The Empathy Node Podcast

By: Compassion is Parallel Processing
  • Summary

  • Thoughtful stories and insights on how compassion, understanding, and emotional resonance connect individuals across diverse experiences. Join us and discover the hidden currents that bind our shared humanity.

    empathynode.substack.com
    Empathy Node
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Episodes
  • Cilantro Spaghetti Is Enough
    Dec 24 2024
    The steam curls up, carrying the bright, grassy scent of cilantro. It's almost… defiant, this smell. It’s not the rich, smoky perfume that usually blankets my kitchen on Christmas Eve. Not the sweet tang of peach glaze, or the deeper, woodsy notes of a bird slowly yielding to smoke. My fingers still remember the heft of those turkeys, the methodical basting, the almost ritualistic dance around the oven. Six, sometimes eight courses, each a carefully considered note in a symphony of flavor. That was… then.Now, the stainless steel pot feels lighter, the wooden spoon stirring a familiar but different rhythm. Just spaghetti. Cilantro spaghetti. My stomach clenches a little, a familiar knot of anxiety tightening. This city feels vast, indifferent. Just me, the kids, and now his small, earnest face at my table. My sobrino. Another plate, another chair, another worry folded into the already too-tight corners of my mind.The clatter of forks is a small, sharp sound in the quiet apartment. I watch them eat, each strand of green-flecked pasta disappearing with surprising speed. Are they… happy? Their faces are turned down, focused on their plates. I search for a flicker of disappointment, a shadow of comparison to the Christmases past. The ones filled with crisp skin and gravy boats, with jewel-toned vegetables and the hushed reverence that accompanied the unveiling of each dish.Then, his voice, small and clear. “I’m done with my spaghetti. Can I have what is next?”A wave of something hot and sharp washes over me. Shame? Embarrassment? It claws at my throat, stealing my breath for a moment. The carefully constructed facade of normalcy feels like it’s about to crumble. My carefully rehearsed, cheerful mask feels thin, translucent. The words catch in my throat, tasting like ash.“We… we only have spaghetti tonight.” The confession hangs in the air, heavy and exposed. I brace myself for the inevitable letdown, the polite but thinly veiled disappointment I’ve anticipated since the first pang of financial worry tightened its grip.But then… nothing. A pause, a flicker of surprise in his young eyes, and then… a shrug. A tiny, almost imperceptible lift of his shoulders. He looks back down at his empty plate, then up at me again, a small smile playing on his lips. “It was really good spaghetti.”And then, a chorus. “Yeah, it’s yummy!” “Can I have some more?” “This is my favorite kind!”A strange warmth begins to bloom in my chest, pushing back against the cold knot of anxiety. It’s unexpected, this lightness. Like a sunbeam breaking through a cloudy sky. I watch their faces, really see them, not through the filter of my own perceived inadequacy, but as they are. Present. Content. Enjoying the simple, slightly tangy flavor of cilantro and garlic.My mind races, trying to reconcile this reality with the ingrained belief that Christmas, real Christmas, meant abundance. Elaborate feasts. Effortless extravagance. The ghosts of past celebrations whisper in my ears, the clinking of champagne flutes, the murmur of appreciative voices. Those memories feel suddenly distant, like looking at a photograph of someone else’s life.A warmth spreads through me, not just in my chest, but down to my fingertips, a gentle thawing. It’s the warmth of connection, of shared experience. They aren’t comparing, aren’t judging. They’re simply… here. With me. Eating spaghetti. And they are happy.A tear pricks at the corner of my eye, not from sadness, but from a startling sense of release. It’s like a tightly wound spring suddenly loosening. For so long, I’ve measured my worth, my success as a mother, by the scale of my Christmas productions. The more elaborate the meal, the more love I felt I was giving, proving. But in this simple, unexpected moment, the truth hits me with quiet force: love isn’t measured in courses, or in the price tag of ingredients. It’s in the shared laughter, the clean plates, the uncomplicated joy reflected in their eyes.The cilantro’s bright scent no longer feels defiant, but honest. Unpretentious. And the taste… the taste isn’t one of lack, but of enough. More than enough. It’s the taste of resilience, of navigating a new landscape, of finding joy in the unexpected simplicity. It's the taste of love served without artifice, received without judgment. The echo of their happy murmurs resonates within me, a quiet symphony of contentment that drowns out the ghosts of Christmases past. This isn't the Christmas I planned, but somehow, it feels like the Christmas my heart needed. A gentle reminder that sometimes, the most profound connections are forged not in extravagance, but in the shared warmth of a simple meal, seasoned with love and a surprising abundance of grace. The shift is subtle, yet profound. The yearning for what was softens into a quiet appreciation for what is. And in that space, a new kind of peace settles in, a peace that smells of cilantro ...
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    7 mins
  • The Pizza Commercial
    Dec 21 2024

    The fluorescent lights hum, a quiet counterpoint to the nervous energy crackling through the room. I stand at the front, ostensibly shuffling papers, but my eyes flicker across the sea of faces before me. Beneath the veneer of academic focus, I see it – the subtle signs of a deeper hunger.

    It's pizza commercial day in Social Media and E-Marketing. On paper, it's about audience targeting and narrative construction. In reality, it's become something far more elemental.

    The first time I brought food, it was almost an afterthought. A box of stale donuts to celebrate a grant approval. I watched as one student, quiet and always hunched in the back row, pocketed three. My initial reaction – a flare of irritation – haunts me still. It wasn't until weeks later, overhearing a hushed conversation about missed meals and overdue rent, that understanding dawned with painful clarity.

    I remember those days. The hollow ache that no amount of caffeine could mask. Trying to focus on lectures while mentally calculating if I could stretch my last pack of ramen for one more day. The shame of it all, carefully hidden behind a facade of academic dedication.

    Now, I watch as they enter, eyes darting to the stack of pizza boxes by my desk. I've stopped announcing it, stopped making it a reward. It simply... is. A constant, like the hum of the lights or the scent of dry-erase markers.

    "Let's see those storyboards," I say, my voice steady despite the lump in my throat. They gather in groups, the shuffle of papers mingling with nervous laughter. And then, as the first box opens, releasing a cloud of yeasty warmth, something shifts.

    Shoulders relax. Smiles come easier. The quiet one who never speaks now gestures animatedly, describing a camera angle. Another student, who I've seen lingering by the vending machines with empty pockets, takes a second slice without hesitation.

    It's not just about filling stomachs. It's about nourishing something deeper. In this moment, we're not professor and students, separated by grades and expectations. We're human beings, sharing in a fundamental act of community.

    As they work, trading ideas and building narratives, I see flashes of brilliance emerging. Unencumbered by immediate hunger, their creativity flourishes. They're not just learning about marketing; they're learning about connection, about seeing the humanity in each other and in themselves.

    When class ends, they file out, leaving behind empty boxes and the lingering scent of cheese and possibility. One student pauses at the door, meeting my eyes. No words are exchanged, but the look conveys volumes. Gratitude, yes, but something more – recognition. In that moment, we see each other, truly see each other, beyond our assigned roles.

    I gather the remnants, my heart full. This won't solve systemic inequality or erase the myriad challenges they face. But for a few hours each week, in this room warmed by more than just pizza, we create a space where everyone's basic needs are met. Where hunger – of body and of spirit – is acknowledged and, however briefly, satisfied.

    And in that satisfaction, something profound takes root. The understanding that beneath our differences, our struggles, our individual journeys, we share a common hunger. For knowledge, yes, but also for connection, for dignity, for the simple grace of being seen.

    As I turn off the lights, the fluorescent hum fading, I carry this truth with me: We are all, in our own ways, both hungry and capable of nourishing each other. Sometimes, the most important lesson isn't found in any textbook, but in the quiet act of breaking bread together. And that is a lesson worth savoring.



    This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit empathynode.substack.com
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    5 mins
  • Beyond An Ordinary Name
    Dec 20 2024

    I never meant to love her. That was the first mistake.

    The late winter sun was setting over the parking lot when I saw her – a tiny ball of fur determinedly wobbling toward me. I remember thinking, “No, please don't. I already have a dog. My life is organized, planned. I don't need complications.”

    But there she was, flopping onto her back, tiny paws batting at the air like she'd rehearsed this moment. Her eyes held that peculiar wisdom kittens sometimes have, as if she knew exactly what she was doing to my carefully maintained emotional boundaries. The pavement was still warm from the day's heat, and all I could think was how it would feel under her delicate body when the cars came rushing in tomorrow morning.

    "Just for tonight," I whispered to myself, scooping her up. "Tomorrow, straight to the shelter. Don't even think about naming her."

    That night, something extraordinary happened. Jueves, my dog, met her. I expected the usual chaos that comes with introducing a dog to a cat. Instead, this unnamed kitten took one look at him and decided he was her mother.

    The sight of this tiny creature attempting to nurse from my bewildered dog melted something in me. But I held firm. "She's just 'Cat,'" I'd tell anyone who asked. "She's temporary." Even as weeks turned into months, and months into years, she remained simply "Cat" – my final fortress against complete attachment.

    Jueves and Cat developed their own language. She appointed herself his guardian, patrolling windows, demanding with insistent meows that he come inside when he lingered in the yard. Their bond defied my attempts at emotional distance, weaving itself into the rhythm of our daily lives.

    Then Jueves left us. Cancer took him away from us.

    The first 3 AM after he passed, I woke to Cat's frantic meowing. There she was, running from window to window, calling for him just as she always had. My initial reaction was frustration – “Please, not now. I can barely handle my own grief.”

    But as I watched her continue her ritual night after night, something shifted in my understanding. She wasn't just acting out of habit; she was mourning him in the only way she knew how. While I processed my grief through tears and memories, she processed hers through this nightly vigil, maintaining her role as his guardian even across the veil of existence.

    Now, when the clock strikes three and her meows echo through the house, I no longer try to quiet her. Instead, I whisper, "Yes, I miss him too." Sometimes I imagine him is out there, just beyond the window, wagging his tail at our shared remembrance. In those moments, I realize that grief itself is a form of love that transcends species, names, and all our careful plans to keep our hearts protected.

    She never did make it to that shelter.

    I never did name her properly. She's still just "Cat." But perhaps that simplicity holds its own profound truth – some bonds don't need elaborate names to be real. They just need to be honored, even at 3 AM, when the world is quiet enough to hear the echo of a love that refuses to be temporary.



    This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit empathynode.substack.com
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    4 mins

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