Melissa was adopted at birth in 1965 in Little Rock, AR. Her adoptive parents were able to take her home at five days old straight from the hospital since it was a private adoption facilitated by the doctors and lawyer. Understanding the signs of the times as she grew, she never felt rejected by her birth mother. Her life has been full and blessed from the beginning. For most of her life, she declared there wasn’t a desire to search when asked. However, searching for familiar faces in a crowd and then internet and social media searches crept throughout different periods of her lifetime. Holding her daughter and then her son two years later increased her desire to have biological connections that had been missing in her life. When her adoptive father began having health problems, she knew it was time to get serious about her search.

Submitting DNA led to close matches on her paternal and maternal sides. Through these connections she was able to identify her living birth father and then 2 years later her living birth mother. When her search journey began, she had two conscious thoughts about how it would unfold:

1. "Everyone who could be adversely affected are adults. My children, their children, etc. Adults can do hard things. This has to be God's timing for us to connect."
2. All the adoption stories, movies, or books she had encountered up to that point had wonderful, happy endings where everyone reconnected and was grateful to do so.

She quickly realized how wrong she was on both counts. This is why podcasts like this one and books like The Girls Who Went Away are so vital. She’s met family members on both sides who have been welcoming but UNJUSTIFIED rejection has been the prevailing theme of her story. One sibling in particular has put up barriers trying to prevent her from connecting with her birth mother. The measures this sibling has taken are truly unbelievable especially since this sibling proclaims to be Christian and Pro-Life. Until she started researching beyond the idyllic stories, she wouldn't have found the peace needed to understand why her journey had been so difficult.

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker

MAGIC MIND: Black Friday offer, it's currently 50% off until the 6th of December, only with our link: https://www.magicmind.com/adopteebf

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Thank you to our Patrons! The next ADOPTEE CAFE is December 7th @ 1 pm ET

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.