Understanding Before Change: Huddle Wisdom Podcast Episode 124

Do you ever feel frustrated by your child's anxiety?

In this episode, we explore how your own behavior might be impacting your child.

• We often react quickly to our kids' anxiety.
• We want to fix it immediately.
• But sometimes, our reactions can make things worse.

Take a moment.

Think about how you respond to your anxious child.

• Do you get anxious yourself?
• Do you try to solve their problems?
• Do you avoid situations that make them anxious?

Your reactions can unintentionally reinforce your child's anxiety.

Instead, try this:

• Understand your own anxiety.
• Manage your own emotions.
• Model calm behavior.

When you change, you'll see a change in your child.

Listen now to learn more.

www.huddlewisdom.com/14days (14 Day email series)

Building Resilience - From Anxiety to Confidence - This episode explores practical strategies for helping children build resilience and confidence in managing their anxiety

Dr. Tan introduces the "Courage Ladder" approach, which involves creating manageable steps to gradually expose children to their fears

The episode also emphasizes the importance of understanding the physical symptoms of anxiety and how to manage them

Dr. Tan introduces the "Body Detective" technique for recognizing and managing physical anxiety signals

Practical tools are also discussed, including the "Dragon Breath" technique, the "Worry Box," and the "Superhero Pose"

The episode stresses that supporting an anxious child is a journey and that consistency and understanding are crucial

The episode emphasizes that the goal is not to eliminate anxiety, but to help children learn to navigate it effectively

Course: Making sense of anxious kids

www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids

IMPORTANT NOTE:

The Power of Validation - Communication That Transforms - This episode focuses on the critical role of validation in communicating with anxious children

Dr. Tan explains how dismissing a child's fears can worsen their anxiety and emphasizes the importance of acknowledging their feelings

Validation acts as a "bridge" to help anxious children move towards coping strategies

The episode provides examples of how to validate a child's feelings by using phrases such as "It sounds like you're really worried" instead of dismissing their fears

It also introduces the "Feel and Deal" approach, which involves validating the emotion first, then working on coping strategies together.

The key takeaway is that validation creates emotional safety, which is necessary for children to face their fears

Course: Making sense of anxious kids

IMPORTANT NOTE:

Understanding Your Anxious Child's Mind - This episode introduces the concept of anxiety as an oversensitive "smoke alarm" in children, creating a "threat telescope" effect where minor issues seem overwhelming

Dr. Tan emphasizes that anxious children aren't being difficult; they are responding to a world that feels genuinely threatening

He also discusses how anxiety can manifest in various ways, including physical complaints, avoidance, and irritability

The episode highlights the importance of understanding what is happening in a child's mind to better support them

It encourages parents to shift their perspective from "What's wrong?" to "What feels unsafe right now?"

Course: Making Sense of Anxious Kids

IMPORTANT NOTE:

The information provided in these podcast episode descriptions is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice It is important to consult with a qualified healthcare professional for any concerns about a child's mental health.

The podcast series, "Making Sense of Anxious Kids," aims to help parents better understand and support their anxious children. Dr. Davin Tan, a child psychiatrist, shares insights and strategies based on his experience working with families The series covers topics such as understanding the anxious mind, effective communication techniques, and building resilience

Making Sense of Anxious Kids

Join Dr. Davin Tan as he delves into why some kids exhibit challenging behaviours and how we can better support them. He discusses:

• Misconceptions about "misbehavior" and the importance of understanding root causes.

• The "problem of fit" and how demands on children can exceed their coping abilities.

• Becoming a behaviour detective using the "ABC" method.

• The role of temperament in children's behaviour.

• Creating a supportive environment with empathy and understanding.

• Long-term strategies to help kids manage their emotions.

For more strategies, check out Dr. Tan's course MAKING SENSE OF ANXIOUS KIDS self paced audio course "www.huddlewisdom.com/makingsenseofanxiouskids"

A recap of the Meltdown Solution Series.

EBOOK available for download:

https://www.huddlewisdom.com/the-meltdown-solution-ebook

The STEPs procedure is an excellent, effective and easy method of creating solutions to problems that lead to meltdowns. It does take some practice but it saves you time and energy and helps your children to build up resilience as you go through this process.

The Meltdown Solution EBOOK

https://www.huddlewisdom.com/the-meltdown-solution-ebook

In this episode, we dive into Chapter 4 of the ebook, exploring how to create a Heatmap of Friction Points. This visual tool helps identify when and where meltdowns are likely to occur, enabling you to address potential triggers and create smoother transitions throughout the day.

Creating Your Own Heatmap:

1. Draw a timeline: Outline your typical day.

2. Mark meltdown times: Use red dots for frequent meltdowns.

3. Stressful periods: Mark these with orange dots.

4. Calm periods: Use green dots to indicate easy times.

Identifying Patterns:

• Look for clusters of red/orange dots.

• Identify challenging times and activities that lead to stress.

Real-Life Example:

• Sarah's Story: Sarah noticed her son had meltdowns around 4 PM. She adjusted her routine by preparing dinner earlier, setting up a quiet activity for her son, and involving him in simple food prep tasks. These changes turned a red spot on her Heatmap into a green one.

Using Your Heatmap:

1. Identify Patterns: Spot clusters of stress points.

2. Consider Factors: Think about hunger, fatigue, or overstimulation.

3. Brainstorm Solutions: Adjust schedules, prepare in advance, create routines, and introduce calming activities.

4. Implement Gradually: Focus on one or two friction points at a time.

5. Reassess Regularly: Review and update your Heatmap every few weeks.

• Pause the podcast to jot down one red spot on your Heatmap and three strategies to address it.

1. Overwhelming Red Spots: Focus on the most challenging times first.

2. Unpredictable Days: Look for patterns in activities rather than specific times.

3. Involving Your Child: Create a Heatmap together or use stickers for younger children.

4. Partner Disagreements: Create individual Heatmaps and compare notes.

5. Seeing Improvements: Consistent effort should show changes within weeks, though progress may not always be linear.

• The Heatmap aims to reduce unnecessary stress, not eliminate all challenges. Frustration is a normal part of child development.

• Homework: Create your own Heatmap, track your routine, and focus on one friction point.

Link to the Meltdown Solution eBook : https://www.huddlewisdom.com/the-meltdown-solution-ebook