Same-sex weddings are leading the charge in tradition-breaking days!

In this special episode of The Thing About That, we chat to theatre actor and bezzie mate of Lucy Eaton: Freddie Hutchins. He talks candidly about all the ups and downs of planning his beautiful autumnal wedding in Kew Gardens, London, as a gay man. As well as getting some crazy helpful tips on how to delegate roles amongst your bridal party and what is best to spend your money on (btw it's a photographer), we analyse why LGBTQ+ weddings are some of the most liberating experiences. There's no antiquated blueprint to follow, no specific bride and groom so the pressures are less. Why can't we all just start from a similarly open-minded base line? How different would weddings look if we could?

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Guest Special 3 length: 41 mins 52 seconds

Meet Freddie and Oli (01:15)

That "fearing a proposal" feeling (03:02)

• "I did live in terror of him getting down on one knee!"
• Why do we always panic in a romantic setting that a proposal is coming?

As a same-sex couple, was it always clear which of you would take the initiative on proposing? (04:04)

Why marriage? (04:40)

• When you're distrustful of the idea of marriage, feeling ok with it for the other person is the final test.
• "I don't want to do this because it is the right thing to do."
• No engagement rings

How involved were family and friends? (07:51)

• Lucky to have family "who fully love and support us as gay men."
• Generational differences, such as parents asking "which of you is the bride?"

Same-sex marriages leading to a more open-minded, instinctive planning experience (13:00)

• 2 men getting married immediately means there is less of a blueprint.
• Pressure to follow old traditions is slightly gone.

When is tradition helpful? (17:40)

• Having a blue-print of a ceremony can be helpful in manipulating emotion and structuring a service.
• When you remove hymns from a service, how do you get everybody to sing together?
• Alternative songs for group singing: Five Gold Rings, Yellow Submarine.
• How to guide your registrar or vicar to get your tone in the ceremony.

What was restrictive in the process as a homosexual groom (21:28)

• Very little: "We were able to escape the wedding mania that is piled onto straight people getting married."
• Know what to fight for / what is important with your venue and team

Multiple brief speeches (26:30)

• 5-minute maximum speeches from various family and friends.
• How to give your VIP guests roles. Know when to delegate roles.

What if you're a bride or groom who hates being the centre of attention? (30:50)

• Bring all your friends into the creation and planning, so the day is about them as much as you.
• Reading, singing, witnessing, recording, cake making etc.
• But ALWAYS HIRE A PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER!

You can find Freddie's recommendation Bride Book here: www.bridebook.co.uk

Thank you for listening!