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Ride with us... for our pleasure... as we pursue the Tooth Fairy in Thomas Harris' "Red Dragon."

Learn how eating centuries old watercolors can improve your gut microbiome, which brand of fast dissolving toilet paper is best for letter writing, and which aftershave to pick for a trip to visit the wonderful Hannibal Lecter.

Plus, we are really excited to finally have a reason to talk about NBC's "Hannibal." I mean, have you seen it? It's so good!

We make sure to tag and bag all the evidence on this one (including that block of cheese), so be ready for spoilers if you are new to the Lecter-verse. No, I don't think Lecter-verse will catch on, but maybe the LCU (Lecter Cinematic Universe)?

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In a big country dreams stay with you, but so do the misdeeds of the past if Stephen Graham Jones' "The Only Good Indians" has anything to say about it.

Hop in our pickup truck (once we get it off the cinder blocks) as we talk about visits to the local recycling center, opening up a brand new Circuit City, and where Slimer falls on that loathsome BMI.

As always, we trample through the whole plot, spoiling it as we go. Then again, you're probably just here to talk about Kurt Russell, and that's fine.

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Drop on by for an open house tour of Brian Asman's "Man, F*** This House." (Please take your shoes off, the carpet is brand new.)

We talk about the need for really "good bones" in this episode, and even bone structure, as the Crypt Keeper tries out Korean skincare routines, we recount actual haunted houses we have lived in, and we even give tips on how to cover up book titles with sticky notes for the benefit of any onlookers with delicate constitutions.

You can hire an inspector after your offer is accepted, but right away we should disclose that we spoil the whole plot of the novella in this episode. So, if you want to do a final walkthrough, great. Otherwise, buyer beware!

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Come along as we are lured like moths to the flame at the chance to talk about our favorite cryptid and spiritual ally: the Mothman!

Admittedly, we were supposed to be discussing John A. Keel's "The Mothman Prohpecies," but as we discovered only a few scant traces of our hero in it, we ended up feeling a bit betrayed (Well, in terms of betrayal, it's really no worse than a moderately successful Ponzi scheme).

Buckle up for a rocky and rant laden episode, as we search corporate restrooms for treats left by the Mothman, bump into celebrities at the Ross, and think about ways to creatively abridge books by about 150 pages.

Also, there are zero spoilers this time, because everyone already knows about the Silver Bridge collapse. And if you didn't, well you do now.

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Go deep undercover in a poorly lit parking garage as you listen in on our discussion of Brian Lumley's Cold War vampire spy-thriller "Necroscope."

Join us as we wait in line at horror buffets, watch cereal mascots fight over brand awareness, and play our favorite game: Cast! That! movie!

All the while, revel in our terrible mispronunciations of various names. Also, we apologize in advance for calling that one character "Gorman" instead of "Gormley" numerous times. What can we say? Buzz just has PG: Psycho Goreman on the mind...

It's at least as, if not more fun than sitting on an acid fountain. Unless you really hate spoilers, because we definitely have those in this episode.

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We sit down, not for an interview, but for a loosely organized conversation on the novel that brought vampire sexy back: Anne Rice's "Interview with the Vampire."

We really burn the midnight oil on this episode as we marvel at Rice's ability to deftly weave the genres of horror and romance (spicy!), give suggestions on how to fix a failing vampire marriage, and wonder just what would Dolly do (WWDO)?

Sit back, relax, and pour yourself a glass of O negative as we purposely spoil the entire plot of the novel and film of the same name. But let's be honest, you've definitely read this one already.

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On this episode we finally reconvene across time and space to discuss, at length we might add, Stephen King's incredibly influential novel "The Shining".

Although we have been described as quite dingy, we decide we are at least qualified to meditate on those who do shine on, as we explore fire hose snakes (symbolic!), when to hit the damper on that boiler, and our own inability to perform horticulture.

Obviously we spoil the whole book, the film of the same name, and even some documentary material around it. But I bet Tony already told you that...

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We dive headlong into Jay Anson's "The Amityville Horror" and all the real-life events, controversy, and media that surround it.

Engage the "what were they thinking" mode on your bippy, cause we leave no well in the basement unturned, no red room undiscovered, and no green slime untasted in this bizarre read about a pig who really just wanted to make friends and a lion statue that just wanted to understand human connection.

Spoilers for The Amityville Horror and its associated films, but it's pretty inconclusive, wouldn't you say?