inner calm prevails.

Abiding in the present moment, you act spontaneously. You don’t try to achieve this present awareness; it’s a result of being in the Centre - human be-ing, not human do-ing.

Happiness and sadness are not experienced in the Centre. You don’t feel “positive” or “negative.”

In the Centre, you are neutral.

We often envision growth as a straight line, a steady upward climb towards our goals.

We picture ourselves diligently checking off tasks, achieving milestones one after another, and ultimately reaching the pinnacle of success with a sense of accomplishment.

However, the reality of growth is far more nuanced and rarely resembles this linear ideal. And I know you know this by know, but the truth is, progress & growth aren’t linear.

Progress & growth are a meandering journey with twists, turns, and even occasional steps backward. There will be periods of rapid growth, followed by plateaus or even setbacks.

But understanding and embracing non-linear progress & growth is crucial for maintaining motivation, building resilience, and ultimately, achieving our intentions, goals & breathing life into the strategies we’ve created to move ourselves towards more growth.

The impact of technology on human connection and the human condition is complex.

While it provides unparalleled opportunities for virtual connectivity, it is necessary to navigate the digital landscape with purpose.

Balancing technology use, prioritizing face-to-face interactions, and rethinking cultural norms around connection are critical steps in addressing the question of whether technology is isolating us.

Henry Thoreau shared this long ago and I think it’s a great reminder for these times, “That man (I’ll add woman as well) is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest.”

What would your life “feel like” if you took on a challenge of living without technology for a period of time?

No internet, no laptop, no TV, no smart phone.

Whether you're looking to unplug for an hour, a day, a week, or longer, I thought I’d share some ideas - with some stories - that may help you simplify your life, rediscover the beauty of the present moment, and find joy in the analog world.

My little guy, Tommy, calls for me to stop connecting with the world at times. He invites me to connect with him on the beach. To stop thinking so much, to stop analyzing all the time. His call, his playful nudge is to start feeling & start dreaming. I’ve learned to love him, yet it’s taken some effort.

I love this from Glennon Doyle, from her book Untamed, “The voice I finally heard that day was my own--the girl I'd locked away at ten years old, the girl I was before the world told me who to be--and she said: Here I am. I'm taking over now.”

We ignore the child within by ascribing its voice to immaturity rather than validating its heart as honest.

In this podcast I’ll talk about connecting to your inner child and how it can helpful in making it easier to understand your adult experience, heal from pain in your past, and handle any future challenges with self-compassion.

I’ll outline ways of getting to know that gorgeous little person inside you and outline a myriad of tips on how to reach out to your inner child, along with a brief visualization to serve as a way to make a connection.

And I’ll close with some recommendations for how you can tap into your inner child’s wisdom.

Like James Broughton said, “I’m happy to report that my inner child is still ageless.”

I have a complicated relationship with to-do lists. They are undeniably useful for plotting out my day or week ahead of time, and they can be a great way to hold myself accountable for getting things done.

But they are designed to remind me of all the things I haven’t done.

As soon as I cross off one task, another one or two or 10 await me. The whole exercise can be a dispiriting reminder that no matter hard I work or how much I accomplish, there will always be more work to do.

Because of the discouraging nature of to-do lists, I have a habit of abandoning them: My computer contains countless Word files, tasks, and sticky notes littered with uncompleted assignments and chores.

Have you ever felt that traditional to-do lists don’t work for you?

I’m going to walk you through a host of rumination’s connected to to-do & then chat about what I’m going to refer to as a “done list” or at time a “to-done” list. And as I said earlier this isn’t something I’ve currently implemented, but it’s gaining a lot of traction as I dove into research for this talk.

If you’re running your own business, leading a team, or just trying to get through your day, seeing a bunch of un-done tasks first thing in the morning can make it feel like you’re starting the day already falling behind.

But what if you started each morning by reviewing what you accomplished the previous day?

That’s the idea behind a Done list.

In this podcast I’ll chat about why everyone’s always going on about how we should “practice gratitude” in life, and while I agree that it’s good to be grateful for all the good things you have in life, I discovered it’s not exactly the game-changer people claim it is.

In fact, sometimes it turns into toxic positivity and doesn’t make you feel all that great.

I’ll muse about why having a gratitude practice may not actually do much for you.

I’ll share 10 thoughts about my concerns over a practice that just might be a tad over-rated.

And I’ll wrap-up the podcast by outlining some steps you can take, that helped me, upon discovering gratitude journaling was hard.

And I’ll offer a few other suggestions that might help get you back on track, if that’s what you want.

Here’s my take on Gratitude and How I Fell Off the Wagon.