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In this episode, we delve into the complexities of compulsive behaviors, from minor bad habits to severe addictions. Learn foundational strategies to shift your relationship with these urges and begin your path towards healing. Drawing from personal experience and extensive coaching practice, we explore how to tackle compulsions with compassion and understanding rather than force and judgment. Discover practical techniques like grounding, acceptance, and presence to gradually dismantle these behaviors and enhance cognitive function. With insights into how mental health parallels physical healing, uncover the importance of aligning your psyche and paving the way for true self-expression and freedom.

00:00 Introduction to Ending Compulsions
01:08 Understanding Compulsions
03:21 The Inner War and Psychological Divides
05:42 Compassionate Self-Treatment
07:06 The Role of External Help
07:37 The Limits of Self-Control
09:56 Grounding and Acceptance
16:51 The Power of Delay
20:07 Embracing True Freedom
22:07 Conclusion and Next Steps

To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

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In this episode, John discusses how to overcome shame to gain access to your inner world and achieve inner peace. He explains the crippling nature of shame, its dual nature, and how it affects our mental health. John shares his personal journey with childhood PTSD and his years-long quest to understand mental illness and trauma. He emphasizes the importance of disempowering shame to empower oneself and offers practical steps to bypass shame and unlock one's true potential.

00:00 Introduction to Overcoming Shame
00:11 Understanding the Nature of Shame
00:17 The Dual Nature of Shame
00:56 Personal Journey and Motivation
01:49 Shame's Role in Mental Health
03:28 Shame in Public vs. Private Spaces
04:31 Shame as a Barrier to Inner Work
07:42 Disempowering Shame
08:33 Objective Observation Exercise
13:03 Conclusion and Next Steps

To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

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Transforming Your Life by Overcoming All or Nothing Thinking

In this episode, John delves into the pervasive issue of all-or-nothing thinking, a mindset that can impede progress in various aspects of life including weight loss, relationships, and career goals. John discusses the origin of this mentality, often rooted in childhood experiences and perfectionism, and offers practical strategies to identify and overcome it. He emphasizes the importance of setting realistic, incremental goals and maintaining a presence with one's objective reality to facilitate meaningful progress. John also explains how reframing moderate efforts as valuable can break the cycle of shame and extreme attempts followed by failure. For those interested, he offers coaching resources and invites viewers to join a new community focused on personal freedom and inner work.

00:00 Introduction to All or Nothing Thinking
00:47 Meet Your Coach: John Oakes
01:51 The Impact of All or Nothing Thinking
02:18 Real-Life Example and Resources
03:07 Understanding Human Behavior
04:50 The Roots of Perfectionism
07:43 Breaking the Cycle of Shame
10:20 Practical Steps to Overcome All or Nothing Thinking
12:32 The Importance of Moderate Solutions
19:06 Staying Grounded and Moving Forward
22:51 Conclusion and Community Invitation

To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

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In this episode, John takes viewers through five key shifts essential for healing from PTSD: moving from survival mode to seeking what you truly want, transitioning from rule-based to values-based living, fostering hope rather than relying solely on prediction, surrendering control to embrace internal motivation, and transitioning from resistance to acceptance. John emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and inner peace in overcoming trauma and living an authentic life. He also touches on practical steps to aid in this transformation process.

00:00 Introduction and Personal Journey
00:18 Five Key Shifts in Healing from PTSD
00:39 Understanding the A/B Dichotomy
02:29 From Rule-Based to Values-Based Living
05:45 Shifting from Prediction to Hope
09:18 Control vs. Surrender
11:02 Resistance to Acceptance
12:26 Bonus Shifts: Self-Acceptance and Inner Peace
15:08 Conclusion and Call to Action

To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

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In this episode, John delves deeply into the concept of acceptance as a crucial step in healing from trauma. He explains how acceptance frees up energy, outlines its role in better understanding and contextualizing traumatic experiences, and advocates for recognizing the ongoing manifestations of trauma in daily life. The episode touches on three areas of acceptance: accepting the reality of what happened, accepting the present-day consequences, and accepting the hidden brokenness that others may not see. John emphasizes the importance of community support and announces plans to create a community focused on healing from trauma.

00:00 Introduction to Trauma and Healing
00:59 Understanding Acceptance
04:47 Accepting What Happened
07:47 Accepting Present Realities
14:12 The Hidden Brokenness
20:44 Building a Supportive Community
22:59 Conclusion and Next Steps

To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growth
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In this episode, John provides a comprehensive overview of self love in the context of healing from trauma and mental illness. Key points discussed include common myths and misconceptions about self love, such as vanity, narcissism, and selfishness, and how these ideas are influenced by religious and cultural backgrounds. John also addresses the obstacles to self love such as dogma, avoidance patterns, cognitive biases around responsibility and service, the addiction to earning love, self hatred, and the distrust of oneself.

00:00 Introduction to Self Love and Healing

00:42 Myths and Misconceptions About Self Love

01:59 Religious Influences on Self Love

03:06 The Impact of Narcissism and Hubris

04:59 Selfishness and Self Love

07:05 Evangelical Whiplash and Cognitive Dissonance

12:08 Clearing the Path for True Self Love

14:56 Obstacles to Self Love

15:46 Dogma and Religious Upbringing

20:59 Patterning and Avoidance

22:17 Cognitive Bias of Responsibility and Service

26:26 Addiction to Earning Love

28:20 Self Hatred and Compulsions

33:15 Healing the Divide Within

37:52 Conclusion and Next Steps

To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growth
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People Pleasing is f**king you up way more than you think.

In this episode, John Oakes explores the concept of people pleasing, revealing that it is often not about making others happy but a survival mechanism rooted in childhood. He discusses how this behavior can significantly affect mental health, weight loss goals, and overall wellbeing. Through the example of a character named Cindy, John illustrates the consequences of prioritizing others over oneself and offers steps to reclaim personal freedom and assertiveness. He also shares insights into the deep-rooted fears that drive people pleasing and provides guidance on how to begin breaking free from these patterns.

00:00 Introduction to People Pleasing
00:45 Personal Story and Mission
01:34 Understanding People Pleasing and Weight Struggles
04:22 The Case of Cindy: A People Pleaser's Life
14:43 Childhood Roots of People Pleasing
19:19 The Impact of People Pleasing in Adulthood
23:45 Understanding the Nature of Control and People Pleasing
24:17 Steps to Break Free from People Pleasing
27:06 Facing Your Fears and Setting Boundaries
29:45 The Importance of Self-Care and Personal Wellbeing
33:50 Accepting Your Reality and Needs
38:45 The Journey to Emotional Freedom
40:51 Conclusion and Coaching Information

To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growth
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In this episode, John tackles one of the greatest tragedies of unhealed trauma: the fact that it causes us to vehemently reject good things in life.

• Why, every day, millions of people actively reject opportunity, money, and caring relationships.
• How childhood trauma creates a false frame of reference that warps adult judgment.
• How this warped judgment causes good people to reject good things.
• Why people get scared when they near a genuine opportunity for change.
• Why we distract from the misery of our lives (and not just to avoid misery)
• How this phenomenon forms a negative feedback loop that traps us
• How we can slowly but surely free ourselves from this trap
• How we can expand the possibilities for our lives by identifying and dismantling this malformed aspect of the psyche.

To inquire about 1 -1 Coaching with John - email John at john@oakesweightloss.com

Buy my book! 75 EASY: the ultimate challenge for personal growth
Amazon US
UK
CA
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Weight loss coaching - Join the Weight Loss Freedom Academy today

Join the free "Lose Weight with John" community

Check out the EASY WAY OUT Blog/Newsletter site

Watch the Easy Way Out on Youtube