"Just a quick note - this episode contains language some listeners might find offensive -- regarding experiences involving racism."

In 1963, Shawn was placed for adoption because his white mother's family didn't want a biracial grandson. As an infant, he passed for white, and he was adopted by a racist, rural Indiana family who didn't realize that he was black. Ashamed of his ethnicity, his mother concocted lies to hide his race from everyone, including Shawn.

This lack of racial identity caused depressing confusion and conflict with his education, relationships, and career, but his mother insisted that he was not to search for his birth family until after she died.

Around age 40, Shawn and his wife decided that he was well-suited to adopt other biracial babies. Through the adoption process, he discovered clues that helped him locate and reunite with his biological family.

Born Without a Race: The Struggles and Confusion of a Racially Ambiguous Adoptee, and How He Discovered His True Identity.

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker

Magic Mind Adoptee 20 Link
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Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, February 1st @ 1 pm ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Lisa was born in 1958 and grew up in Franklin, Indiana. She was the youngest of two, both of whom were adopted. As far back as she can remember, she always knew she was “chosen.”

With no real information to go on, after submitting her DNA and no close family hits, her husband put together a family tree in which they were able to identify her biological father. They think they have her biological mother identified, but have yet to make contact.

Lisa now lives in the St. Louis, Missouri area and has two fabulous children and a grandson. She also has 'bonus' children and grandchildren that she loves to see. She currently works as a software consultant but is on the verge of retiring. She also has two Bernedoodles that keep her very active.

Finding this podcast has helped her feel that, finally, she is not alone.

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker

Magic Mind Adoptee 20 Link
USE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTION
magicmind.com/adoptee20

JOIN US on March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered, Jeff Forney & The Innocent People Project + More!
Leave your email for more info!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is this Saturday, January 4th @ 1 pm ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Hiraeth Hope & Healing
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

In 1983, Matt’s mother delivered him in a metro Detroit hospital. Within a week he
was relinquished to Catholic Social Services, and moved into foster care to spend
the first three months of his life.

A married couple, unable to have a natural child themselves, adopted and raised
him lovingly as their first child. While growing up, Matt always knew he was
adopted, but besides this knowledge, his family rarely discussed the topic of
adoption.

Matt has been in reunion since 2009 with members of his biological family on his
maternal and paternal side, including his first mother. Only since 2022, though,
has ‘The Fog’ over his eyes begun to lift - that of the dominant narrative
surrounding the American adoption system.

Today, Matt lives in northwest lower Michigan with his girlfriend, their two cats,
and his two biological sons. He is writing a memoir about his life as an adoptee.

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker
Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.

JOIN US on March 8th in California!-
Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered with Liz DeBetta + Jeff Forney & More!
Leave your email for more info!

Magic Mind Adoptee 20 Link
USE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTION
magicmind.com/adoptee20

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Hiraeth Hope & Healing
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom with the ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is December January 4th

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Jennifer is an adoptee born in Orange County, California, in 1963. The first six weeks of her life remain a mystery. Although she was adopted by a loving family, her journey has not been easy. As part of the Baby Scoop Era, she was relinquished at birth and spent her early weeks in foster care.

Her adoptive family, led by the daughter of a well-known artist and former model, provided a stable home, but Jennifer always felt like she wasn’t enough. She grew up as the middle child with two brothers: her older brother, who was also adopted, and her younger brother, the biological son of her adoptive parents, who had been surprised by his arrival, as they had previously been told they couldn’t have children.

Jennifer always knew she was adopted, though she can’t remember being explicitly told. As she grew older, she became curious about her origins and began wondering who she might resemble. This curiosity led her down a destructive path, turning to drugs and alcohol as a way to cope. Years of rebellion, running away, and conflicts with her parents culminated in her legal emancipation at age 15.

Things continued to spiral out of control until she ended up in a treatment center in Portland, Oregon. Once she had regained clarity, Jennifer realized she needed to understand her medical history, and so began a search for her biological family. Remarkably, it only took three hours for a search specialist to find them.

However, not all reunions are as heartwarming as one might hope. Jennifer’s birth mother, sadly, had no interest in reconnecting and refused to meet her. Despite this, Jennifer did find a half-brother with whom she still maintains a relationship. Tragically, her birth mother passed away in 2023, never having met the daughter she had given life to in 1963. In Jennifer’s words, “It’s her loss.” Coincidentally, just weeks after her birth mother’s death, Jennifer’s adoptive mother passed away as well.

Today, Jennifer has come to terms with the reality that she will never know the woman who gave birth to her. Meeting other biological family members has become a meaningful part of her journey. She is currently working on her memoir, Sometimes You Just Need a Lollipop: A Very Adult Story of My Spiritual Awakening, a candid exploration of her life’s struggles, her search for self, and her spiritual growth.

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker

Magic Mind Adoptee 20 Link
USE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTION
magicmind.com/adoptee20

JOIN US in March 8th in Atascadero, California - Live Podcast, Un-M-Othered + More!
Leave your email for more info!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is on January 4th @ 1 pm ET.

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Adam was adopted from Huentitán el Alto, in Jalisco, Mexico. Ron and Wendy had already adopted a son so they planned on adopting a girl as their second child to be named Amy but she suddenly passed away and out of distraught they told the lawyer to give them the next baby available, me. They changed names from Amy to Adam.

Adam always felt different, like from another world. He exhibited signs of abandonment issues early on never allowing his mother to leave him without crying. In hindsight, he can say it was because he didn’t think she would come back. Not in the sense that other kids cry for their mom to pick them up, he thought she might never come back. This fear of being left developed well into his teens and adulthood in the form of abusive relationships which he would never leave and manifested into several life-threatening situations.

To couple this, Adam experienced an Identity crisis and at the age of 17, he felt as if his name no longer fit him. He wasn’t Juan Carlos anymore (his birth name) but he no longer felt comfortable claiming the full name his adoptive parents gave him. He legally changed it to keep Adam and to have Esparza Plascencia as his surname, given to him at birth. Maybe he could feel as if he was a part of both. He knew his name because he kept his adoption certificate, more or less a one-page contract that his birth mother signed in pen, Maria De Jesus Esparza Plascencia. At times when he was left alone with his thoughts he would trace the engraved ink on the parchment to bring him closer to her. To try and feel her sentiment.

Adam works as Director for a CBO (Community Based Organization) specializing in youth outreach in elementary schools through the Queens, NY borough and is licensed by the OCFS (The Office of Children and Family Services). As his journey to reunion continues he is also happy to announce a new position as one of several Ambassadors representing The Adoptee Mentoring Society, a community giving light to the adoptee narrative and providing support for adoptees, by adoptees.

Through his catharsis and above all else he has come to the realization that the road back to oneself is not external after all but inside each and everyone of us just the same. For Adam, it was time to let go of “being let go of”. By sharing his own healing process he hopes to enable other adoptees along the winding road we all have in common.

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker
Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.

Magic Mind Adoptee 20 Link
USE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTION
magicmind.com/adoptee20

See us on March 8th in Atascadero, California
Leave your email for more info!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting is on January 4th @ 1 pm ET.

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Melissa was adopted at birth in 1965 in Little Rock, AR. Her adoptive parents were able to take her home at five days old straight from the hospital since it was a private adoption facilitated by the doctors and lawyer. Understanding the signs of the times as she grew, she never felt rejected by her birth mother. Her life has been full and blessed from the beginning. For most of her life, she declared there wasn’t a desire to search when asked. However, searching for familiar faces in a crowd and then internet and social media searches crept throughout different periods of her lifetime. Holding her daughter and then her son two years later increased her desire to have biological connections that had been missing in her life. When her adoptive father began having health problems, she knew it was time to get serious about her search.

Submitting DNA led to close matches on her paternal and maternal sides. Through these connections she was able to identify her living birth father and then 2 years later her living birth mother. When her search journey began, she had two conscious thoughts about how it would unfold:

1. "Everyone who could be adversely affected are adults. My children, their children, etc. Adults can do hard things. This has to be God's timing for us to connect."
2. All the adoption stories, movies, or books she had encountered up to that point had wonderful, happy endings where everyone reconnected and was grateful to do so.

She quickly realized how wrong she was on both counts. This is why podcasts like this one and books like The Girls Who Went Away are so vital. She’s met family members on both sides who have been welcoming but UNJUSTIFIED rejection has been the prevailing theme of her story. One sibling in particular has put up barriers trying to prevent her from connecting with her birth mother. The measures this sibling has taken are truly unbelievable especially since this sibling proclaims to be Christian and Pro-Life. Until she started researching beyond the idyllic stories, she wouldn't have found the peace needed to understand why her journey had been so difficult.

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker

MAGIC MIND: Black Friday offer, it's currently 50% off until the 6th of December, only with our link: https://www.magicmind.com/adopteebf

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Thank you to our Patrons! The next ADOPTEE CAFE is December 7th @ 1 pm ET

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Michelle Rice-Gauvreau is a native Mohawk woman born in 1969 in Canada and raised in Connecticut via an illegal adoption, which was commonplace for many Indian babies throughout many years across North America. She is the author of Who Am I? Native American Child Taken From A Reservation And Raised In White America. Michelle is a compassionate advocate for all adoptees looking for their own truth, peace, and hope. She hopes to instill her strength to any adoptee struggling to find their way.
​
Michelle now works as a legal professional for a prestigious law firm. She resides in Connecticut with her husband of many years and her two senior cats. She enjoys traveling and learning more about native cultures far and wide.

To find Michelle:
Powwows.com
Medium.com / authority-magazine
Awesomegang.com/michelle-gauvreau
Womensjournal.com
Booknerdection.com

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker
Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.

Magic Mind Adoptee 20 Link
USE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTION
magicmind.com/adoptee20

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Hiraeth Hope & Healing
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. This is an adoptee-only space. We do appreciate all of our patrons. The next meeting is December 7th @ 1 pm ET

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Rebecca is an adoptee, mother, teacher, historian, and award-winning author of the recently published ‘Who Is a Worthy Mother'? An Intimate History of Adoption.’ Rebecca was driven to write a history of adoption in the United States from the perspective of an adoptee and to honor the memory of her older sister and the truth of brave women everywhere. Rebecca teaches in the School of Education at the University of Puget Sound and lives in Seattle with her husband and two daughters.

To find Becca: https://www.rebeccawellington.com/

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker
Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.

Magic Mind Adoptee 20 Link
USE THE CODE AND LINK TO RECEIVE 20% OFF YOUR SUBSCRIPTION
magicmind.com/adoptee20

RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Hiraeth Hope & Healing
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly Zoom /ADOPTEE CAFE community. This is an adoptee-only space. We do appreciate all of our patrons. The next meeting is December 7th @ 1 pm ET

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.